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Tony Tweedy Mar 2019
It may be a truism but optimists cant escape it....
No one is right all of the time.
The only difference there has ever been is the frequency between  being wrong and right.

When an optimist falls in the woods only the pessimists will notice.
Is there greater strength in optimism or greater height to fall from?
Is attitude enough or is it deceptive?
Tony Tweedy Mar 2019
More often an optimist will see the goal, a pessimist the path.
If only we were both.
Perhaps that is why we seek not to journey alone?
Do opposites really attract? Is this what we really mean when we seek out our "other half"?
Tony Tweedy Mar 2019
By cold logic you arrive,
not through panic nor insanity,
for they are something separate.

You recall those who witnessed,
through blinded eye the beginnings.
Those seemingly oblivious of your falling to this place,
and who could offer no sanctuary or escape.

In your mind the inaction testifies, of a value you no longer hold.
Not just in your place of open eyed awareness,
But also in their world of illusion,
where you no longer belong.

There are two pathways ahead.
But only one will each choose according to their need.
Emotional pain made into the physical
Or the ending of pain both felt and caused, both past and future.

At the beginning and in the intermediate,
the times when cries for help prevailed.
Not consciously shouted but through changes,
altered interaction with the world as it once was.

To those who bore witness to beginning and middle,
at this stage comes the "why?".
"I saw it"...."Why did I not see this outcome?".... "I knew",???

To those who have not been here,
There seems to be no logic,
They cannot see from where they stand the simple rationale.
So contrary and beyond sight
that only the tag of insanity gives explanation.

At the beginners guide just so the numbers who sought to read.
At the intermediate a lesser number could give an interest.
The despair of others an unwanted knowledge and the readings so reflect a reality best kept unvoiced... too disturbing to the ear.
And fewer now here... dear reader... eyes uneducated still asking why.... you few are too late to understanding and by now despair has been defeated.
There are words I would have used but the site censors them for those who are not members.
The sad truth is that only those here through three "guides" will make any sense of my writings.
Tony Tweedy Mar 2019
I live in the darkest of places,
it is here that I constantly dwell
Some would call it empty,
but to me its name is just hell.

So rare is there anything,
that enters here into my night.
But every so often I am tortured,
by glimpsed reflections of light.

I watch as light approaches,
feel its warmth inside of me.
Giving rise to both dream and hope
and the promise of things that might be.

I watch as light passes,
and bathe in its radiant shine.
Thoughts voiced by madness,
I look to the light for a sign.

As it draws nearer to my existence,
and knowing what I need it to be.
The light always unerringly diverges,
I now aware the light just didn't seek me.

I sit and remember the lights,
here in my own black little shell,
I look all about me at darkness,
knowing that light wont ever want hell.
two rewrites and still not happy.....aaargh!!!
Tony Tweedy Mar 2019
I spent most of my life learning how to cry.
I will spend the rest of it learning how to stop.
Tony Tweedy Mar 2019
Life is sure to cost you whilst on the path you choose.
And there will be heartache from things that you will lose.
A greater pain you may encounter, at a far greater cost,
is to no longer see a value in things that once you lost.
You can lose trust in many ways for many things. It can shake foundation and pillar as destructively as any earthquake.
Not entirely happy with the last line..... of or in??
Tony Tweedy Mar 2019
I cant fight any more.... I'm done.
My own mind assaults me and it knows my weaknesses.
The gaping wounds in my thoughts are constantly re-opened.
I wonder which side of sanity I live on and I despair....
What if I am sane?
What if this is reality and my vision clear?
My refuge then must surely be insanity?
Or am I already there?
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