If you could, would you
Trade all these words
For the peace of mind
That you never got

If you could, would you
Wipe off all your memories,
scars and lessons
And restart

if you could, would you
Let the heart give away its last beat
To some goodbye
You think should never exist

As to what I would do
I am not so sure
All I can do is sit and ponder
What might have happened

If I had chosen to let you go
When I still had it in me

It fills me up with fury
A cold and silent rage
That spills out only from my eyes
And now onto this page

The anger is not because of her
Nor is it because of you
It's simply because you have a past
That makes the hate seep through

I should look at the present
And the future we have ahead
Forget the ghosts we both have
Dwell on us instead

If it were up to me,
I'd be more than a composer..
I'd be a musical conductor,
The night stars would be an orchestra
To us all.

If it were up to me,
I'd be less of a coward,
I'd be someone you'd be proud of,
I'd write a poem so beautiful that the world might just change...

But it's hard to feel this hope all alone..
It's hard to turn the waves from our home
its hard to turn my thoughts, into poems
And it's hard to be in love, on my own
Would you let me give you all the flowers I have grown?

Could I show you all the magic I've been shown?

If it were up to me,
I'd be on my way now
I'd be a busker by the bay now
I'd be a writer, still falling hard

If it were up to me,
I'd be less of a student, and more a teacher..
I'd be a doer, not a dreamer
I'd be iconic without needing a broken heart...

Oh it's hard to hear stories, from those around
It's hard to hear that everyone's, been knocked down..
It's hard to promise that things, could still look up..

See it's hard to give up,
When all I want is to be a Giver...

A giver of hope, songs and love.

I'm not very good at anything
Though I am a perfectionist
Finding myself below the best
In everything I do
I tell myself I don't need the satisfaction of Others
And that is the most substantial lie
I have ever told

Each day my scars grow lighter and my heart grows stronger and I grow a little fonder of myself.

Each day I smile a little more and cry a little less and I grow a little fonder of others.

Each day the thoughts begin to ease and my strength begins to swell and I grow a little more confident in myself.

And the people start to stay, my emotions lessen their sway and I grow a little more confident in others.

It's all becoming easier and you promised it would too, now there's a happier me each and every day.

Queen sized beds are dumb
My queen isn't here tonight
So it's just a bed

In search of your warmth
This bed stretches forever
So much for my rest.