V Anne

V Anne Apr 2017

Sharpie

How many times
Can I draw on my arms
With sharpie
To prevent me
From hurting myself?

I've found new ways
To induce pain.

I smoke.
I drink too much.
I search for love in others
Who want nothing to do with me.

These black lines
Along my forearms
Do not shield me from pain
Like I wished they would.

They only mask
My fear.

#marker #self #harm #trigger #drinking #love #pain #hate #hurt #doodle #drawing #smoke

V Anne Apr 2017

An ending

Did you know that I've
Written love poems
About you?

That I've dreamed and fantasized
And everything felt real
And good

And you were real
And good
But you were no different
Than the others --

The heartbreakers
The betrayers
The hurt and the ache.

Darling you are so unaware
Of the effect you have on me

I was cast under your spell
A light so bright
So pure
That I thought
You wouldn't harm
My fragile heart.

But you did.
You broke it into pieces.

I don't regret you.
I regret what you did.

#love #heartbreak #lonely #regret #pain #hurt #sorrow #pride #isolated

V Anne Apr 2017

my lover's heart

I hate reading love poems
When I am so clearly
Not in love.

I want to be.
And I want to be in love
With you.

Baby if you would only
Let me.

You've already let my soul in,
Now please let my heart in.

#love #soul #poems #plea

V Anne Apr 2017

Easy Reader

When you say
"My friend and I..."

I hear
"My ex lover and I..."

I can read between
The lines
And darling you're such
An easy book to
Read.

I have gut feelings
Signals
Warnings
Of danger and excitement

And I had a gut feeling
That I was going to see
Something unpleasant.

And maybe running into
You and the ex
On the blue line train
Wasn't unpleasant

But it certainly wasn't
A welcomed surprise.

#love #ex #feelings #gay #hurt #romance #train #signals #gut #warnings

V Anne Mar 2017

Post show drink

I came into this bar for a drink.
I hope the flowers I gave you smell sweet.
They are white
Pure
Like you.

I hope you begin
To view me

As I view you.

Please want me back.

I only came into this bar for a drink.
But it isn't helping me
Like I thought it would.

*Please want me back.

#love #hope #flowers #sweet #drink #pure #innocence #drinking

V Anne Mar 2017

Addiction so sweet....

I am drinking away your memory.
I sat outside your old window
The frosted glass
That made us feel
Like we were in our own
World
Together
You and me

Against everything.

You were my addiction.
A force so powerful
A storm
Uprooting my breath from my lungs

I use cigarettes for that now
A nasty habit you were determined to kick
You've passed it along to me.

I am becoming addicted
To my own sadness
My own self pity

And every part of me is
Drowning.
Is
Burning.

But at least
I'm not crying anymore.

#love #ex #sad #addiction #remember #breakup #cigarettes #drinking #smoking #heartache

Mar 2017

Maya

Blue

My fingertips hold on to the edge
Of our love that is slipping
Slowly into the deep ocean of
Emotion.

Now wave by wave I feel adrift
My body drowning into darkness
My heart filling with the blue.

#love #sadness #valentine