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Ellie Grace Feb 2020
There are holes in my memory,
missing pieces of time
claimed by malnutrition.

It is a bitter pill to swallow,
knowing that my own actions
had such severe consequences.
Knowing that I so wholeheartedly believed
that what I was doing was right,
that it was what I deserved.

Losing pieces of myself
to an identity that did not belong to me.
A girl is not supposed to be a disorder
becoming nothing more than an illness personified.
Ellie Grace Dec 2019
I naively believed
that surely
there was a limit
to how much loss
one person could suffer
before adulthood.
Life and death was not meant to be a childish fantasy
Ellie Grace Dec 2019
We held so much promise in our youth
Believing that together, we could change the world
It was a time before the darkness had settled into both of our bones.
Before pain had found a home inside our chests.
We were just two people searching for something more
Some grander purpose.

It wasn’t until much later,
With the consequences of the years that followed on our shoulders
That we realised,
Instead of changing the world
We lit a match
And watched it burn
We weren't the heroes after all
Ellie Grace Dec 2019
All alone,
in the dark
she sought out a flame,
making the world burn
just so she could feel warmth again.
Ellie Grace Dec 2019
Darkness has settled over this land, as black as night, blanketing the world below.

It creeps its way into every household, filling rooms with emptiness.

The silence between the dawn and day is suffocating,
a reminder of the loss we have all suffered.

The rising of the sun will bring with it new horrors….
but for now, it is quiet.
Ellie Grace Dec 2019
A child is not meant to outlive both their parents
by the age of 21
A child is not meant to grow up
with no family at all
I still grieve for two people i never got the chance to meet
Ellie Grace Dec 2019
Now that it is all over, what am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to forgive myself?
For my hands are dripping with blood
And it stains everything I touch.
I am trying to wash my hands but the water keeps running
Red
Red
Red
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