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1

I am a house, says Senlin, locked and darkened,
Sealed from the sun with wall and door and blind.
Summon me loudly, and you'll hear slow footsteps
Ring far and faint in the galleries of my mind.
You'll hear soft steps on an old and dusty stairway;
Peer darkly through some corner of a pane,
You'll see me with a faint light coming slowly,
Pausing above some gallery of the brain . . .

I am a city . . . In the blue light of evening
Wind wanders among my streets and makes them fair;
I am a room of rock . . . a maiden dances
Lifting her hands, tossing her golden hair.
She combs her hair, the room of rock is darkened,
She extends herself in me, and I am sleep.
It is my pride that starlight is above me;
I dream amid waves of air, my walls are deep.

I am a door . . . before me roils the darkness,
Behind me ring clear waves of sound and light.
Stand in the shadowy street outside, and listen-
The crying of violins assails the night . . .
My walls are deep, but the cries of music pierce them;
They shake with the sound of drums . . . yet it is strange
That I should know so little what means this music,
Hearing it always within me change and change.

Knock on the door,-and you shall have an answer.
Open the heavy walls to set me free,
And blow a horn to call me into the sunlight,-
And startled, then, what a strange thing you will see!
Nuns, murderers, and drunkards, saints and sinners,
Lover and dancing girl and sage and clown
Will laugh upon you, and you will find me nowhere.
I am a room, a house, a street, a town.

2

It is morning, Senlin says, and in the morning
When the light drips through the shutters like the dew,
I arise, I face the sunrise,
And do the things my fathers learned to do.
Stars in the purple dusk above the rooftops
Pale in a saffron mist and seem to die,
And I myself on a swiftly tilting planet
Stand before a glass and tie my tie.

Vine leaves tap my window,
Dew-drops sing to the garden stones,
The robin chips in the chinaberry tree
Repeating three clear tones.

It is morning. I stand by the mirror
And tie my tie once more.
While waves far off in a pale rose twilight
Crash on a white sand shore.
I stand by a mirror and comb my hair:
How small and white my face!-
The green earth tilts through a sphere of air
And bathes in a flame of space.
There are houses hanging above the stars
And stars hung under a sea . . .
And a sun far off in a shell of silence
Dapples my walls for me . . .

It is morning, Senlin says, and in the morning
Should I not pause in the light to remember God?
Upright and firm I stand on a star unstable,
He is immense and lonely as a cloud.
I will dedicate this moment before my mirror
To him alone, and for him I will comb my hair.
Accept these humble offerings, cloud of silence!
I will think of you as I descend the stair.

Vine leaves tap my window,
The snail-track shines on the stones,
Dew-drops flash from the chinaberry tree
Repeating two clear tones.

It is morning, I awake from a bed of silence,
Shining I rise from the starless waters of sleep.
The walls are about me still as in the evening,
I am the same, and the same name still I keep.
The earth revolves with me, yet makes no motion,
The stars pale silently in a coral sky.
In a whistling void I stand before my mirror,
Unconcerned, I tie my tie.

There are horses neighing on far-off hills
Tossing their long white manes,
And mountains flash in the rose-white dusk,
Their shoulders black with rains . . .

It is morning. I stand by the mirror
And surprise my soul once more;
The blue air rushes above my ceiling,
There are suns beneath my floor . . .

. . . It is morning, Senlin says, I ascend from darkness
And depart on the winds of space for I know not where,
My watch is wound, a key is in my pocket,
And the sky is darkened as I descend the stair.
There are shadows across the windows, clouds in heaven,
And a god among the stars; and I will go
Thinking of him as I might think of daybreak
And humming a tune I know . . .

Vine-leaves tap at the window,
Dew-drops sing to the garden stones,
The robin chirps in the chinaberry tree
Repeating three clear tones.

3

I walk to my work, says Senlin, along a street
Superbly hung in space.
I lift these mortal stones, and with my trowel
I tap them into place.
But is god, perhaps, a giant who ties his tie
Grimacing before a colossal glass of sky?

These stones are heavy, these stones decay,
These stones are wet with rain,
I build them into a wall today,
Tomorrow they fall again.

Does god arise from a chaos of starless sleep,
Rise from the dark and stretch his arms and yawn;
And drowsily look from the window at his garden;
And rejoice at the dewdrop sparkeling on his lawn?

Does he remember, suddenly, with amazement,
The yesterday he left in sleep,-his name,-
Or the glittering street superbly hung in wind
Along which, in the dusk, he slowly came?

I devise new patterns for laying stones
And build a stronger wall.
One drop of rain astonishes me
And I let my trowel fall.

The flashing of leaves delights my eyes,
Blue air delights my face;
I will dedicate this stone to god
And tap it into its place.

4

That woman-did she try to attract my attention?
Is it true I saw her smile and nod?
She turned her head and smiled . . . was it for me?
It is better to think of work or god.
The clouds pile coldly above the houses
Slow wind revolves the leaves:
It begins to rain, and the first long drops
Are slantingly blown from eaves.

But it is true she tried to attract my attention!
She pressed a rose to her chin and smiled.
Her hand was white by the richness of her hair,
Her eyes were those of a child.
It is true she looked at me as if she liked me.
And turned away, afraid to look too long!
She watched me out of the corners of her eyes;
And, tapping time with fingers, hummed a song.

. . . Nevertheless, I will think of work,
With a trowel in my hands;
Or the vague god who blows like clouds
Above these dripping lands . . .

But . . . is it sure she tried to attract my attention?
She leaned her elbow in a peculiar way
There in the crowded room . . . she touched my hand . . .
She must have known, and yet,-she let it stay.
Music of flesh! Music of root and sod!
Leaf touching leaf in the rain!
Impalpable clouds of red ascend,
Red clouds blow over my brain.

Did she await from me some sign of acceptance?
I smoothed my hair with a faltering hand.
I started a feeble smile, but the smile was frozen:
Perhaps, I thought, I misunderstood.
Is it to be conceived that I could attract her-
This dull and futile flesh attract such fire?
I,-with a trowel's dullness in hand and brain!-
Take on some godlike aspect, rouse desire?
Incredible! . . . delicious! . . . I will wear
A brighter color of tie, arranged with care,
I will delight in god as I comb my hair.

And the conquests of my bolder past return
Like strains of music, some lost tune
Recalled from youth and a happier time.
I take my sweetheart's arm in the dusk once more;
One more we climb

Up the forbidden stairway,
Under the flickering light, along the railing:
I catch her hand in the dark, we laugh once more,
I hear the rustle of silk, and follow swiftly,
And softly at last we close the door.

Yes, it is true that woman tried to attract me:
It is true she came out of time for me,
Came from the swirling and savage forest of earth,
The cruel eternity of the sea.
She parted the leaves of waves and rose from silence
Shining with secrets she did not know.
Music of dust! Music of web and web!
And I, bewildered, let her go.

I light my pipe. The flame is yellow,
Edged underneath with blue.
These thoughts are truer of god, perhaps,
Than thoughts of god are true.

5

It is noontime, Senlin says, and a street piano
Strikes sharply against the sunshine a harsh chord,
And the universe is suddenly agitated,
And pain to my heart goes glittering like a sword.
Do I imagine it? The dust is shaken,
The sunlight quivers, the brittle oak-leaves tremble.
The world, disturbed, conceals its agitation;
And I, too, will dissemble.

Yet it is sorrow has found my heart,
Sorrow for beauty, sorrow for death;
And pain twirls slowly among the trees.

The street-piano revolves its glittering music,
The sharp notes flash and dazzle and turn,
Memory's knives are in this sunlit silence,
They ripple and lazily burn.
The star on which my shadow falls is frightened,-
It does not move; my trowel taps a stone,
The sweet note wavers amid derisive music;
And I, in horror of sunlight, stand alone.

Do not recall my weakness, savage music!
Let the knives rest!
Impersonal, harsh, the music revolves and glitters,
And the notes like poniards pierce my breast.
And I remember the shadows of webs on stones,
And the sound or rain on withered grass,
And a sorrowful face that looked without illusions
At its image in the glass.

Do not recall my childhood, pitiless music!
The green blades flicker and gleam,
The red bee bends the clover, deeply humming;
In the blue sea above me lazily stream
Cloud upon thin-brown cloud, revolving, scattering;
The mulberry tree rakes heaven and drops its fruit;
Amazing sunlight sings in the opened vault
On dust and bones, and I am mute.

It is noon; the bells let fall soft flowers of sound.
They turn on the air, they shrink in the flare of noon.
It is night; and I lie alone, and watch through the window
The terrible ice-white emptiness of the moon.
Small bells, far off, spill jewels of sound like rain,
A long wind hurries them whirled and far,
A cloud creeps over the moon, my bed is darkened,
I hold my breath and watch a star.

Do not disturb my memories, heartless music!
I stand once more by a vine-dark moonlit wall,
The sound of my footsteps dies in a void of moonlight,
And I watch white jasmine fall.
Is it my heart that falls? Does earth itself
Drift, a white petal, down the sky?
One bell-note goes to the stars in the blue-white silence,
Solitary and mournful, a somnolent cry.

6

Death himself in the rain . . . death himself . . .
Death in the savage sunlight . . . skeletal death . . .
I hear the clack of his feet,
Clearly on stones, softly in dust;
He hurries among the trees
Whirling the leaves, tossing he hands from waves.
Listen! the immortal footsteps beat.

Death himself in the grass, death himself,
Gyrating invisibly in the sun,
Scatters the grass-blades, whips the wind,
Tears at boughs with malignant laughter:
On the long echoing air I hear him run.

Death himself in the dusk, gathering lilacs,
Breaking a white-fleshed bough,
Strewing purple on a cobwebbed lawn,
Dancing, dancing,
The long red sun-rays glancing
On flailing arms, skipping with hideous knees
Cavorting grotesque ecstasies:
I do not see him, but I see the lilacs fall,
I hear the scrape of knuckles against the wall,
The leaves are tossed and tremble where he plunges among them,
And I hear the sound of his breath,
Sharp and whistling, the rythm of death.

It is evening: the lights on a long street balance and sway.
In the purple ether they swing and silently sing,
The street is a gossamer swung in space,
And death himself in the wind comes dancing along it,
And the lights, like raindrops, tremble and swing.
Hurry, spider, and spread your glistening web,
For death approaches!
Hurry, rose, and open your heart to the bee,
For death approaches!
Maiden, let down your hair for the hands of your lover,
Comb it with moonlight and wreathe it with leaves,
For death approaches!

Death, huge in the star; small in the sand-grain;
Death himself in the rain,
Drawing the rain about him like a garment of jewels:
I hear the sound of his feet
On the stairs of the wind, in the sun,
In the forests of the sea . . .
Listen! the immortal footsteps beat!

7

It is noontime, Senlin says. The sky is brilliant
Above a green and dreaming hill.
I lay my trowel down. The pool is cloudless,
The grass, the wall, the peach-tree, all are still.

It appears to me that I am one with these:
A hill, upon whose back are a wall and trees.
It is noontime: all seems still
Upon this green and flowering hill.

Yet suddenly out of nowhere in the sky,
A cloud comes whirling, and flings
A lazily coiled vortex of shade on the hill.
It crosses the hill, and a bird in the peach-tree sings.
Amazing! Is there a change?
The hill seems somehow strange.
It is noontime. And in the tree
The leaves are delicately disturbed
Where the bird descends invisibly.
It is noontime. And in the pool
The sky is blue and cool.

Yet suddenly out of nowhere,
Something flings itself at the hill,
Tears with claws at the earth,
Lunges and hisses and softly recoils,
Crashing against the green.
The peach-tree braces itself, the pool is frightened,
The grass-blades quiver, the bird is still;
The wall silently struggles against the sunlight;
A terror stiffens the hill.
The trees turn rigidly, to face
Something that circles with slow pace:
The blue pool seems to shrink
From something that slides above its brink.
What struggle is this, ferocious and still-
What war in sunlight on this hill?
What is it creeping to dart
Like a knife-blade at my heart?

It is noontime, Senlin says, and all is tranquil:
The brilliant sky burns over a greenbright earth.
The peach-tree dreams in the sun, the wall is contented.
A bird in the peach-leaves, moving from sun to shadow,
Phrases again his unremembering mirth,
His lazily beautiful, foolish, mechanical mirth.

8

The pale blue gloom of evening comes
Among the phantom forests and walls
With a mournful and rythmic sound of drums.
My heart is disturbed with a sound of myriad throbbing,
Persuasive and sinister, near and far:
In the blue evening of my heart
I hear the thrum of the evening star.

My work is uncompleted; and yet I hurry,-
Hearing the whispered pulsing of those drums,-
To enter the luminous walls and woods of night.
It is the eternal mistress of the world
Who shakes these drums for my delight.
Listen! the drums of the leaves, the drums of the dust,
The delicious quivering of this air!

I will leave my work unfinished, and I will go
With ringing and certain step through the laughter of chaos
To the one small room in the void I know.
Yesterday it was there,-
Will I find it tonight once more when I climb the stair?
The drums of the street beat swift and soft:
In the blue evening of my heart
I hear the throb of the bridal star.
It weaves deliciously in my brain
A tyrannous melody of her:
Hands in sunlight, threads of rain
Against a weeping face that fades,
Snow on a blackened window-pane;
Fire, in a dusk of hair entangled;
Flesh, more delicate than fruit;
And a voice that searches quivering nerves
For a string to mute.

My life is uncompleted: and yet I hurry
Among the tinkling forests and walls of evening
To a certain fragrant room.
Who is it that dances there, to a beating of drums,
While stars on a grey sea bud and bloom?
She stands at the top of the stair,
With the lamplight on her hair.
I will walk through the snarling of streams of space
And climb the long steps carved from wind
And rise once more towards her face.
Listen! the drums of the drowsy trees
Beating our nuptial ecstasies!

Music spins from the heart of silence
And twirls me softly upon the air:
It takes my hand and whispers to me:
It draws the web of the moonlight down.
There are hands, it says, as cool as snow,
The hands of the Venus of the sea;
There are waves of sound in a mermaid-cave;-
Come-then-come with me!
The flesh of the sea-rose new and cool,
The wavering image of her who comes
At dusk by a blue sea-pool.

Whispers upon the haunted air-
Whisper of foam-white arm and thigh;
And a shower of delicate lights blown down
Fro the laughing sky! . . .
Music spins from a far-off room.
Do you remember,-it seems to say,-
The mouth that smiled, beneath your mouth,
And kissed you . . . yesterday?
It is your own flesh waits for you.
Come! you are incomplete! . . .
The drums of the universe once more
Morosely beat.
It is the harlot of the world
Who clashes the leaves like ghostly drums
And disturbs the solitude of my heart
As evening comes!

I leave my work once more and walk
Along a street that sways in the wind.
I leave these st
1519

The Dandelion’s pallid tube
Astonishes the Grass,
And Winter instantly becomes
An infinite Alas—

The tube uplifts a signal Bud
And then a shouting Flower,—
The Proclamation of the Suns
That sepulture is o’er.
ryn Jan 2017
He doesn't see past the horizon of his life
He doesn't indulge in the myth of the hereafter
He doesn't believe he is worthy of such a notion
He doesn't make it a habit to put pen to paper

But with her...

He envisions the future like he's lived it before
He sings of his plans that span several lifetimes
He romanticises his thoughts as soon as they're conceived
He converses in paintings and writes only in rhymes
L Seagull May 2017
It is
And it's changing
The wind into summer shower
Into mushrooms and birds mouth
From river to the sewer
It is and it's changing
From dark to light to dim with
Speckles of sun born by the
Mirror in you childlike hand
You are catching dust bunnies
Sneezing and laughing
And the dirt could be followed by magic
And the kiss isn't greased by the notion
Of sin and the sin is only a word from the book
Death and insanity
Are frightening and profound
Your world is built from
No buts but ands
And they flow into peace
Just as well as the film of oil
On the ***** puddle
Astonishes you with
An iridescent rainbow
Duality is born by fear
You split and separate so
Caught up in the survival game
To keep that face and partake
Of wealth and fame
Empty is locked in the dungeon
And the words interlock
In plain patterns
Yet alive as they produce sounds
And the smell of tangerines
On a tree by the coast of Sicily
Reminds you of the day
When you could still enjoy
The warmth of sun
It absorbed into its juicy flesh
And there's no need to run
No need to stay
No need to cut off the ties
When life offers you more
And the heat and cold are feelings
That gets names as they replace each other
As they flow unstoppable
Dripping reactions
Burning like acid and smooth like milk
All in one glass
And when you have no thoughts
Ask questions
And when you feel the pain
Stay present and consider humanity
Lola N Mae Sep 2011
This is who I am and it will always be ILLOGICAL, IRRATIONAL and above all, STUPID.

I miss you.

You don't understand me. Its not feasible. Everything won't work. You won't work. I won't work. We won't work. You can't reason your way out of this. Not enough time. Not enough time for me. Not enough time for us. It would've ended anyways he tells me. I tell myself this over and over. Convince yourself, I AM INDEPENDENT. I will vitalize and intoxicate myself by myself. Thats what people do everyday. The issue being, I am not a genuine person. I persuade and assure myself I can handle this role and it satisfies my craving for normalcy. I'm not a gifted actress. I lose more and more social contacts due to this complication. I must learn from the independent ones so I can stop breaking apart these silly boys limb by limb.

You must stop making them care for you. You are not a whole person and therefore cannot be an authentic concern of others. You are imaginary. You are empty. Two opposite minds, insanity and sanity, fighting over the same body is an immense misadventure. Insanity wants to ******* boys, intently watching the peculiar escape routes they design. She sneers as they try and try, withered by a constant sense of defeat, each of them exhibiting exciting, unique and new qualities. She forces the body's muscles into a terrifying object. Then she denies his superiority complex of its primary function as he realizes that this damsel is in a permanent brand of distress. Sanity, however, is fleeting. Sometimes, she truly gives a **** about others. She is the pure example of meek, anemic and decrepit aftermath. She is selfless for selfish reasons. She wants them to adore her. She will exceed expectations, impresses and astonishes them. The product of this relished humanistic quality, acceptance, nourishes her. She savors boys who tell her she is strong and capable. Lies lies lies lies lies is all they speak. Its been too many years. She's forsaken by insanity.

Never enough time for this. Nobody has enough time. Who will give me the time? These days the clock shows seamless progressions to worse and worse. Sleepless nights remind me of night after night after night of our restless, unsetting and ineffective dialogues. Lets just go in circles for a little longer. Why not a little longer? Where do I find someone willing to linger with insanity? Just give me more time. I need a few more moments with real people to feel okay. Let me practice my part with you. Coach me. Tell me what to do next. I'm craving a sense of reality. I trusted you with it. Give it back. Give it to me. Let me have it. Feed it to me. Now.

I kid myself. If you get to know me a bit further I might let you peer at my Dali-esque picture of the present. Wonderland has me descending head first down the rabbit hole. Alice found herself stationary, bruised and filthy with temporary madness years ago. I've kept plunging for decades after and suddenly I'm gaining speed. Momentum, its all about physics. They throw ropes, then yarn, then thread to me. Once again the thread brushed my skin and I found possibility. The sensation of active nerve endings engaged my curiosity. I search for the sort of matter that could interrupt this regression. One faint wonder to what could have been is met by pathetic and pointless conclusions.

You are so associated. Everything and everyone is marked by inclinations. What affects you is the fact that you are now aware of it. You recognize that I see something different in you. I see something unusual. I see a habit. Nouns are consistently becoming verbs. You are not beneficial to this at all. I allowed you to be my unhealthy. I linked you to infection. Is that why I need you so badly? Is that why I want you back? You gave me composure from your expectations.You raised questions and I gave you the appropriate answers conjured from my ideals. I store a list of rules that are rarely followed. I let you in on every ***** secret so I had to abide by constructs of sickness. I had no other choice.

Will I ever be able to do this? If this is me and I am me forever who will swallow it? Who will take responsibility for my downfalls? Faults that are too confusing for explanation are menacingly sweet if you hold inquisitiveness, in place of a heart, on your sleeve. I can't understand. You can't understand. There is no more on and off switch somewhere in a dark basement. I'm not twelve anymore. I can't blame mommy and daddy. Its all my fault. I got myself here. It's my transgression. Don't you dare blame them. Recognize my liability. I ****** up this time but I found an oddity; I found perfection in this imperfection. It's something of a conundrum.

Computer science is fruitless thinking. I AM NOT A MACHINE. I am not a computer, not a mechanism, not a problem. I am not a riddle to solve. I am contradiction in every sense of the term. Its broken, shattered and pieces have gone missing. They were outdated and oppressive. They were thrown out, burned, buried, and forgotten. Once treasured, they became cumbersome and then dropped along the way. With them, logic vanished beneath my feet. Its gone now. I'm gone now.

Weightlessness necessitates a higher being than the imperfect human. It requires me to remain underwater, letting go of the compulsion to meet the surface for air. These ancient seas compel me and draw me further down with their loveliness and passion. I am mesmerized by the mania involved. You won't spot me in the engrossing waters. The black surface holds many afflictions.

RUN. FAST.
weaver Nov 2013
Today is Tuesday, November 19th, 2013. And I want to talk about you. I want to talk about the clenching and fizzing in my stomach right now as I imagine wrapping you up in my arms and having you close again. I want to talk about the ache in my chest when I think about how it's been ninety days since I last kissed you, since the day I saw you cry as I let you slowly drop from my arms, then hands, then fingertips, and drove away, looking out the window to see you let your head fall into your hands. It's been ninety days since I sat on the floor of the airport and felt my entire being rebelling against getting on that plane and recrossing the thousands of miles that separate us. I want to talk about how I tuck those thoughts away and instead smile as I think of giving you piggyback rides through the park, and kissing in front of churches, and diving into cold pools, and touching you softly as we lay unclothed in your bed, and laughing so hard at your jokes that I'm sure I'm making a fool of myself.

I want to talk about you. I want to talk about you and me. I want to talk about you with me. I want to talk about how you say things that stop me in my tracks and make me reevaluate the truth. I know you, but I can never quite predict your opinions or reactions. You surprise me in this really heart stopping, sometimes refreshing, sometimes eerie way.

I want to talk about how beautiful you are, god, let me please talk about this. Your mind is an intricate, thrumming place that I love to get inside and peek in its dusty corners. I'll try not to leave fingerprints, but I hope you'll forgive me if I do. I think I'm the first person to see some of these places, and I respect them with a reverence. And your heart, your heart... it's an open space that fluctuates and adjusts around me. I know it's learning how to make me fit, but considering that, I'm very comfortable here. It's not a maze, not a grand palace, but not run down either. It's warm in here, slightly musty in the back rooms but in a nice way, while the front is breezy. It's cryptic at first, it's easy to question where one is when first entering. But it has an essence so very you that it's impossible to lose your way completely. I've wandered enough to memorize some of the walls and walk around with a timid freedom. I don't think I would ever dare stride through with arrogance, but I hope to gain confidence the more I explore. Your outside is just as breathtaking. Sometimes I look at the pictures of us together and I stare at your face like it's a puzzle I can solve, because you are indeed the prettiest girl I have ever seen and it astonishes me that yes - you are real. You have this smile that I try to coax out as much as possible, and eyes that are pleasant and warm. Have I told you how much I've always loved brown eyes? It's a colour that suits your irises, that suits you. The image I get when I imagine looking into your eyes is that of wrapped up in soft blankets in a field at dusk. You have beautiful hair that you love to complain about, but I am forever adoring of how it sticks every which way and makes you look - yeah, I'm going to say it - pretty **** cool. Your body is fit and perfect and I'll tell you again, I am so, so jealous. Shadows reach around you to try and feel your shape, rain trickles across your smooth skin to try and kiss as much as it can reach. And when your body tangles with mine, it's magic. You are warm and soft and my fingertips can't help but want to trace a map over you, pressing into their favorite places and trailing across your frame as lightly as a sigh. Your voice, if I had to pick, is the thing that best represents you. Its most frequent setting is this strong, hardy tone that gets your point across with as much bluntness as the words you choose. When you're sleepy it becomes soft and drawling and muffled. When you have to act professional, it heightens and becomes cheery and sweet. When you're touched, it turns lovely and breathy and exquisitely feminine. You are embodied by these sides of you, and there's more I'm yet to hear and learn from it. All of it is beautiful in a way so uniquely you that I smile just in Knowing.

I want to talk about knowing you. I've always wanted just to know you, from the day we met. That was the prevailing thought: How to Know You. Now every day I am given glimpses into you, and every day I'll know a little more, and I couldn't be happier.

I want to talk about you. I want to talk about how much I love you. I love you the way lights love to pool on the sidewalk. I love you the way ink loves the abstract. I love you the way sand loves seashells. I love you the way trees love sunlight. I love you the way airplanes love the sky. I love you with a ferocity and a tenderness and an affection it halts the motion of the world for moments at a time. You bring words and metaphors to mind in a way no inspiration could, and the next second you stop all thought dead and leave my head buzzing pleasantly empty. I used to refuse to write of love; now my hands know of little else. You've changed me, profoundly, intensely. What did I spend my thoughts on before? Now, I just want to talk about you.
i know this is prose, not a poem, but i wanted to share it here anyway. it's freshly written and minimally edited, and i was so happy writing it i could melt. hope some of you like it enough to get through all of it.

twitter.com/cunningweaver
Sapien Jul 2017
There comes a point in your life when you dont understand what will happen the very next moment. When every single second astonishes you, when every other happening around you makes you question everything that you have ever done, every decision that you ever took, every path you ever choose, each word that you ever uttered. When there is darkness all around you and no hope of light. When all the motivational quotes of "finding a ray of light; hope, at the end of the tunnel", becomes as fictional as the world of potter.
But we still wait, yet we search for that fictitious light everytime, every second, every moment. Do you know why?
Because nothing in this world is stronger than your wishes, your passion, and your desire to get something that you want.
Believe in yourself and you will find your hogwarts one day.
Thandiwe Apr 2017
I have yet to see the full wonder of God.
Like a big, colourful butterfly... with each flap of its wings a new colour is revealed.
I'm amazed and in awe. Words fail to capture what rests in my heart.
With every thought, my heart smiles and swells with excitement.
To know that this God I hear about... knows me loves me and created me.
Me. Thandi. Weird and awkward... He still sees me and calls for me. Pursues me and astonishes me with His mystery.
I'm amazed that I am His child and that He actually wants the best for me.
Where have I been this entire time... away from this truth?
Where have I been looking, what have I been searching for because I'm overwhelmed by this truth.
It has grabbed my heart and captured my spirit... to remember exactly who Jesus is and what He did for me.
What the scriptures say resound the heart of Jesus and I'm so excited to know Him.
I am too happy to know Jesus.
I can't believe I could've missed this unspeakable joy. This freedom, this victory.
What have I been looking for? A genie in a box, a saviour chilling at a street corner,  a make-believe god who is powerless?
What have been waiting for, hoping in, praying for?
Now I see, now I know... there is no other place my soul would rather be.
Nothing the world gives compares to this.
I walk to my work, says Senlin, along a street
Superbly hung in space.
I lift these mortal stones, and with my trowel
I tap them into place.
But is god, perhaps, a giant who ties his tie
Grimacing before a colossal glass of sky?
These stones are heavy, these stones decay,
These stones are wet with rain,
I build them into a wall today,
Tomorrow they fall again.
Does god arise from a chaos of starless sleep,
Rise from the dark and stretch his arms and yawn;
And drowsily look from the window at his garden;
And rejoice at the dewdrop sparkeling on his lawn?
Does he remember, suddenly, with amazement,
The yesterday he left in sleep,--his name,--
Or the glittering street superbly hung in wind
Along which, in the dusk, he slowly came?
I devise new patterns for laying stones
And build a stronger wall.
One drop of rain astonishes me
And I let my trowel fall.
The flashing of leaves delights my eyes,
Blue air delights my face;
I will dedicate this stone to god
And tap it into its place.
S Aug 2013
She wonders who she really is.

To her parents, she is the "reliable child",
while her brother was off doing bath salts and fighting the "greater enemy",
she was at home reading books and tending to their every beckoning need,
with a smile plastered to her nimble face,
causing her features to slowly turn into a mask of perfection,
only to hide her yearning to escape,
and to taste the alcohol under the kitchen counter.

To her husband, she is the woman of his dreams,
with a graceful charm and a impeccable body,
she is the angle that awoke him from his long eternal slumber of loneliness,
and the one that is the biggest supporter of his dreams.
He never wonders if she does not love him as much as her loves her,
but the scrabble of her footsteps leaving the bedroom every-night,
are starting to weigh on his thought process.

To her work, she is the most valuable member of the team,
the one who always has the files organized by client last name in alphabetical order,
who can rattle off statistics and coffee orders as if they were the facts she learned in grade school,
and who always gives the best toasts at the yearly Christmas office party,
dressed perfectly with the smile frozen onto her face.
Little do they know, she has panic attacks in the bathroom between conference calls.

What astonishes me the most is when she needs a person to help her,
how all the people in her vicinity abruptly vanish,
and how she is able to blend in with the dark walls and floors,
and be completely out of sight.

She is the chameleon.
Josef Wilhelm Dec 2011
Test my patience for I am invincible.
Stand over me like a dark hollow tree.
My independence astonishes your judgement,
yet your heart grows weary.
Don't push too hard or the ground may crumble beneath your feet.
Your influence was a guiding wind in my life,
but now I'm everlasting.
So don't forget I can climb mountains and swim the oceans,
you have no control.
For I am my own keeper and you..
Eternally forgotten.
Blank Nov 2015
When I'm listening to music
Sometimes I think of the artist
Sometimes I forget they are real
That they exist as part of the same world I do
But I soon snap out of that trance
It astonishes me that they are real
It astonishes me that I'm even surprised by this fact
Sometimes common sense
And common knowledge
Is fleeting to me
But only during rare moments
Only when I'm caught up in my own life
Or the life of a fictional character
Living in a fictional world
Most of my poems thus far have just been my raw emotions and teenage angst being let out, but I like this one because it's more of a contemplation! (Can you tell I'm in a good mood? Obviously a rhetorical question lol) ^^
Keenan Akeem Feb 2013
Looking down at the ground, the scenery is so serene
Can you believe that were so far up, feels like I can touch the clouds
In the sky, why is it that life couldn’t be like this
A ride in the sky, this day that I’ll will miss.
Reminisce on all the good things in the past
Moments that you’ll never forget
Your first bike ride, your first date, and even your first kiss
Growing up I never knew that you’ll turn out to be like this
So graceful, your intellect astonishes any man with just
The simple peck of your lips, the fluency in your speech
Is so sweet, wedding bells started to ring.
Now as we sit down and ponder, and wonder on how we feel.
I ask you this simple question,
Will you take this ride with me?
Spencer Kilpat Dec 2012
Get to know me.

It’s my most illustrious goal. Feel me, be me. I am you. I have felt and continue to inspire. I am the flicker of flames, torching the atmosphere. Raw. Consuming. Effervescent. Touch me. Be warmed. Be amazed. Be in awe.

My soul cries for understanding. Give me the rhythms of Glass, the complicated interflow of melodies, harmonies that make me sick, that give me wings. I stretch my hands, close my eyes and Listen. Don’t miss this.

Ears. Deaf ears. Be quiet for once. Hear. Hear. Be still and Hear. Nothing you will ever amount to could last as long as this legacy. It communicates without stroke, it astonishes without brush, it intrigues without etch, commanding what the eyes cannot see, what the nose cannot smell, what the hand cannot feel. Thus is the glory of song.

Open your ears, study! Lords are speaking to you. We are their medium of communication.

I sit quietly, enveloped in sound, and as my heart stirs, I’m filled with reflective urgency. As if I must abandon everything and go somewhere, but where? NOW! And yet, I’m immobilized by its warmth… yearning for release.

I’m reminded of the happiest times I’ve shared in my life, and for this reason I listen with respectful awareness of its toxicity. It is both addictive and hateful. Never failing to transport my very being to memories of love, comfort and peace.

And yet… it’s bitter. These are the memories of experiences I thought I once mastered. And as I listen to its echoes I am burdened to re-live the loss, the awakening once again, forever.

I awake to see that all is not what it seemed to be. My world is harsh, rash, skeptical: but absolutely never all the way real.

Hm, a dream.  And always knew it. Deep down I knew and still I stifle instinct, ******* experience, and choke doubt. It is mine and I use it to fulfill me.

This song is short, but it commands deep within me feelings of such a range of love and devotion that I’m left frightened, exhausted, void. Could I have had that much to give?   Yes.

Let the sounds live through you, and as your heart stirs, know that you are human.

Begin to listen, begin to hear. This lamentation begs for empathy, so rejoice! You are not alone. You are quite human, perfect: alive.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjiUgN0HuPg&feature;=plcp
unnamed Jul 2012
She comes to me, my Guardian Angel
And I apprehend with my little heart shaped
tool of ken, the luminosity of the Source
Crashes through the aurora into the
Stratosphere and she is near here supposing
the infinite beginning
All over again
an integrity, bright  white light
Without temperature, she says, “Yes,
You are a mortal immortal…”

she demonstrates her
torrid honor, dignity and warm
Fervor always available in her cosmic &
Iridescent timetable, her dispatch of
Provisions astonishes my worry,

I call her Miss
Instance immemorial,  
She warns of the fans of death and the boon
cosmos encompassing the faithful
The synchronicities she broke apart
And mended, to inseminate the nick of
Time with God-seeds sown into my heart-
she gave me love engulfing time…
Brittany Leigh May 2013
It astonishes me to consider
The thousand thousand trials and triumphs
that had to be part of our paths
To ensure we'd walk together
but the consideration is fleeting
As nothing in the past carries much relevance now
Scars have healed or been forgotten
Remembered slights and grudges have been summarily dismissed
Even the glow of nostalgia has been cooled to embers
All has been relinquished to the before times
Warranting only an occasional quick perusal
A momentary revisitation of prior life
Soon to be left in the past
Excepting the recognition that everything aligned
To lead my present tense to you
Her elegant gaze
astonishes
the wicked souls
of desire.  

Her simplicity
transcends
the beauty
of a goddess.

And yet
she offers
her nakedness.

Not her body
but her
authentic soul
for me to write on.
I wrote this poem to feed the notion that simplicity beats perfection.
Luis Mdáhuar Mar 2016
I never associate the plane with a hammock
The interest of my belly wins over any such
Discussion which might inevitably turn into sorrow
But, and I speak only for the asphalt, will
Innegably show disrespect to the other functions of the brain
Which astonishes me when it wants to sleep or take an independent
Walk
through the staircase of your lap
But if your lap denies the welcoming blood
Think of the shadow preserving human thought
And immediately
Imprudently all cities might fall inspite of all false pretexts
                 your leg is the salvation of man and his cubic head
You are me in the belief of nothing but pleasure
Of the heart and eyes, of the polished sword
Of the mighty octopus clinging to your mare
Of a highly anticipated degree of fresh air
Liberty draws attempts to carry all carcasses
Like a candle
Or a pill to sleep.
No
Scott Shaffer Jan 2015
Your beauty astonishes me.
You're the sweetest and prettiest thing I've ever seen.
Astonished at your love and affection,
I call you the personification of perfection.
A being of dreams,
Woven by them, but invisible are your seams.
Because you're title of perfection.
I can't sleep because of the beauty you show.
That smile you flaunt and taunt,
Haunts me when I can dream.
Set my soul free, my fair queen.
Love is my religion

Its what I do best

Its the hunger that invades me

Its what knows me best

Grabs me by my inner soul

Holds me tight wont let me go

The strength is has astonishes me so

You cant hold it inside your hands

Or put it on a shelf to admire

Its subtle yet strong

Sometimes may be wrong

But its what I do and where I belong
I REALLY May 2019
my mom calls me fat
she has been for a long time
but what astonishes me
is that she has the courage
to tell me
that her father called her fat
too
Is reality a myth?
Or a sorcery unleashed?

Is it a mirage waiting to be divulged?
Or simply a muse?

Is it a hallucination?
Or a mystery unsolved?

Is it a miracle which astonishes us?
Or a semblance?

Is it a fiction?
Or a trick to deviate us?
#decodingreality #whatisit #reality
nic Apr 2018
free as a bird with such a clarity
followed by darkness, is this insanity?
not feeling loved, not feeling wanted
by thoughtconstructions and selfpitty you feel haunted
feeling like paying a visit back to the old days
should one put the middlefinger back up, wait even better, light a couple of jays?
thats what the mind is figuring. just destruction and pain
it feels so crazy one could follow that voice its so insane
yet human conciousness has been identifying with that voice for so long
the human bond to it feels so strong

i follow all this yet i feel too tired to let go

haha silly me, silly mind
letting go is hard i find
but then the next moment everything just.... just vanishes
you feel perplex, what happened? it astonishes
its quite simple, its the mind that wants to make it complicated
light fills your body again, no more feelings of sufficating
just light, bliss, happiness a kiss from above
well just love..
Clarissa Clark Dec 2010
A mind in conflict
with his spirit
will find judgement,
permanence,
possession,
unreality.
The human spirit
exudes the ultimate power
in the stillness of thought.
A spirit
that cannot discern
between a man from a woman;
a white from a black;
a christian from a jew;
a child from an adult.
The spirit of mankind
is the same breath
within us all.
Intensity of being the spirit
is the only difference.

A spirit
that contains strength,
serenity,
and deftness.
An essence
that can beam through
the windows of our soul
and inspire
with even the faintest glow.
A spirit
that is fully experienced
as a youth;
boundless and ecstatic,
allowing the world
to be the teacher.
Even as a dark cloud
of misery and torment
invade upon the child,
shall the tender age
be optimistic:
living out the human essence.
Only until
confusion and pain
catch up to the learned action
of mind chatter,
will the growing heart
turn cold.

Yet,
this spirit
still dwells within.
Even as rage and hatred
poison the body
and earth,
the human spirit
still lingers underneath
the layers of unconsciousness.
With the magnitude
of the spirit's power
still intact,
this entity
will sometimes break
through the mind
and into the heart.
A sense of immediate presence
that astonishes the being,
if only to entrance
for but a moment.
In those moments
of acute stillness,
a perverted human
finds peace.
A bliss so deep,
and so vast,
this state of being
surpasses any written language;
a happiness
that surpasses
any emotion
that could be felt
in the pleasures
of society.

To sense your essence
is one aspect,
but to sense the essence
of others
and the universe
is a completely different state.
A state that bounds you
to the impermanence of life.
A wholeness
that is realized;
an interrelated connection
between the influence
of your own action
and the entire universe.
And this essence
is within us all!

We can choose
to live the essence,
or to impugn it's presence.
And many have denied,
not because they disbelieve,
but because they fear
the power they could posses,
the power of the human spirit.
Many tremble
at the thought of responsibility;
at the thought of control
over their own life.
Yet,
those who think
about the power
of the human essence,
is missing the reality
of what is.
They are missing
the presence
of that power,
that arises
when thought is still.

The human spirit
cannot be grasped
by the intellectual mind,
but only felt.
And in those who feel
their underlying spirit
is a joyfulness
that rivals
with the jubilance of a child.
And those people
are the envy
of the ones who suppress
their inner essence.
But,
what they have yet to realize,
is that they posses
such a solace already.
They merely need to embrace
their human spirit.

For this spirit
is the state of being;
a spirit
that knows no boundaries,
who knows
of no right or wrong.
A spirit
that cannot,
and does not discriminate
a man from a woman;
a white from a black;
a christian from a jew;
a child from an adult;
one life from another,
for all lives are precious.

A spirit that can cease
the inner wars,
and bring about
an eternal peace.
If the inner wars
still wage,
the outer wars
will too.
Bringing harmony
to the strife
of unconsciousness within,
will bring harmony
to the unconsciousness without.
Realize
and live
your human spirit,
for the peace
that is your essence,
will bring amity
and union
to ourselves
and to the world.

The spirit of mankind
is the same breath
within us all.
Don't fear your power,
embrace it.
- From Poems of the Earth, Love, and Truth.
Boris Cho Oct 15
To my sister, you have been a constant source of support and inspiration. You took on the role of a caretaker when we were still children ourselves, guiding us through challenges that were far beyond what anyone your age should have faced. It astonishes me that you are only a year and a half older than I am; I have always seen you as a pillar of strength and wisdom. Your sacrifices, often unnoticed, were made to help our parents navigate their new life, and your resilience has shaped who I am today. You have shown what it means to be nurturing, patient, and compassionate, qualities I aspire to instill in my own daughter. I honor you for the strength and values you have passed on to me and our brother.

To my sister-in-law, the little sister I never had, I feel fortunate to have you in my life. Your love and loyalty to my brother are a reflection of the strong bond we share. You truly embody what it means to be a family member. The comfort and joy you bring to him speak volumes about the remarkable woman you are. Over the years, I have admired your growth and dedication to your craft, which continually inspires me. Your creativity and commitment to building a life filled with love and purpose are qualities I deeply respect. My daughter looks up to you, and it’s easy to see why; you set a wonderful example for her. I honor you through my appreciation of your generosity and your determination to excel.

To my mother, thank you for doing your best with what you had. I know it wasn’t easy moving to a new country with little to offer, and you aspired to give us more than you received. Our relationship had its challenges; we often struggled to communicate our feelings, but I recognize the sacrifices you made for our family. Your resilience and work ethic taught me the value of perseverance. Despite our limited means, you always found a way to share what little you had, and those small gestures have meant everything to me. I honor you by working hard and being grateful for what I have, rather than focusing on what I lack.

To my daughter, you are the center of my world. From the moment I first saw you, my perspective on life shifted. You have shown me the kind of father I aspire to be; protective, supportive, and nurturing. Your kindness, curiosity, and empathy remind me of what truly matters in life. I hope you always hold on to these qualities as you grow. You inspire me daily to strive for personal growth and to become the best version of myself. Each day spent together is a gift, and I am grateful to be your father. I honor you by making choices that lead to a healthy and hopeful future, always encouraging you to dream big and pursue your passions. You will always be my daughter, and I will always be here to support you.



Strength in the silence, fierce hearts that ignite,
With patience and wisdom, they claim their birthright.
Determined and bold, with compassion that’s deep,
In the bonds of sisterhood, their spirits leap.

They rise unyielding, with voices that soar,
Breaking the barriers, demanding much more.
With kindness and courage, they stand side by side,
United in purpose, their spirits our guide.

In their grace and their grit, they find our own might,
Together they flourish, igniting the light.

— Sincerely, Boris
Ashley Dewicki Jun 2018
What is a little sister?

She is placed in your tiny arms after nine months of waiting,

and at the age of two and a half, you don’t think your tiny body can support the weight of her future.

She receives all the attention you were once showered with.

She’s your real-life baby doll, but mommy says this one’s much more fragile.

She is so soft but also kinda fuzzy on top. You never thought anything could be smaller than you.

She’s always the servant when you play princess, or the baby when you play house.

She’s mistaken for your twin all the time.

She falls down and scraps her knee,

and when mommy’s not around, you’re there to dust off the dirt.

She learns so much from you. You realize you have to teach her right from wrong.

She looks up to you.

She wants to be just like her big sister.

She won’t stop following you around. You wish she’d leave you and your friends alone.

She cries because you say you don’t want to play baby games anymore, you’re much too mature for that.

She’s distraught because she feels like she’s losing her friend.

You fight constantly. Lots of

Kicking.

Hair pulling.

Screaming.

But,

she always comes back.

She says you’re her best friend.

She doesn’t get mistaken as your twin now, but you know on the inside you’re identical.

She takes your clothes without asking.

She still does your bidding even though you haven’t played princess in years.

She asks you what to wear because your fashion sense is superior.

She sits patiently as you do her makeup for all the high school dances.

She cries because her homework is sometimes too much to handle.

She feels like the weight of the world is on her shoulders.

She is expected to do so much she couldn’t possibly succeed.

She gets sick a lot and you wonder how after 18 years she could still be so fragile.

She laughs at all your dumb jokes that no one else would understand.

She looks out into the crowd of people as she moves her tassel from right to left.

She never thought she’d make it this far. But you knew.

You hold back melancholy tears.

Your baby sister isn’t a baby anymore.

She’s becoming your role model.

She astonishes you every day with her kindness, creativity, and grace.

She’s the moon to your sun.

She’s your life-long best friend.

She’ll stay with you until the very end.

Caitlin,

I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished, but don’t stop now. Your whole life is waiting for you. You must let yourself be open to all its possibilities. A wise person once said that, “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” So, set sail on your next adventure. And remember, I’ll always be waiting for you at the shore. Never be scared, because you will always have your big sis to lean back on.

Love,

Your Sun ☀️
Rachid Oulamine Nov 2017
I exist in two places,
Here and where thou art,
For the spirit is chained to thee,
For the mind is tied and so is the heart,
And I really feel existent only nearby thee.
Thou art the art,
That verily astonishes,
Whoever walks past thee.
Thy being hath heavenly nature,
The like of which never hast I eyed.
That's the bewitching mystery of thine.

#Rachid #Oulamine
Mr Passerby Feb 2018
God of joy, freedom and sweet love of mine
I admire you, ye how so divine
Locked up in a tower away from the eternal blessings
Never has the forbidden fruit look so pleasing

Nothing in life I had ever want more
Than to be free of the world's sorrow
Should this life not suffice, I will pursue you more
Until I firmly have you in my hold

Three wishes I have, I hope you grant
And I'll follow you until my life goes faint!
I sacrificed everything for my three wishes
My will, my passion, it astonishes

Long last, I am out of the tower
Only to be bound as a follower
God of joy, freedom, and sweet love of mine
I admire you, ye how so divine!

Journey so long and so vicious
I traveled east by route of west, how victorious!
This is a story about a character wanting joy, freedom and love. He was unable to achieve any of this. He sacrificed everything he had to gain these three wishes, even his life. But because he pledged everything for his wishes, he remains nothing more than what he was before.
Rachel Jul 2017
THEY SAID
SHE WAS BLIND
— ED by the virility in his skin,
lit and scorched by Midas himself

THAT
SHE CHOKED
on his nobility,
plumes of swindled words,
even though what she saw was
pure sweetness of a plum

carved and full, heavy
all light and divinity
glorious soul from the Heaven's
tied to hers

though at the end of the day
what she came to understand was
— THEY WERE RIGHT

BECAUSE YOU LIED
STUBBORN RESISTANT ME ALL ROSE-TINTED AND POLISHED
YOU
MY BONES MOANED AND SHOOK
PETRIFIED
TO REACH OUT
TO SEARCH FOR —
ANYTHING, SOMETHING!

It astonishes me how I once let you touch my skin.
Paul House May 2018
Fending off scrubland and bare, blue mountain
Logroño huddles in a heap and appears to slide
Almost lazily away from the slow-moving river.
Originality created and arranged easily
By the gloom trapped inside each filthy passage.
Garbage piles against *****, brown walls,
Crammed together and splintering in the sun.
And now and again a scrap of paper
Will fill huge as a sail and deny these still
October nights with a careless movement,
******, obtrusive and far too sudden,
Like the iron bridge which astonishes the dark
With such bright lights and emptiness, asking
For the beige mac, the turned-up collar and trilby,
The mysterious meeting, the garbled message,
When there is only me and the stone Roman bridge,
Illuminated and from another time.
The road from Santiago and the sandalled
Pilgrim loaded down with belief are no more than
A thing remembered or to wish for. But still,
High above the town, the twin Baroque towers
Of the cathedral resist change, insist on
More than a casual glance as I stand here now,
Balconied above the square, safe with French songs,
Edith Piaf and my cultivated tongue
Which nobody understands, and their so strange
Words which I try to learn, and don’t.
Then suddenly to see you simply among
These narrow streets and crowds of people,
Long boots and beautiful, is more than enough
To recall something bright in life after all.
Fifteen days, no. Maybe five weeks. I've been observing a pattern inside my mind for the last five weeks. Things are unstably stable. I'm running with the chaos, but I'm loving it. Because I can still find paucity lurking around the shadows of chaos. It is almost like living my life to its fullest. 

This is what the pattern is for one, two, three and four days.  And the fifth day, boom! The bomb explodes, but it isn't loud. If you were standing beside me, you wouldn't hear anything except the casual Hi! and How are you? and I am fine, Please be okay, you kind soul.  Inside, it's a hurricane. A hurricane. I've never thought much about hurricanes until I experienced one every five days. And on a separate note, you never know about things and feelings as clearly as you do untill you've experienced them. Obvious, but worth taking the time to think about. There's a thing that cracks me up sometimes 'how when we're stuck, how when we need a solution, and how when we come up with one' it is completely spontaneous and obvious, if we come to think of it. But then again, it is not obvious, because if it were obvious, everyone would have thought about it, wouldn't they? Maybe we're too lazy to think about it. 

I've been pondering about things that never mattered to me, you see. So some change is bound to take place. But I'm finding it hard to sieve situations like these into discrete "goods"and "not-so-goods."  The air does not carry the smell of uncertainty these days. Things are definitely changing, and my perspective towards change is changing as well. But again, is it good, or bad? I shall know soon. 

 The air around me isn't perfectly circular when I say it has a diameter of sixty centimetres, but when I think about it, it isn't irregular as well. And when I think even more about it, it just doesn't have a shape! I have assumed it to be a circle.  There's no such thing as the air around me! It's the metaphors.  Metaphors. Though unreal, yet used to describe the reality. A paradox, maybe? Who cares as long as I'm able to convey what I actually feel?  

And of course, if the reader, yes, you my friend, have pulled it till here. Man. Who are you? And why are you even reading this? Do you want to know me from my writings? My character? Who I actually am? You won't know. 

Dear reader, even I don't know how much I reveal myself in these writings. Yet I still do. And honestly, I don't care. Dear reader, you should know that you're not going to be the one I would cross my eyes with when I roam around in the free space five hundred meters from my house. So technically, you're just a reader. Read, think, discuss and forget. That's your job. Leave the job of overthinking to me.

(P.S dear reader, you still here? And if you are, stay. And get out of here this very moment, if you couldn't bare me still here because things are about to get messy)   

Songs. Perhaps the only constant that remains in my life after the books and the two people who created me. There's a funny thing about you: I don't know anything about you except a few words that you make me utter in a singsong. Yet you know so much about me. But you know nothing about me except what I feel when I sing to you. Then again, the fact that you know so much about what and how I feel astonishes me. But nothing makes me more flabbergasted than the fact that you're not living. 

Ah, game of life. (This is the part you'd want to pretend that you saw me grinning when I did not.) 

Then comes an important part of songs, that makes us, the social (and not so social) beings crave for- being relatable.  A few lines and you go, "ooh! Ahh! That hurts. My heart! Somebody save me. Why is this so relatable?" and then you get all emotional when you find a song that describes exactly what you feel, acting like a preschool kid who found his lost toy. That smile. The tears. Ooh la la. Look at you now! 

But then again, you realise that you're just distracting yourself from the reality.  

"It does not matter", you say, I repeat, "it does not matter."  I'm finding joy, escaping from the reality for sometime, won't you let me keep my mind away from my sorrowful, utterly depressing and 'pouches of grief' filled life? You want me to slit my neck, or wrist and let the blood bleed? And die?"

No. I don't want you to do any of it.   

What is wrong with the reality y'all? It's the reality. The reality. Take a moment to sit on the fact that you're made up of dead things.   You've been living all your life here. Just accept it, even when it hurts. Stop being a hopelessly romantic person, someone heartbroken, depressed and whatever negative emotions you have in your dictionary.  

(For those of you who're heartbroken. I know it hurts even though I haven't experienced one. But hey, a single, small snap from your lover saying, "you know what? Let's just break up" shouldn't lead you to stop living your life. Your mama beared you for nine months and kept you protected. Now you wanna die or stay worthless because of just one person who thought you weren't worthy of their love? That's not fair, if you come to think of it) 

And I'm not one of those who you call
"A motivational writer who would open your eyes to the horizon and make you forget about the twilight shadows of your existence and live your life " Nope. Motivation is a piece of crap, if you ask me. 

I'm not telling you to be sad, I'm not telling you to be unrealistically happy or act like a ******. I'm telling you to breathe. Smile when the time comes, and cry when the time comes. Balance.  Get over the moment when it passes away.  

I'm telling you to live, even when you're climbing the hill, even when you're falling down, even when you get hurt, even when you question why you're climbing the mountain.    I want you to live. Breathe.   
the handle of the screen door

i grab hold as the sun set tries to hide

mischievously laughing ...almost infantile

the shadows join in
with peeks and the boos...

their darkness anything but frightening

as i enter my home
summer's reflection astonishes me


awe me..
reflections off of anything that shimmers

the sun plays for the last time this day

i draw my curtains on another day...

the only light allowed is light that i control

my feet now slide and slip on the showers suds

an owl now asks ,WHO is listening to its own idle chatter

by the wolf howling moonlight,

WHO is merely assumptions

crickets sing almost to fill the void of any silence

i awaken with a lullaby by birds...
birds that coo and ease my ill fading soul...

the song i yearn when i grab the handle of the screen door
Uma natarajan Jul 2021
When I take a leisurely walk usually at night
Surrounded by illuminated path that fills my heart in delight
Every where it appears as if bathed in ivory moonlight
Cool breeze whispers, brushing my thoughts and its scintillating touch elevates
The fragrance of 'queen of night' flowers enraptures and alineates
Stupendous sound of flowing stream at the back of my house astonishes
I feel so blessed at the splendour of my shelter
Which entices to feel its warmth and my energetic spirit never alters

— The End —