To exist is about harnessing in on, to exist is  narrowing in on your motivation towards what you want to be in the world.

And once you find this feeling and belief inside of you, you'll have whatever it is that you want in this life, which can begin for you in this moment. 🦋

Spirit Led
Our Bodies forget
The Soul Formulates
But cannot forget
When it remembers
The Spirit of it's own creativity

Erasures from a past turning inward
The present is the “as if” the could be of what might have been
It shifted
It changed
A reenactment
of past choices I made

Made me new
A thought
An act of habit
Repeated over time
Became the resolve

To change my life.
That was all I ever needed to
Bring me back down to grounding.

“What will change me cannot do me harm.”

I used to work so hard at love

I’d say things I didn’t want to say
but for some reason
It felt right
I’d look at a man  
And expect him to look back
In my way

I would walk on coals
He tried to make a mad woman out of me
Just so I could take it

Be strong
Stop being so maladaptive I’d say

I was exhausting my truth into something less than
meaning itself
This other version of desperation
A high I could not refuse
But secretly detested  

I was amused
I was excused

I made my fortune and now it’s churning
Like the meltdown of a butter stick emerging out of its cache
The cacophony of life enraptured in its cocoon

Feeling through the infield
unfiltered rays
A new way has come to me

Forever growing
Metamorphosed
in gratitude

Truth is one frame inside the heart of the one who believes and creates all they have to make with what they have to express within all possibilities.
All is possible in the realm of the imaginal act.

Citrus and pine wipe
the slate
The scenery finds me
Living in the screen of space
Precision

Love is lasting
There is little meaning
of relationship in Hollywood

Give me an infusion
Lessons to get out of the way
creates… protection


Ideal
Perfection  
Lights ignited
Deserving and choosing

What is raw, what is true?
Feeling many things at the same time

Love as concept
Manifests in ways that change

Our lives
We aren't expecting
Precision
There are things happening all at once
That is perfection

Aligning like shapes in the universe
Perfectly matched to the other
The reason behind every natural being
Why are they shaped the way they are
Angles in perfection
I love how they get there

Even if things don't always go as planned
You are who you are and I am who I am
We are here

Mounting to the projection
what we need to be
To do more or less of
What might that be?

They happen for a reason
This is perfection
On the journey
Patience
a different kind
This is perfection

Challenges
See what your feeling from your perspective
Pointing things out vs telling me how
To tell
My own story-
Recognizing who I am in this moment
Something you cannot make up for

I take myself out of this concrete reality

I look at people as observations of being

Feeling connected to who we are without performing

Perfection is in the imperfect
Words jumble meanings

Words don't cut the surface
of what I am
Choosing as Expression

This is the beauty
This is the ripening
This is universal

I must dream a long
time in order to act
with grandeur
creates my faith

The dreaming of anything better
first must be nursed in darkness
Transforming into light
Is to know that such a form of love is
borne out of being our own witness..
To the truth of ourselves
of what we are held so capable of
In a sky that shines for a real love unknown at the time it was inside stirring
Waiting to accept its reward
To know someone who takes another’s form; embraces it
For everything they are
Is not afraid to lose it
Because they know...
They’re meant to keep it

The highest form of love there is
Is the highest form of light
I can be and belong.

And I love you for showing me.

God: that I am.

Wisdom
is just
Healed pain

Before sharing any form of message you must first accept and acknowledge:
the inner language of another.

The Exit reads
Perspectives
of combined measure

Living
Dying
Anxiety

Finding the way
Sliding in and out of train cars
Wondering what makes a life less
like battle
Fielding
Towards the new absolute
In an Outside Game

I’m glad to know
In my imminent realization
of the breakdown
The departature is erudite

I won’t be going alone.

For the company I count on is more important

the passing of the months in time
Becomes clarity in the innovative mind
the closing of the bureaucratic disguise
the fault of the common dime
in a denominator
that disappears in the forest swept away
by the inadequacy of nature vs nurture

Unconcerned with the future

The decay of the personal and the collective

Morality is unquestioned
these days
the disintegration of the social fabric of cohesion
the deterioration of the forces that be

The decline of innovative value from one’s drive to make the difference
Is not always enough to survive
That is the end of an age

The way to new health must paint the way to all things imaginable

To try isn't necessarily negative, but it implies an attempt, the possibility of doing something fully.
But to intend to do something and mean it, now that creates a much stronger result, the kind that reveals the inner depth of your vision come to life.

Sometimes you need patience in order to find true happiness and meet your match.
It won’t come fast nor will it come easy, but once you get into flow, it will be worth it.

Undoing every punch
Lock my voice inside a dial tone of conflicting passions
Is it ok to cry?
or should I call?

It’s a curious thing when you let these buried phantoms master you

They reappear and sweep you up
into uncharted territories unknown

As you sit and stare at their ghost of a memory
Reflecting the dimensions of yourself
Smiling happily
knowing you have worked on yourself

Dissecting the luminosity of your youth
Naive innocence
Still there
No faded imagery or idea
too far away to be..
Believed
All is possible
in the mirror
of another world
or so it seems…

Vital

Holistic

Universal

Please me
When I soothe your pain
I will ease your strain
Unconsciously

Trust in the
Profusion

of your insides
Speaking out
Unconditionally
I know

Your health goes further than this certitude

It is reactionary
But precariously
beautiful
To watch  
when you do not expect
The possible
To Manifest its Shine

Now is Forever.

I see the pieces in you that keep you away

Reflecting off your silent speech
The color jade in blue green

Glass stripping innocence

Produces a passion flower flavor dripping  
In my mouth
Taste buds gone raw

I tried to protect a mask
with a sharred imagination

A wild sunspun refraction strips me down in light strips
Light strips
form
laser electric prisms
Turn me inside out

That’s when the light comes on


So let me
Take them off already
Where are you sun?
I want you to know me

I wanted to know you so bad
But the real me saved who you knew

Who you thought you knew when we first met that night

Dark and still
Inside the insides of your filthy car
stark leather streaked
Unfiltered cuts
I was keyed in
My intuition pure  

The front seat
Headlights falsified
F your own self and *******
Until you sink into sinner’s sleep
That’s a lot of hidden pain
to carry inside a heart burning body
Unconscious to the crisp

I thought I knew your words
It was like knowing anybody out there  
A blank page in the book of Proverbs

Bait and switch without the wisdom
But you didn’t know what you brought
Soulless protection to fear
You called
me a scared little girl
Little did you know
I was my own savior

What is it you said I needed?
A so-called enlightenment?
But who knew your darkness wrapped *** magik
Could save vulnerability and attempt to destroy the authentic luxury of me
No. Only fake love in lust can do that
For lust is loss and I’m not gone

Then there was you and me again
That night unveiled me
The unevolved me
Still I knew
I was going to make it out alive

I am here.

By a guarded vision strangling my common sense forgetting the essence of who I am at my core

Lying around in the petals of your embedded promises weeping within

Only a virtue has false power if applied
incorrectly.
Yes I said it. For a virtue is the Truth
And I carve the word. I own it
You never wore them

What does it all mean?
You should start listening to how you examine your past
For you are your demons and not yourself believed to be held in the Glory of God Light is your darkness cloaked in
a dead man plagued by another‘s
mental illness, sickness, unrest
On a bed of poor
Tattooed in your own blood

His name sake runs deeper than the blood on your hands forever
Because he saw me clearly
In my experience through you
There is no You.

I continued to ask myself:
How do I trust a word?
I’m going out of my mind
This can’t be right

As you spoke in snake tongues gone rogue
There was nothing for you here except my sterile wit and huge imagination

Leading, draining, careful precision like
the stairway to heaven
I was consciously moving choosing creating my future
Playing chess with my emotions
Were yours even human?
Stale bread is the answer


I loved and so I became the greatest to build
I am. Because I trusted Him. When I chose to become an understanding of those learned moments of momentary promise
Severed bliss; Nothingness (emptied)
I Never lost reflection

So just leave me the pail
Water dripping over my skin
I am gratified
There is no longing for longevity anymore
There is only me now
Lacquered with the Spirit of enlightened authenticity

Infused with a Spirit that has woken me up!

For what is spiritual peace but a moment in time that feels so ripe and right with goodness and a kind of high (ness) Power to become One with
The threshold runs deep you see

And so does the knowledge
of limitless humility
with a gratuity of acute consciousness  
Awareness is Power
And I am free
To finally live. I am alive and well
Yes
I am.

There is no should in life, but there is always room to feel most alive. You ever have, you’ve ever been before anyone before you.

Inner Power  
I’ve been analyzing inner personal power for years, and yet the only way to grasp it is to feel it happening to you.
It is a striking balance between feeling a relaxed mind at ease with your thoughts and channeling those thoughts into productive action that brings you closer to your goals.

I am self-actualized, fully functioning, creatively alive
Never forget what you have
The glass is never half-empty.

Psychoanalytic theory believes that we all have an evil creature within us
That’s not true.
Some have only decided to nurture that part of themselves as themselves to stay there forever as they call it light.
Claiming not a thing to honor or and nothing to hold; t keep safe in life.

Love, beauty, and appreciation

People who know how to enjoy their lives know how to live their lives and are never a burden to anybody!

My time is the entry to my freedom.

I ask my mind to ask my body to relax into what I truly feel and nurture it immensely.

For I love my life because I have created it; through my choices which my free will has given me.

Through the Universe that equates to all knowingness. I took the risk to believe and stayed with my faith.
And it never let me down.

Say thank you everyday. You will begin to uncover what lies beneath your own surface is the only matter.

With ❤

Eternity reborn

Infinity plays with my mind
In affirmative action
Every day is the vision

My creative flow unstoppable

Eternity reborn

Repeat:

I am the gleam in the golden
The spark in the stone

I am the wave in the kite
The heart of its air

I am the last piece of pie
A sliver of hope

In a world that can’t feel
I keep on
fearless  

I am a fresh page in my book
A property of strength
A witness to life

In the front of its mirror  

I am the one  
that fuels faith in my trust
to move forward and beyond

Keeping up with the Sandbags

Realizing it hurts    
         Allows oneself to find
Eyes just judge
         Courageous
Let me express or leave
         Character in a circle unknown
All attempts to connect    
         Exonerates
Ties my bonds up in string      
         Power exhausted
Empties my cup
         To create and understand
         An identity unknown
Teaches me to trust
my tears  
         Memories uprooted from the ground    
persist
Owning them is living  
          Emblematic emotions make me want to feel needed
          Feel what it feels like  
                 to mourn
         And that’s importance

Stay with the intention  
Is learning to look in the mirror

As a circle emphasizes encouragement
it goes around
And
Builds your fort of security

Seeing the likeness in another
And appreciating it’s quality of same
And different
What is the message you have?
That is acceptance

Love is NOT blind. It is very real and visible. I have embodied it and that is why I realize It is magikal.

You will feel it when it happens.
It will not be disguised. And it certainly will not be capable of passing you by without you knowing.

For there are never tricks, excuses, tactics, begets, mind f*s, complaints, or desperate desires involved in this kind of love game.

It will bring in everything like a fisherman’s net at sea

Though the waves do not catch everything
It is up to you to find what you hold onto
there’s just no other way
And I’m still dancing
Because vulnerability
Is not a science
And self-determination is the essence
Of our peace of mind


The truth of relationship
with ourselves
That helps us to define every other
We develop in our lives

And there will be many
That is the fullness of time, full bodied, to live an embodied life that makes each one of us who we are

To test our range
To enlarge our eye’s vision
To keep to it
And to live for the changes we all have the capacity to engrave in the ways we choose to create
That is the transition to transformation

Knowing what missed me
allows
me the room
to find what is meant
for me.
What is meant is how it unfolds naturally.  

The perfect karma awaits to be unfolded.

Dreaming in Moonshine  
Soaking into songs heard only through  
The vibrations of insect wings  

Breathing in their scented infusions within a double scene inside another unfolding painted image of what appears to be
A still depleting life  

Casting shadows over my restless thoughts of both promise and deceit which constitutes the inner fold of what is love…  
the counterfeit of existence
that lends itself to real
What is real (in my world)?

Coming forth to me
in moments in phases from
within  
the possible  
  
That lingers until the end of pond’s length  containing the infinite drops that continue to fill it up  by the immaculate hand of heaven’s reach  
entrapping the limits   that give shape to such incongruity  

(There  are always limits in the future even though there are so many possible ones in life- even if there are so many possibilities for us to see, to understand, to believe in, and to experience)

Traipsing into waters unknown  
I learn the diligence of the dragonfly who hinges  
on existential wings  

On this journey of trial and error  
I discover freedom wholly through the mystification of my own will and the emancipation of choice
only to be surrounded by the empty court of judgment  


Seeing through buzz eyes  dripping in nectar  
an opalescent tune raises its brow  
to trigger  
The wind, which blows against the tenderness of heart yet calm and  
(flowing) as if through a wand  

swaying in the glory  
that fate whispers in between the spaces of anorexic branches meeting  


How can the iridescence of a sound, of a single word

Press with such kindness and bathe in such grandeur  

I am amazed by the purity; by the simple beauty of this world  


I recall someone telling me that just once in your life do you meet

the one who gives you the belief you never could find


The deep  

stirring  

(surge)

of your spate  

running inside  

the cord of your spine

How is that I am free today?


I wish for immortal meaning :


(self- reproach)  

does not lead to fill me  


Questioning …

but simply knowing  

the stars  


As they look to me  

and choosing not to shine  

on skin  

not even  

into eyes of gold


they look down on me

mocking insecurity  

This is my reality at its core  


As they move  further  
in between their departing  


within a space  

of sky  

do they laugh  

subconsciously  

behind  the falsity

of a perfect smile  

looming  


while the moon just sits up straight  

and smirks beside  

with faint and covered faces

squinting eyes  


Never  hinting

that this could all be just a dream  

Unjust Inside these walls


But I know like a dream they will return  

to keep me company in the mist (of shadows)  

of a nightmare inside  

I’m now in battle
to avoid                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                 


At times I feel slighted  

yet wholly redeemed  

I feel respected  yet abused beyond all things

and sometimes it feels like I’m standing in front of the altar alone

(on the edge of the dock)  

peering down at everybody I’ve ever known  

about to dive in  
to land on slippery greens floating swiftly in between (the ripples)

I feel chosen
Yet  
I feel unseen  

Dispraised for the things I’ve done

feeling no pain

do I fade...

Away  

into the lambent (lucent)mist of efficacy:  

into the Elysian fields of transcendent virtue  


And there do I become everything I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve ever known  

Only knowing that Love's darkest form is that of deceit in the illusion of each day, I am still. But more than that, I am still alive.
Thank you for saving my life.

In the box
I am sworn to secrecy

Petrified
His gaze against the shadows of the bars
has grown so weary
it deflates in fades
Suppressing the entirety of his remorse

‘To him, there seem to be a thousand bars
and back behind those one thousand bars no world’.

The soft
The righteous
The other step
runs away with the breath of space
In a time undefined by reason
In the smallest of shifts and turns, circling
moves like a dance of strength around a core
in which an eccentric
stands upright

In time there remains a question
The faith that transcends
The magic curtain slides
from side to side
soundlessly — He is there.

So many possibilities to be free from the beginning, and uproot the past of burden burgeoning like a flower’s ability to withstand change in unpredictable soil and yet still feel alive.

He expands through the tension
the calmness of limbs — and stems
in the heart which fate prescribes to be a mighty will stood parallel to them.  


Love is intentional and unintentional  decision making
The choosing of a
solidified destiny
A clairvoyant
romantic

Bat wings in my heart
Calm bleeding
Smiling full

This life is my teacher
Take me to a room
without an education please

Put down the book that moves the table and reads the script from my last piece

Not the other way around

Spiritual thinking could describe our destiny, the rest is fate

I’m not here to school you

Death happens
And clutter builds into a false enamel
Eventual decay
If not maintained

Fleeing toxicity is a freedom beyond understanding

Outside the peripheral
grief spins me upside down

The last flower petal remains
With it’s scent forever reminding
me
Of our song
In solitude

When the streets are lit with lamp designs
and Arabian nights alive in the instrumentals
My senses
mystified

The perfect combination

of understanding, compassion, and attention to the details
This is an emotionally available man

Sin is a perception
Redemption; clarity
Pure mist
The clearance of past partners
Leaves my space
To make rooms upon the doors newly turned
for an atmosphere of hope

The written letter as I write:

To my love, I love you with all my being.
For you are everything I asked for when
My mind left me
my consciousness awoke for you to be found by me now in this time
On earth. And that cannot be duplicated.
For I am Gratefully blessed. By you.
To our eternity.
Cheers to our eternity.

I’m with you.

Love is just energy. It’s supposed to flow easily into your life. It’s supposed to be easy, feel good and not feel like something that’s hard for you to obtain, like you have to push yourself to find it or "make it work" for you or another.

It is not anything that should ever stress you out or feel repelled from or repulsed by. That is behavior talking NOT people or real love.

If it does feel hard or difficult to experience then you can believe that there’s a NARRATIVE SHIFT that you have about love that needs more shifting and fine tuning so that you can attract what you choose.

BUT you can only attract what feels right if you feel right with yourself. Be and love who you see yourself as. WELCOME THAT openly and focus on it consistently without fear or worry about others opinions.
Do what SERVES you first! Then it will be that much more flowing towards someone who sincerely strikes your attention.

Love shows you the truth the first time never twice or thereafter.
No more needs to be said.

Love's mysteries in souls do grow; but yet the body is a book.

The butterfly splits in passion
Scenes
Expanding
Contracting
Intimacy


Dancing
A Pregnant  
Exotic

On the wall

I need to see past the parts of shatter
How two humans can be made and not made
For the other
The disturbing distance
Created in a spin of unique difference
When long-standing oppression comes with mixed emotions
Opportunities never came back to me
They’re out there like glowing stars
But they don’t glitter for ones like me
They haven’t been offered yet

I met you in a world apart.
When you couldn’t reach me
I’ve been treated so long
As if I was becoming Insufferable

Fine winding tendrils that once cradled the heart
They say that promises sweeten the growth
But I don’t need this
I don’t need this

I need the sweetness, the mistrust, the kiss goodnight, the beacon light, the distance lost, the softness, the weakness
A Victory sweet
Love of my life

Oh I need this..

I’m a slow dying flower
At a frost biting hour
Slowly becoming untouchable

Do you remember the way
You missed me before
Your face spoke like promises
whispered like prayers

You better stop your mouth
Bite the words
hold your breath
Find your worth
And find yourself
Under my dress
Naked in bed
I love this
Scene
Cut

There is always something on your mind until you train it for what you wish it to be. Security comes from listening to the music, inviting your higher power as
God helps focus and feel love from yourself.

The moment you become your behavior you change the parts of your identity that have been holding you down like water under a glass.

The Other Side

Look through me so that I can see you
naturally
Surprise me
Do not hinder your reveal

I appreciate your humanness

The blood that sings when you think of me in golden evenings

I know.

That you can hear me learning
I feel your brain’s creativity on my spine

That is beauty speaking to the core
Growing one breath at a time
before we meet again

I just want to go where love is alive, not afraid to prove it, where there is no way to lose it. With the currents in check. Yes.

You are what you love, not what loves you.
My soul is the truth.
When I act, when I dance, I feel better.
I know what I need that much more.
My creation is my evolution.

I personally don't believe you have to change fully, but it's not about that, living this life is about changing or adjusting aspects of ourselves to fit the needs and desires of who we choose to be, and to continuously make ourselves better through creating who we can be.

You are doing it and you know I have faith in you. I appreciate that you have helped me realize certain attitudes I have had as well. I have become less afraid to speak your mind. What is meant to be must flow.

Bonds develop differently between people depending on their past life.
But they are malleable and they are shifting.

As a young person feelings are circular

They continue to haunt you until you choose to tap into the nature of a greater being

The trickle of confusion allows my paining heart to sing all the more peacefully

Until you respect yourself
love is blurred by pain and confusion

It is then that I may be redeemed

Resilience is fuel for creative rescripting resulting in unlimited value

Serene and passionate
I am the entity of everything I dream possible
Surreal in the essence of all that is me

I was once told “to demount the white horse of my privilege.”

I was once told that my entire community was primed for prejudice, but that I was still a chosen one.


Let me tell you...

To Become a True Woman of Honor
A combination of both
Is when I saw your true colors when you told me you saw mine.  

Seeing the same people come through the same lens
Born in a different time
A decade apart
Nothing alike
The ultimatum of race and social class stares you in the face and you get hit with its reality bold and clear
Incumbent upon disgust for the other
White and Black
Black and White
They were both doomed
The two asked for my forgiveness
to come back and give them a set of wings
anew
Grasping at desperation
And failing
Except I was not doomed

I became.
Knowledge  
I became.
Faith

I became.
Self-Love

I became.
Hope

I became.
My own truth.

I had to.  
This was the realization.

I am new.

Now for this chapter’s beginning
🦋

It’s been 8 years
As I keep walking down a path that seems to be winding and winding I’ve let all of the memories go.

They do creep up on me sometimes
As they do for all us. That is normal.

And when those moments happen
I recenter myself and know that newness is possible

All that I’ve been asking for is happening right now in this present moment.

As I keep recreating
Every new opportunity
that awaits me
They are here for us
For you

Am I nothing more than a
cemetery’s contradiction?

Spouting life and death

Growing against the soil


Clutching to infinity by its limbs

Turned upside down

Stretched upon a bed of roses


Am I woman?

Am I flora?

Am I human?


Another soul in its wake.

I am physically wrapped around the vine-
I won’t let go until you let go
(Physical)

I am emotionally scared of what may happen to me when I release you from me
(Emotional)

I am mentally here, but searching for the next
Thought about the
(future once I release the grip)
of these unfilled voids to capture in their spacious petals yearning to embrace...
(Mental)

I would like you to think like a metaphor.

Grow what you want to grow in your garden and not worry about anyone else’s.

The universe causes everything to happen exactly as it should be.
The years have no bearing on when.

We can’t live for hope.
We must live in an unconflicted way.
Not everyone is going to meet the same expectations.

It matters not what we know but how we use it in life.

There is more valued alignment in being this than proving its point.

I can tell you I never fell in love.

But I am relaxing today because productivity is in the mind.