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LannaEvolved Dec 2020
I thought I knew
your words
It was like knowing anybody out there  
A blank page in the book of Proverbs

Bait and switch
Without the wisdom
But you didn’t know it
A lost pain of a soul...
Brought a soulless protection
to the fear
You called
me a scared little girl
Little did you know
I was my own savior.

What is it you said I needed?
A so-called enlightenment?
But who knew your darkness wrapped
*** magik
Could save vulnerability and attempt to destroy
the authentic luxury inside of me.
No. Only fake love in lust can do that.
For Lust is loss
and I’m not gone.

Then there was you and me again
That night unveiled me
The unevolved me
Still knew
I was going to make it out alive.
Sometimes we truly must experience the strange,  the unhealthy, the unwanted, the unnecessary, the potential threats to our emotional safety and well-being if we are to understand the essence of resilience and healing. We don’t always know how or why or even expect ourselves to fall into those situations with others, but when we break free of them, truly break free mentally and physically, with the support and inner strength we all have within, our outer world will dramatically change to reflect the new being we have become through it and for ourselves. You can do this. Believe and break free of anyone who may be chaining you to a false reality not meant for you. That is the only way that you will begin to change yours and the one you wish to see. You deserve the best. Do it for yourself as the creator you are.
LannaEvolved Dec 2020
I see the pieces in you
That keep you
away

Reflecting off your silent speech
The color jade
In blue green

Glass stripping the innocence

I tried to protect
A mask
With a sharred imagination

Produces a Passion flower
flavor
dripping  
In my mouth
Taste buds gone raw

A wild sunspun refraction strips me down in light strips
Light strips
form
laser electric prisms
Turn me inside out
That’s when the light comes on


So Let me. Take them off already.
Where are you sun?
I want you to know me.

I wanted to know you so bad.
But the real me saved
Who you knew

Who you thought you knew when we first met
that night

Dark and still
Inside the insides of your filthy stark
Leather streaked
Unfiltered cuts
I was keyed in
My intuition knew

The front seat
Headlights falsified
F your own self and *******
Until you sink into sinner’s
Sleep
That’s a lot of hidden pain to carry
Inside a heart burning body
Unconscious to the crisp
I dealt with you and you never knew as much
You thought you had me manipulated or mistaken, so no amount of gaslighting or emotional brain washing, yes, that’s what we shall call it, could disable me from my own perseverance to evolve and make it out stronger and more invigorated to live every dream and vision more acutely then I ever had in my life. And I did. I am. Your false puppetry could not keep up or dissuade me from my purpose and my intuition to remake the evolution of my life. Cheers to being happier than ever imagined. Because I made the unhealthy a part of the journey to bring out what I needed to grow and love that much more compassionately at a time when I thought I knew what love was.
Love is loving yourself through it all and believing in the faith to transcend that wholly onto another; into your right one.
The best has come.
Resilience taught me that.
And that everyone must surely be my teacher.
Earthen Heart Nov 2020
Children in backyards playing in the sunshine of summertime;
Swing sets and trampolines, ***** feet and scarred knees.
Wandering through the forest, free to be explorers;
Sleeping in tents always made the most sense.
Those were some good days, living in our old place.

Come winter, we’d jump out of bed, gather the sleds;
Adventures to the big hill, always a thrill.
Snowball fights on starry nights
Until we were satisfied, then warmed by the fireside.
Those were some fun days, living in our old place.

As we got older, life seemed colder;
From my brothers, my father and my mother
The distance increased and the days ceased
When we would play and it was all okay.
Those were some lonely days, living in our old place

Depression visited me too young, the isolation wasn't fun;
Eleven years old, I was sternly told
That of it I should not speak, life became excessively bleak.
Overcome with sadness, an innocent girl navigating through the madness.
Those were some hard days, living in our old place.

Wondering where all the love went and the quality time spent,
Lacking a meaningful connection, absent of familial affection.
Alone in a poorly lit bedroom, experiencing psychological gloom.
Riddled with confusion and fear, everything became more unclear.
Those were some scary days, living in our old place.

We moved on our separate ways, trying to land a job that pays
And find friends who would make amends
To my broken heart, offering a brand new start.
But nothing quite compared to the love that I had for you...
During all those good days, living in our old place.

Maybe emotional neglect has a lifelong effect,
Remaining difficult to let go of the hurt that continued to grow
When I was only a child. Still longing to be reconciled
While learning how to cope, forever holding on to hope
Throughout these restless days, living in our new place.
Maniacal Escape Jul 2020
Roses are red,
thinking gets dicey.
Speak to a doctor,
before things get too spicy.
CataclysticEvent Jun 2019
And the ground beneath
My feet vanishes.
The air in my lungs
Evaporates within me.
The blood in my veins
Exsanguinates through my pores.
And my mind shrivels and expands
Like the core ready to explode.
And I’m dying.

5 things I can see:
The chair
The sky
The door
The walls
My hand

The walls are closing in.
4 things I can touch:
The floor
The chair
My hair
The walls

The walls swirl in my vision
3 things I can hear:
The birds outside
The fan
The sound of my feet bouncing off the floor.

The walls move in and out of my vision.
2 things I can smell
The cut grass.
The sweat on my skin

The walls
1 thing I can taste:
The salt on my lips.

And then the walls vanish.

— The End —