I walked into the woods and there you were again.
Amidst the brush
Staring at me with those all too familiar yellow eyes.
In the crisp winter air, your breath was white,
Contrasting the shade of your face.
The chill in my spine sent shockwaves through my heart
Infuriating its ventricles.
I glanced down at the war in my chest
And suddenly your breath heaved against my neck.
This time I did not cower.
Looking you in the eye,
Breast touching breast,
Words welled up in my throat
And exploded as spit upon your face.
Then I set my feet on the path,
Finding my way to the meadow where she lay.
Because I am supposed to be writing this
And all I can think about is you.
And you are all that I have written about
For hours uncountable to thieves.
How have you stolen all I know
With smiles stretched across our faces?
Veins pulsing through my wrists
Reflecting the green of your ever-gleaming eyes.
Beer bottles dripped of shared saliva
Dareful demons in a room of angels.
You, seeping my sweatshirt in smells of you.
Oh God, how they envied us.
Oh God, how I envied us.
I once met a girl,
She waltzed past me in the woods.
Mesmerized by her moves, I followed her path.
She sung a melody that enticed me
Her eyes spoke her mind and I didn’t mind
The rope it wove around me as I walked behind.
Passing trees as free as she,
I neglected to see the edge she so elegantly danced off
And when my sight came to I realized
I was falling.
My darling, I was
‘Cause I looked up at you as
Glory shout through my ears
And lightning struck my chest.
Entirely unaware of the shock you
Sent through me.
I battled against every tear
Forming in the wells of my eyes
As they simply stopped,
Staring at you.
Quietly. You remained, unnoticing.
Breath barely found my lips.
Glasses hanging from your face
Glancing the words and they rolled
On and on.
And on and on
I gazed at you.
The heaving thud of my heart
Tearing tremors through my fingertips
And they tried to convey
Poorly. As if knowing their inadequacy.
Even if written in blood upon the page
Only my veins
Would know what that lightening was like.
Only they have felt every drop you have
Changed in me.
Headlight after headlight passed by
Contrasting the nocturnal night
And blinding my eye.
Melancholy music tore open the memories of my mind.
A flood of earlier times
As we drove the desert dry.
You were my pain in person,
Torn with tears
And seared in secrets.
The tangled up sheets of
Dream and desire
Shackled in the chamber of
Crude laughter & closed doors.
You were the figure
Dancing on the inflection of
The water penetrating my pulsating
As it pressed against the shower’s floor.
You were the fingers inside me,
Numbing the walls
reeking of desperation and
Drenched in depression.
The solemn shot burning the shards of shattered wood that
Stabbed through my esophagus,
Branding the butterflies of
Suffocating screams and smiling sofas.
Moonlight kissed your skin
And laughter escaped your lips.
Your fingers caressed the
Palm of my hand,
Claiming these memories
And attaching them to the fading melody.
In the second of silence between two songs,
You were my story:
Encompassing my pain,
And wiping it clean.
Naked, wrapped in nothing but a ***** white towel we’d stolen from the pool,
Pain that stabbed her insides as the initial shock was ripped off like a Band-Aid used to heal a wound but this…
this one was ripped off too soon because her heart has not yet begun to heal.
It was shattered in a pile of “I no longer love you’s” and
As tears shot like bullets down her face,
Piercing her chest, she said it, the question that holds no answer:
“How could God let me love someone so much,
who doesn’t love me back?”
My, how inexplicably beautiful you are, but I cannot tell you.
You are gone, and the lights are off,
And I am alone.