Devils and mercenaries
Dislocated shoulders
Second hand panic
Static cling

Visions broadening perception
Decrepit linoleum houses
Men in the front yard, *****
Crawling in search of a fix and some pants
Viles of junk, baggies of powder
An unexpected destiny of agony
Forced to dress up to please a higher society

They won’t let me go
With all the information I know
The despicable disciple’s pillars of animosity and distain toward the rebellious over flow

Never a hunter always a prisoner
The bounty is huge for this lone survivor
Two lunatics in a rubber room
One claims to be captain of a magic carpet
The other believes his skin is on inside out
Both sunburned and daffy

Her armada of refusal of failure goes unmatched
Even my resistance is unparalleled to hers

Electric shocks, water torture, brands, beatings, lashings and floggings
My beard is torn from my face

We will not surrender our splendid fascinations of the galaxy for you provincial ideals of pain and suffering to teach the divine path to enlightenment
How sadistic

We both lay silent and prepared
****** and bruised
Devising the slaughter of their brutal oppressive cult

The temptress zigzags into the barracks
And makes off with the subservient uniform wearing rifleman's milk money
To buy a swimsuit for her ephemeral summer body
That will sag to the floor by the first few days of autumn

She hacks the submarine's sonar system
And lets the current take her to a cedar river bend
Where she sniffles while polishing her handgun
Reserved for all those who lag behind in the arid region
To release them from their contractual servitude

Causing a ripple effect
Of inconclusive prospects
Etcetera , etcetera

The Couch Potato is glued to the screen with his tin foil hat on
He sees tailor made charades being played for keeps
Superficial calling cards being dropped into mailboxes
Gravy trains being engineered by some guy subject to temper tantrums and growing pains
Window shoppers searching for second hand teapots, swear jars and unofficial other halves

To him it's all real
Is he wrong?

Put on your dunce cap and ponder that

       -Tommy Johnson

Imagine your surgical procedure being done by someone you’ve left broken hearted
Surely they’ve put aside the petty squabbles in the past and are prepared to operate

No anesthesia…how curious
Why are your limbs fastened so securely?

Her empty gaze captures your eyes
She looks away and begins the first incision
Down the middle of your abdomen
A cry of stinging pain fills the four walled chamber of oncoming torture
The blade leads down to your waist and sliced open skin follows behind it
And inside dwell your organs within the ribs

Empty jars await their entry sitting on the counter

“NO!
“NO!” “STOP, PLEASE!”

She remains silent

Yet on the inside a roar of rage propels her to twirl your intestines with a fork like spaghetti and then put it in a jar
That was for the time you put her down and judged her harshly for being anorexic.  
She only wanted to be pretty enough to deserve you

She has waited a long time for this delayed gratification
It has been put off due to her indecision's of how she planned to force feed you your just desserts

A hunting knife into your back?
Too messy
Get a new lover and rub it in your face?
Too predictable
Arsenic or sulfuric acid poisoning?
To easy
The thought of bashing you on social media and bringing out all your grotesque laundry and despicable skeletons?
Well that would diminish her reputation and you; in her eyes are not worthy of that

So this was her concluding decision
Precariously and tediously breaking you down bit by bit

An angel of death with a vendetta against a betraying heretic of love

She plucks your kidneys out with a pair of clean stainless steel tweezers
And drops them in a jar then twists the lid back on tightly

That was for all the times you pressured her to take part in things that went against all she believed to be right and true
“Here, drink this”
“Snort this”
“**** this”
“We don’t need one”
“This won’t hurt”
“Come on don’t you love me?”
Your screams have been silenced with gauze bandages
The muffled agony is like a serene symphony to her

You hurt her
You took her
And had her change everything about her to the point she couldn’t even recognize her reflection in the mirror
What was once a beautiful blonde haired, bright eyed, clear skinned young woman became a pale, thin haired, strung out, sunken eyed broken shadow of herself
All because of you
And your intimidating influence

She spoons out your liver, the your bladder and pancreas
The appendix has already been taken out, on her dime
Remember that?
You had her move in
You had her pay a little of the rent
Then half of it
Then all of it
She worked while you shot up
Then you got her to start shooting up
She lost her job and you two lived on the streets

You’ve passed out now
Your moans and squirms are gone

She proceeds to remove your stomach
This was for what was the most traumatic and tragic moment in her life

You got her pregnant, around the same time you convinced her to join you on a drinking binge
Months later she told you she went to the doctor
And the doctor said your child was still born
Can you recall the sleepless nights of tears and anguish?
Of course not you were invested with another woman at the bottom of a bottle of bourbon

The jars are filling up
Two remain

She rips out your lungs with her bare hands
You told her you would marry her, you would love and cherish her forever
Instead you ruined her life and drove it into the ground
You made her feel lonely even when you were right next to her knocked out in some doped up trance

She bashes your skull open with a rock hammer and picks up your brain and removes the stem
She looks at it
She would have believed it to be more sinister looking
And smaller
Into a jar it goes

Last but not least she looks at your heart
It stopped beating
Your black heart
Full of malice and careless arrogance
Your brutal, evil heart
She rips it out with her own mouth
And takes a bite and swallows
It tastes like a rotten sour stinking fruit
Putrid and vile

Your carcass tied to an operating table
Your torso torn open
And your organs removed and put in jars

The girl you wronged is now satisfied
You are even
You can pass on
And she can move on

In our bright winter’s morning, I drive up the road
Wipers brushing off the leftover flakes
The heat melting the snowy excess
In a flashback I remember the warm sand between my toes
And the ocean’s fist making contact with mine
The waves cracking from the collision of our blows
I smile but I am sulking on the inside
Yet hopefulness grips my train of thought
Two more seasons and I’ll be back just like that
I’ll be back on the beach, happy
And hopefully
She’ll be there too

It's all  conspiracy
Idle hands are the Devil's playthings
I told you so
Remove the feeding tube
But not during the gestation period
By after the gastric bypass
And right before the insemination
Put the fault on the horse voiced gentry
And the perpendicular denominations
What's it to you?
You estranged neo-native
Counterfeit piety and disobedient estranged friends unnerve you
You act so factious
Deliberately making everything a joke
Ponder the trajectory of my fist to your glass jaw
And the brass knuckles to your abdomen
You'll want to get an iron lung when we're through
Maybe a respirator and a catheter
Now, go count your toenail clippings as the idle minds cast their votes for this referendum

       -Tommy Johnson

I'm your dark reflection
Hear the people singing

Fighters, lovers
Lonely women on they'r own in the cool spring time air

Look me in the eye

In this mirror will you see me
Deteriorating?

Come miss, let's go outside and go for a walk

Golden sunshine, starry night time
Afternoon rush hour, it is crunch time

I am doubtful next to my boyfriend
Walk me to The Grand Canyon
Where my secrets can fill it's spaces

Salads with dressings of kings
Licorice candy, water of plenty
Sleep in my bed he said to the sightseer
Calling her attention to his desires

I'm leaving now
You are to forceful
My body is temple
It's not yours it is mine

Give me your goose
Your golden egg laying goose
I'm down on my luck
And need a karat or two

Walking the highway
All by myself
I am in transit
There are no pit stops

Look in the mirror
Lady of fortune
I am what you see
But not what you are

The Lollygaggers gag on their lollipops
As the ice cream truck passes them by

Those moment when you're trying to be funny are the finest cuisine for my hypothalamus

Seeing you display what a sinch it is for you to make an *** of yourself

All you are is a big noise
And your life is held together by safety pins and duct tape

Is it true that she may overlook my fallacies repeatedly delivered to her door?
And a self dignified renewal will excuse my ambivalent decisions
On a somber night, sweet rapture will prompt us to awake with a startling siren of urgency
Oh the sporadic foreboding of my subconscious chiming in when all is still
But is none the less heard
Honesty
Compassion
Reassurance
Intimacy
Whispering echoes in my frail chamber of a mind

Come trues
Come through’s
With the same question
Sleeping in the harbor

Thorough affairs
Right beside you
For everyone
Besides you

Ridiculous findings
Of subliminals
In the subconscious

Exhaustion slams on the breaks

Running on fumes
Check gas gauges
Blow past the yellow lights
But there’s not too much distance

Veering into your shoulder
Your’re off your head
Funny interpretations

The prime meridian
And the equator

Follow your fancies
Holding the final sum for ransom

Pudding skins
Melon *****
Berries
Muffins

We’re shivering around two candles
I hate this on street parking curfew
I keep getting up to check
To see if some quota filling officer of the law gave me a bogus ticket

Let me out
The clock is moving too slow for me
It stares at me, it's laughing

I really don’t wanna be here no more
My foots tapped a hole in the floor

Let me out ,let me out
Rip down the door

Let me out, let me out
This place is a bore

Let me out let me out
I can't be restrained

Let me out let me out
Or I'll go insane

I check the time again it ain't changed
Earth's rotation is to blame

I'm way too tense to be trapped in here
You find me rude but I don’t care

Let me out ,let me out
Rip down the door

Let me out, let me out
This place is a bore

Let me out let me out
I can't be restrained

Let me out let me out
Or I'll go insane

I got no place to go
I just can't be here
Or I'll...I'ill
Explode

This moment in time
Goes by way too slow
I'll lose my mind
If you don’t let me go

Let me out let me out
Rip down the door

Let me out, let me out
This place is a bore

Let me out, let me out
I can't be restrained

Let me out,  let me out
Or I'll go insane

The drifter and the comely young women who gleamed with charisma walk passed the rabble-rousers on their way to tie the knot

The rabble-rousers cheer, tossing out superlatives, praising their oncoming matrimony
The young woman is chomping at the bit to finally settle down
The drifter is on the same boat, he can't keep living the life of a rolling stone
He's gonna give the married life a whirl

She has her dress in a brown paper bag and he has on the shiniest cuff links this side of the Pacific

Some say they just portrayed a happy couple
But behind closed doors they had hidden intentions
But I'd wager that they truly loved each other  
But my my opinion is superfluous, they know in their hearts what they're doing is right
So they got that going for them

They make their way to the ****** who is set to marry the two
Until they are ambushed by pinheads with the gift of gab and know it all's who know nothing  but still try to talk out of their ***** even though their heads are already wedged tightly up them already

Egregious questions and tauntings of habitual bullshitters
What was God thinking during their creation?
Good thing the worst of them all has been tarred and feather and ran out of town on a rail, or so I've been told

They finally reach their destination and say their vows right off their cuffs
Say I do, kiss with just me in attendance
And leave all these sheep all these irritants behind
And embark on their new life together

A myth of spirits
Of flesh and belief

A world of great pain
And those who beg for relief

The naked the starving
Began to praise the sun

They feared it and loved it
They proclaimed it to be the one

This formula was genetic
Imprinted on the brain of every man

A timeless devotion
A naïve emotion as old as sand

Disputes, disagreements
Blind pledged allegiance and war

The body counts rise
As the worshipers die and what for?

So self-righteous believers
Can say they did right

Counterproductive destruction
And senseless fights

So let’s stop this nonsense now
At once

And believe in ourselves
And just be thankful for the sun

Do not depend you need not defend
Its exuberant light is fastened so tight in eternity and shall not come undone

It will not do for you
It can only provide you light

It allows you to look clearly
And decipher wrong from right

Although it’s subjective
And moral objectives are rarely the same

Let us rejoice and throw up our voice
For ourselves without remorse or shame

I hate this
More than any other
I cringe at the thought
Our somber warmth disrupted
By a slash of winter
Blackberry winter
Closing my eyes
And preparing
For discontent
Here it comes
Insufferable splinter
Blackberry winter

Now, if you think I am the only writer or poet of my kind in this New Age Millennium, you are mistaken

There is me that is, Sammy Kendricks and my crew of reject ragtag writers extraordinaire who are going to change this world

First on the roster we have Haden Zanders, a poet who tackles topics from a humorous but  intelligent and eloquent way

Then there's Zach Nichols my personal shaman, he's into paganism, mysticism, alchemy and spirituality as a whole
His writing is out of this world, literally and add to it he's a musician who is single handedly innovating the neo tribal music genre

Next In Derek Neman, a poet and musican close to my heart, a bit younger than the rest of us but still hold his own
He is loving, caring and has a strong spirit that I know will take him wherever he goes
His words can make mountains weep

Then there are Kaspar and Otto
Kaspar is a poet of the romantic variety, hopelessly devoted to love
Otto is a writer who can sum up any topic in a matter of a few lines
But powerful lines they be
Short, sweet and to the point

Up next is my good friend Jeeves, Jeeves isn't his real name
His real name is Nat but that was too boring so we all call him Jeeves
He is one of the mad ones, stricken with a severe case of wanderlust and wonderment
He served in the navy for three years
Now he's back and writes of his travels and his loves and losses
He paint, plays bass and philosophizes the human condition

Of course how could I forget Pete, a clean cut good 'ol boy
Always down to meet woman and have a drink and make a night out of a day
He writes rhymes like I've never seen
So vibrant and addicting

We all have that friend we **** heads with and Sonny is that friend for me
We're opposites in every sense of the word
You all know me so imagine the reverse
But his writing is political, realistic, stoic, emotional and completely him
I love him to death, there will come a day where we throw down

Now finally last but not least
You know him
You love him
You hate him
It's the Don Juan of Dumont
The one and only
Quincy Valero
His writing reads as fast as he lives
A mile a minute
Girls, cars, drugs, food, parties
Excess and excitement
Memories and mistakes
Highs and lows
Yes

But of course we have other non writing friends
Zeik Adams my engineering friend whos gonna be rich someday
Nyal Jensen our dancing friend who always brings it to the floor in every club we hit
Ahio Rikashi our best bud from the far east, romantic and deep
Kyle Filmore my trippy drummer
And Mike Neman, Derek's younger brother and one of my closest friends

We've all shared pain and laughter
Trips, drunken evenings
Road trips, meals
Quarrels and misunderstandings
But we all care about each other
And all of our writing and our goal to always be there to check the pulse of this world
Hell, even start it up when it wains off every now and then
We're here to give this generation a kick start
A reminder of what we can and will do
We can revitalize our world with knowledge, understanding and unity
We are the pulse generation

A line has been drawn
And you have nothing to say about the height chart in the door frame
***** smocks
The ebbing and flowing of passengers in the middle seat
Who do nothing but leave coffee rings everywhere they've been
And say, "my left shoes has a sturdier soul than I do!"
Then forget to close the toaster oven
Rusted lamp posts and artificial flavoring
The Kettle telling The ***, "don't do me no favors"
I see clear coasts and those who've missed their boats
They should have taken their piece of cake
Now, this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you
Getting back to business and usual
Better make that eyelash wish count
It's a free for all
It's sibling rivalry
For all the brown-nosers
Who live up to their reputations of raised leg urination
Give me a pull start
And then demote me to cabin boy
       -Tommy Johnson

I’m busting out of this oppressive penitentiary of negativity
I’ve got the determination to transform my laughable dream into an applaudable reality
I refuse to be held here for another second
No locks, no cameras, no rubber rooms or electric chairs will hold me
I’m free

No blockade of words can cause me to halt
Opportunity is knocking heavily at my door
I open the mahogany entryway and welcome it inside
I make it tea and have a deep conversation about things to come

“You’ve been in the dog house for too long”
“Yeah, but every dog has its day”

It’s calling to me
Time to initiate my aspirations

Cheers to the future
So long to the past
Now I am here
On a paramount path

The path is made or salty tears, perspiration and sacrificed blood
The satisfying end justifies the brutal means
Not a soul had a single ounce of faith in me
Naysayers only bring you down
Now I’ve made it
Their mouths drop in disbelief and can’t seem to make a sound

Escape the prison of “won’t”, “cant” and “never”
And all those who doubt you are prison guards, liars
Breakout from the discouragement
Then set the jaundice jail on fire

Never needed them
Self-proficient

Shut up
And open your eyes
And observe closely
As your callus skepticism dies

Thank you for keeping me in the dark
I’d have no reason to reach for the light other wise
I look at you fall as my dreams rise

Pass on
Select the time and contemplate the goals
My golden Goddess, my Queen
The sanctimonious moments of life
Those you live for

An intrinsic grove confiding in the glistening sun

Lovers strolling down the dirt paths **** without shame

It is natural here; joy and laughter fill the air

Our brains elevated with naivety and innocence

Ambient sounds and kind voices are all we hear

Select the hymn from the long, long ago
The moment is here
“Be free” they chant
Under the sun
In the shade of a cryptic tree

Ship out here again to the grove
Roam through the cool pastures
Join us
As we dance to the overture

Dark eyed underlings
Hissing impulsively
Madhouse notions enter the man’s cranium

We are gathered at this junction for this vigorous cross breeding
Of the immense love and the prolific lust we have for life
And extend an olive branch to those with a dim acceptance of death

Bent on devouring mortality
Floundering to pump out a miracle
On a spree of existence
Cruising behind tinted intentions
Melodies crumble sheepishly

Ah, divine originator of life
Allow us immortality
To escape our awful fates
And plan a mutiny against Charon

We beg for silk and satin intimacy

Evil wicked sorcerers of the soul are refused iconic eternal life
Gentle menders of the spirit may bask in the glorious groves of timelessness

My eyes have never had the opportunity to even glare at diamonds.
I’ve never had the experience of tasting water from the cup of life.
The shame of my current status, in a suburban purgatory; where all the houses look the same.
And the town is slowly decaying.
The radio, television and computer spew promises of golden treasures
Dionysian parties.
Lavish, mischievous endeavors.
And never even taking a moment to mull over the choices.
Bentleys soaring through the city nights.
But it’s just in our prayers.
A watch covered in rubies that won’t tell time,
Because it doesn’t matter,
Pricey top shelf alcohols,
Exotic purebred animals,
Paying no mind to the expense.
I have no time to listen to your lustful desires.
We may never be these magnificent stars above…
For our blood isn’t lucky or holy.
Yet we don’t crave extravagance.
But desire that eluding excitement.
Name me king!
And kiss the ring!
I’m just a fool.
It’s all but a dream.
We have unraveled the clandestine riddles.
Rolling pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters,
On our way to the wishing well.
And it’s effortless to distinguish between barren pockets and bursting pouches of dabloons and denarius’.
No nuisance to us we’ve worked for what we have.
The curse of greed, self-indulgence,
Splurging on foolish fixations.
Impaired, decked out
Obliterating the palace.
While keeping their noses in the airs they put on.
Pumpkin carriages at midnight,
Platinum plates for a marvelous feast.
Airplanes, cruise ships.
All we need are the keys.
Ride on the horizon.
We maybe become millionaires, take the money and run
But we don’t need the luxury;
We only yearn for the golden sun.
I’m not an emperor,
Nor a leader.
Just a player in this life,
They call a game.

A hastened silence
Implicit danger
Bed bug bites

Being submerged speechlessly
In the bay by the dying chrysanthemums

Stocked shelves
To pay for all the pings and dings in the car
Evicted
Couldn't make the rent in time

Shoveled sod and soot
**** and mud
Wearing stained tank tops and horn rimmed glasses  
****** in the gut
And filled the shot glass to the brim
But always got home at a respectable hour

Fastened to the table
Hurry up and wait!

"People are expendable"
"**** the low-lives living the high-life"

       -Tommy Johnson

The question of “what am I doing?” resonates in my empty noggin
And an answer is never thrown back

Only more questions
Are set free on to me
Doubts, second guesses, negative thoughts
Worrisome regrets and guilt

Attempting to see how I feel after the bomb dropped and left me scorched and nearly dead

My attitude towards it have changed
I didn’t want it to
But the explosion has made my vision of the truth I once held dear too blurry

No, no nothing has changed only my place of input
It is still true
But is it right?
Is this where I should be?
The skepticism marches in

I thought so last time
I was naïve and blinded by emotion

But are emotions what drive me?
What makes me human?
Why am I using logic now?
Because I’ve been hurt

No, no, no I won’t let the mushroom cloud shroud and elude my feelings

Ah, but look backing during the final stage I was tormented night and day

Okay so logic is good
As is emotion

Emotional logic?
Logical emotion?

If the logic makes me feel confident in my feelings and if my feelings appear to make rock solid sense then all is well

Nostalgia, shame and all that from before now gone

But they’ll come back like always

But now I have tools to fight them

You need the fight; it keeps you aware and always going

As I drive to the house
Where the alcohol waits
My mind yearns
And I anticipate

I can’t wait to come out
After a few drinks
Let everything go loose
I don’t need to feel or think

The Mecca is the trifecta of the vertex of the epicenter of the apex
But we just use that as a reference point
We refused to be swayed by centripetal force
And peeled back the layers of the mind to find the inertia that had given us the centrifugal force to push us in our quest to find the ultimate reality

I saw a vandal giving in to voyeurism
When a watershed moment happened

He had a sudden premonition
There were nervous virgins about to take the plunge
There were people giving hi 5's to each other and making pinky promises they swore to keep
There were poor soul's trying to quit cold turkey
Eating molten ****** cakes

I looked to the East and visions came to me as well
I saw kids having fever dreams of pitching fits and fever pitches
I saw liberated lesbian librarians eating their feelings and playing
"**** one, **** one, marry one"
I saw the extinction of guilty pleasures
I saw a man being caught up in getting up to speed with
I trifling teenagers
Low on money but high off drugs
I saw myself checking in to check up on the check out line to pick out and pick up a new catcher's mitt
I caught a case
A call
And a cold

I saw the love of my life running towards me on a soft white beach
As she came closer I could see her beginning to decay
Her skin melted
Her organs and blood fell from her
Her eyes and teeth dropped out of her head
Her hair fell out
And her skeleton came into my arms and I heard a whisper
"I will always be with you, my uncrowned king"

All that I own is worthless
Yet, everything reminds me of you
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

Guardian angel watch me
As I write a tale of loss
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

Raven-black hair
Dark brown eyes just like mine
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

Now I write the tale of loss
And of it I dream
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

Her voice echoing
Finding me
Across the water

Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia
An other boy a year an a half older
You only left six numbers

Car crash took your husband
Oh, you were so young
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

Crying moon
Angry mind
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

I will write my tale of love
In hopes you will see
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

Find me
Read my tale for you
Adriana Maria Rojas Garcia

Grab it if you can
Right off the books
Switch up
Switch on
Jump down
Jump off
Levels down in excitement
So astonished
Your eyes can take it
The beat of your heart
The drum in your ear
Excessive, translucent, an attempt to open the doors
Thrive to survive
Slam it louder on me
Rattling machine guns
As we sat back and watched
Brainwash me slanted
Grab it if you can

As a child I always wish for time to go faster so I could grow up
And since I’ve been here I feel something’s missing and I’m not sure what
I think I need I need a change, I need to get out of this rut

Life time sun shine, glimmering in her hair
As soon as the fates called me better believe I ran
I’ve heard this sound a million times but can’t remember where

Nineteen found love, as pure as it could be
What dreams are made of, intoxicating fantasy
She said she’d love me till the last rose was gone
And even till this day the promise stands strong

I’ve felt the cool hand of loneliness, its saddening caress
But on hot July night, I broke free and ran out of sight
I found the one to give my heart
It’s felt like magic from the start

I lay here feeling warm and a bit sickly
Bringing myself back to where I belong
In front of a piece of digital papyrus and my fingers caressing the keys
And creating life in forms of fiction and nonfictional word play
Writing of things I’ve seen, things I’ve done
People I know people who have touched my life in one way or another
Persons who have decided to leave my life
Ah let them go to live their own
All is well
And I have learned that now
I say good bye to the one who made me experience love for the first time
I say good bye to the one who makes callous remarks to ones he held dear
I say goodbye to the one who acted as superior as they wished they were
I say goodbye to the new born youth and wish them luck and my the spirit of life carry you
I say good bye to the one whose time I wasted and to them I give an apology as deep as my insecurities for I wish I was stronger to confront them when you were around but at least now you know what makes you happy
I say hello to the one who is in the pit of despair as I was but only 2 years ago
I say hello to the one who is in a moral quandary not unlike mine all those summers ago
And I say hello to the one next door whose footsteps remain to be right behind mine, my dear friend I love you and I shall help you, all of you for you would and have done the same for me
And I fall to my knees and bow my head onto the gritty ground in praise of the radiant beauty of the soul that has picked me up and taken me to what seems to be the realm of relief
Words cannot express the thanks and worship I have for you
I say good morning to the one who brings out the human in me
I make lunch for the one who feeds my heart with love so pure and true
I will take you where ever you want; you want to be with me
That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard
No wait that is your voice so sweet and honest it’s like the blast from the shiny brass trumpet in a jazz jam
Oh, my life has been renewed
My life has changed
Yet again but it has never stopped
Nor shall I
I will continue to grow and learn and unavoidably get hurt along the way
I had what I thought was the most important thing in the universe taken away and completely and utterly destroyed
I lost my faith, faith in it, faith in myself, and faith in others
Until I saw that nothing had changed I was just facing the wrong way and not listening to my inner self
I am now back on the right track and I will fight to make sure nothing derails me

You're here by cordially invited to my suicide
Please, RSVP to the homicide
Don't be late to the genocide
And make sure that you bring your own cyanide
I take the adrenochrome  
And I realize
We are all the thoughts we chose to let out and our scrapped ideas that we could of been fly away

And now I'm left here with ***** thoughts and dishes
Dreams and wishes
Die from the inside
It's never easy

Dig me a shallow grave
Your regret is deep
A life might of been saved
The guilt is your's to keep
Caffeine, nicotine, THC, LSD it's all the same to me
They keep me going, going
Gone

Piercings and ashes
I can see the sun and the moon all at once
I know I'm guilty
Allow me if you will
Oh, what else can I do?
At least let me tie my own noose

       -Tommy Johnson

First, there was infinity
Out of infinity came darkness and light
Which were divided into night and day
The light of day gave birth to the sea, the sky and the earth
The darkness of night gave birth to more

It began with doom
Which brought death
Caused by disease and old age
After living  life of suffering
Suffering from pain, mockeries and lies
Lies told by fakes who used illusion
Illusions to cause discord and fights
Fights that ended in war, ****** and ruin
From the ruins came misery
And from that misery came starvation
Which caused plundering and deceit
Deceit showed the way to defilement
The defilers began to harvest pride
The pride lashed out harsh criticisms
Those criticisms caused obsessions to destroy blemishes and defects
The path to doing so lead to lawlessness until all that was left was the choice to forget all that had happen or place the blame somewhere
It was inescapable  

Yet, all of that was only half of what spawned from infinity

The light of day beared the sky, sea and earth
Encompassing them was time and nature
Time held possibilities
Possibilities to create
To create life
Life full of love
Love full of live
And yes, each fate is the same
Death
The start, the length of each life and the eventual end
But each destiny differs
Nature
The ebbing and flowing of order
The force coming from infinity
Binding all living things
To heal and to bestow gifts
Gifts of guidance
Of peace and truth
Truths that speak of joy and undeniable beauty
Encouragement and relief

But what is it that separates the two?
Keeping this world in proper balance?
The answer is us.
Look within yourself and see the infinity you hold
Destroy it
Then create anew

Methuselah went gallivanting around town with some *******. When a mysterious person with a bag on their head with the word "Yuck" on it crossed their path. The person began to inform them all about the dark arts and practical black magic.
And attempted to peddle stolen his and her towels to them. Passing it off as homemade genuine hand crafted cloths . When they were just used rags with faded embroidering on them.
Neither Methuselah or his ******* had the wherewithal to purchase the lousy linens.
Methuselah showed the Bag-headed person his empty pockets.
The person shook their head in affirmation and took the bag off to reveal the face of a woman with no eyebrows and the number "96403" on her left cheek.
She put the towels in the bag and went on her way. The ******* and Methuselah went to a motel that night to get busy .
The young man at check in said he was sorry because there were no towels in their room.
To both their surprise two bags were there hanging on the rack instead.
One said "Odium", the other said "Pang".
 
       -Tommy Johnson

We got a god thing going here
We got gun runners and *** runners
Nice and furtive
I will not go to the penitentiary
I'll get a face lift if I have to

She knows too much
Give her a party favor
That represents our colonial ways
Gingivitis
It's a hoot
Halitosis

Pass the ammunition
No flash photography
Bump some coke
Before the search and seizure
Of puzzled looks

Some can't deal with this safari maze
Mutter a prayer for human error
It's first come first served
A double helix goodie-bag
Stomp the home schooled henchmen
Mace them and throw the grenade
It's too close for comfort

And that's the gist of it

I can’t defend my actions
Unexplainable bursts of deviant behavior
I begin to believe in my own farfetched deceit
And convince myself it’s the truth
I long to retract the word
Pushing a wedge between you and I
So why am I putting this off?
You heavy misdeed did not outweigh mine
So what am I yelling for?
I fooled myself in thinking that karma would never find me in a secluded cave on the other side of the world
May all my sins be absolved
And my remorse be washed away
As yours fade likewise
And we repent our falsehoods to each other
I a, a genuine charlatan
And I can own up to that
I apologize
Now I leave
We’ll look back at this
As the time we came clean

The meeting of the minds is taking place in a booth in the back corner or the pub with those beer nuts you like so much

The Cheapskate
The Peddler
The Chiseler
The Swindler
And The Big Shot

Originally it was supposed to just me the Big Shot and the Peddler
Then the Chiseler squirmed his way into the scheme
Since three was already a crowd no one protested to the company of the Swindler and The Cheapskate

"Around of scotch for my homies!" says The Big Shot to the barmaid
The Cheapskate turned pale and whispers into The Big Shot's ear

"Four scotches and a tap water!" The Big Shot called out

The last time these five character went in on something together it turned into a huge power struggle

The Big Shot got too big for his britches
The Swindler tampered with the numbers
As he and The Chiseler blamed the blame game
While the Peddler was managing the tensions and just trying to get all he could off his hands
And the Cheapskate putting as little as he could in to get as much as he could out of the whole thing

Those were their salad days
Wheeling and dealing
What a shame they never came out clean
At all
Such a shame

But this time they will not repeat the trauma
They're in it to win it
The sweepstakes scam of the century
The feel good moment

They all knew none of them got along
But they had to get on with it

The plan was intricate
First the Chiseler would take every love letter intended for a physicist
Then rewrite in as a hate note
Upon reading the phony expression of disdain
The physicist would dive into his work to get his mind off it
And develop his studies of String Theory

Then The Swindler would buy the theory from the broken hearted egghead with the money The Peddler made from selling the spinning squares that make a dizzying circle he got at wholesale from his guy in Cairo

The Cheapskate would then gather a few undesirables from the abandoned paper factory and have them ransack The Physicist's lover's house and hold at gun point to have her cough up a few of her ***** little secrets which include the fact she had been sleeping with The Big Shot

The Big Shot would at that point step in and end things with the Physicist's Lover and tell her it was because she could even protect the material things she owned
Which made him question if she could guard and protect his heart

So The five masterminds would have the rights and royalties to The Physicist's String Theory, his lover's every last belonging, The Peddler's wacko drugs and his connection and a few of The Lover's unmentionables
Plus the Big Shot gets to get laid

Not bad for five guys who couldn't get along

And not a single cop out or snide remark thrown

Thusly it was agreed upon with a five-way spit hand shake that if anything would happen that could incriminate any of them, The Swindler would answer for everything with his feet on the ground
Because the Chiseler had Plan B which involved a jailbreak

I'm unsure of where I'm headed
I'm near the edge, I'm about to die
But, being near death makes me feel alive
This is such s blessed curse
Things are always upside down and reversed
The world's thunderous applause
Makes me feel like a god
Yet, I'm so unsure of what's happening
This is my choice and mine alone
So I must admit myself
Since I can't make any sense
And it seems that nothing helps
When there's nothing left to tell
No amount of support can stop me now
No words of love can calm me down
I'm so unsure of who I am
I wonder where I'll be in a light year
If I keep walking this way
Through time and space
I wonder where the world will be
If the Earth will still be here
If it will still be able to turn
And the people learn to understand
And take time to look and listen
And learn to love themselves
For everything that they are
And know that they're all stars
I'm so unsure of what the future holds
       -Tommy Johnson

Stellar eyes
Look at me

Stellar eyes
Look in me
Speak to me

For, your dazzle shocks my soul
And makes me feel like I'm whole
When you stare at me
I lose my grip to reality
And all the worries and the cares
It makes realize nothing's there
You rip my conscious bare
And all that's left is truth or dare

Gaze t me dead on
Tell me it won't be long
Before I can expand
And you can contract
Then we'll do it all again
I'm sure I have no idea

“Can you cover my shift 5 to 10 next Sunday?”
The first thought is to bring life to another forged explanation.
But then remember “the car”, “Nike Air Max 13’s” “new black chinos!”
“Yes, but who is this?” my eagerness caused by some subconscious yearn to nab this opportunity for a little more change in my pocket
Return to the dusty road I came from
My smiles wider than the road it’s self
You know how happy I am
My eyes have seen things they shouldn’t have
Time as we know it collapsing
Back to the road that brought me here
Laughing so hard
I can never take it back

Homecoming of creativity
The four walled clock melting safe house
Oh the anticipation
The justification
It’s coming back soon

I don’t wanna stand on my toes forever
Just trying to peer over then moon
To see the sunrise for tomorrow
I’m finally content with the night light
I don’t wanna stand on my toes forever

Across the avenue
People walking on their hands
And having their peculiarity
Drained from their auras
I can’t understand

Arriving back to times we applauded at our own joy and success
I can comprehend
The boulevard
The corner where this all was conceived

I don’t want to put on my shoes
I’m just going to take them off again
Down to another dusky trail
Unraveling its self for my travels

It's winner take all
For the tile of "Belle of the Ball"
You know the in's and out's
Your familiar with the ropes
No retreat, no surrender
Don't let this siphon your energy
Don't let 'em ruffle your feathers
Bob and weave
Head, body, head, body
Feed it through
Never hand over hand
We're at such a high altitude
There is so fallback
No drawbacks
To getting this off your chest
It's fight or flight
In the moment of truth
So chalk it up to natural selection

Gets a text from her ex lover
Says he loves her but had *** with an other
Calls him a ******* and calls her a *****
Even though she did the same thing three nights before

I’m sorry, so sorry to have to tell you the news
I told the truth and now it's all over
Which is weird cause I'm always telling stories
Lies make your mascara run and your vision blurry

I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
You hurt me so bad
Threw me away oh what could I do?
You got so mad when I found someone else
But it's okay if there's a guy that’s not me on top of you

I'm sick of living this falsehood
This lying this cheating ain't doing me any good
But I'm not like you at least I'm not selfish
I mess something up you know I'll fix it

Who the hell am I kidding?
I'm really no better than you
Cheated and never told you, another woman or two
Seems I chose a bad time to be honest
I'm sorry calm down can we please move on from this

I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
You hurt me so bad
Threw me away oh what could I do?
You got so mad when I found someone else
But it's okay if there's a guy that’s not me on top of you

I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth
I'm lying, I'm lying, I'm telling the truth

Are you ready for the main course?
Prepare the condiments
Thin oven mitts
Teas cozies
Lace doilies

It's just a decoy
Here lies the kid who was left home alone while is parents visited The North Pole

Try to consolidate the front door
And here's a laxative called LSD to aide your constipated mind
Now go on with the insurrection
And fight Parliament for the sake of the proletariat
Who's names are always written in lower case lettering

The limousine drivers
The skrimpers
The savers
The single mothers with bad habits who have to dance off skimpy clothing to buy formula for their babies because they're milk is tainted with junk

The weary recipients of justice obstructions
And catch 22's
Who have been singled out because they have monetary deficits

Console them
Until Eureka!
Grab some Q-tips and clean out your ears
Stop gritting and grinding your teeth
A new realization  is in bloom

When did be aware turn into beware?
When did alertness become fear?

Forget and get over your
Remanding-accursed-sweet-tooth-fatigue-that you let in
Because it's all in your head along with the idea that hyphens make things look more important and scary

I contest all that *******

I'm there for those with knives in their backs
For those with hearts that are chipped and cracked
With deteriorating mentalities  
And crumbling realities
I'll be your friend
To the bitter end
Your secret lover
Your blood brother
I come from the darkest depths
Defile life and defy death
Faster than the eye can see
Slave to adrenaline but yet, I'm free
Call me if you need me
But only if you need me
I'm the one your parents warned you of
The one you love to hate and hate to love
A thief, a cheat with all the connections
You look at me and cry because I'm your beautiful reflection
I assure you everything is fine
I tell you, we're all born to die
Addiction and suppression
Conviction and depression
I am no one
I come from nowhere
I come from nothing
Unless you have something to give
No one is going to care
This hurts you more than it does me
I'm the ******* child
Always in the wrong, am I right?
I'm the best at being the worst
Don't pay me any mind
Unless you wanna take this outside
That's where I am
And that's where you'll be safe
It's almost too good to be true
Because it is

Betrayal on both accounts
We are pent up aggression  with no where to go
Look at what we've done not what we haven't
It was all a shot in the dark
Acceptance and a fresh start was the mark
We are all in remission
Have no idea if we got it in us

I can't make out the message
To you truths are nothing but your lies are so precious
But it's our credibility being questioned
Put on an act for moments at a time
Clenched fists and gritted teeth
Tired eyes look at them then in the mirror and fill with tears

Wish my therapist and I were attached at the hip because I can't go it alone
Is this all my own doing or is it done onto me?
My chest is collapsing from my icy shattered heart
I'm in way too deep
We're solving a mystery but haven't a clue
And have no idea what we're made of

       -Tommy Johnson

Shove it in the box
So I can catch a glimpse
Of the soldiers walking home
Going single file
All the way home

Scribble it out
It’s not good enough yet
Hold tight

From the earth and the sea
Pour it on me
So versatile
Your smile

The smallest shell
The toughest to crack
It draws near
The last one born
Coming home
Coming home
What a good story, now close the lid

Stuff your sorry's in a sack
Everything in moderation

You have arms like noodles
Technology and my bladder hate me


It's better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven

I do as I Please
And that tickles my funny-bone

There is a fine line
Between being a party planner and being a clone

I don't go there as much as I used to

It's hard to get on your good side
When I'm just a walking disaster

Friendship shouldn't be broken by misunderstandings
There is no bliss in ignorance

This is going to get worse before it gets better

Go on with this emotional release
Tell me more about me

Get your lufa
I don't want any part of this

Life is a dream for the dead

Good talk. good luck, goodbye and godspeed

You’re something I can’t believe  
Hey there angel, no please go on
I’m so blind I should’ve known
You’d take away all my loneliness
And this is something I can’t help but to confess

My brain melts whenever you’re around
So much to say but I can’t make a sound
You’re my addiction, my only vice
I can’t believe what I see

I can’t believe you’re real
Brighter than the sun
Make my heart skip a beat
I’ve waited for so long

It runs through my head repeatedly
The idea of you just wanting me
And have someone I can call mine
I can’t keep this feeling inside

I never had this feeling before
A girl of such great candor
Your utter being mystifies
You know I just can’t believe
I can’t believe you’re real
Brighter than the sun
Make my heart skip a beat
I’ve waited for so long

Shake my world
Please be my girl

I never had this feeling before
A girl of such great candor
Your utter being mystifies
You know I just can’t believe

I can’t believe you’re real
Brighter than the sun
Make my heart skip a beat
I’ve waited for so long

I’ve known you for quite some time
Who could have known?
I had no idea you be mine
I always hoped

I can’t believe you’re real
Brighter than the sun
Make my heart skip a beat
I’ve waited for so long

Oh there once was a girl
And she wanted it all
But she didn’t know how high the price was

Oh yes it would cost her
Her one eternal lover
But she was selfish and tossed him away
Whoa you can't take it back

And the boy was forgotten
He felt so unwanted
And the girl walked away very happy
Yes but then it struck her
She still wanted her lover
She gotten it all but wanted him too
Whoa you cant take it back

Wanted her cake and to eat it too
Nothing she could do
He was gone forever the fates had him
She had such a tantrum
But didn’t regret what she done
Because she still had everything she wanted
Whoa just don’t you look back

So she had a wonderful time
With her friends and wine
But still had that very empty feeling
She just wanted to be loved
But was not sure what love was
She wondered if it was even real
Whoa just don’t you look back

As for her lover
He tried to forgive her
But knew she was wrong and never loved him

One does not trade another
Especially if it’s a lover
If he went back it would happen again
Whoa the lights fade to black

His trust and loved vanished
The girl and him finished
Still cared but only for a second

He went through a depression
Sadness mixed with aggression
But time heals all wounds even one this huge
Whoa the lights fade to black

And now they both must walk alone
Shows who's deep and who's shallow
I think the answer we know
It was the girl who wanted it all
Who will be the one to fall
The boy wont answer her call
Don’t forgive just forget
Trust me it is for the best
"Power goes to the one who cares less"

But she didn’t know how high the price was

Get on with your lifelong crisis
But know the difference between response and reaction
It's all too familiar
Paper covers rock
Rock smashes scissors
Scissors cuts paper
Mask your bad breath
And get rid of that embarrassing screen name
You've served your time to society
Now go search for that cat with the vast collection of tongues
Reanimate the dead and beaten horse
But don't let yourself get bullied or get thrown under the bus
Stand up and use your great stoicism  
Use that pulley powered propulsion system you call a mind

Now mistakes, I've made a few
It's win or lose
The paths I'd chose
What I thought was right
The choice was mine
And with out insight
I got myself in a jam
What could I do?
I was ******
A condemned man
I take the blame
Full responsibility
I don’t deny or disagree

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow

Is this the end?
Or the beginning?
I've been dealt a *** hand
I never should have answered that call
That way I'd never fall
And no one would sob or bawl
I take the blame
Full responsibility
I don’t deny or disagree

So now I'm back here once again
A place a rehabilitation
To right my wrongs and be forgiven

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow

Now I can see
What must change in me
I'm falling from grace

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow

And now I lay on the ****** pavement
getting kicked again
I faced the odds and lost the bet
I've taken everything for granted
My ways are shifty and slanted
Is my life hexed or enchanted ?

I'm on my way
I'm going down
My true colors are shown
But on this day, something is made
A seed will grow

I brought some wine for us for while we work
But we got too drunk to do anything
Another day perhaps, yes?
I'm sorry

Become what you love
Know what it is you want
Remain positive
Think
Extend yourself to all others
Free yourself from obsession

Look at our food, all dressed up
You better finish it, there's starving kids in Africa
They all took up space, carried dead weight
Not getting any younger
Xerox days constructed by a constant
Countless times, countless lives, make them count
The neighborhood will reimburse you

Focus
Know change is always present
And you are limitless
Make everything clear
Find your motive
Go at it with euphoria
Align yourself
Then achieve

What to do?

Balance the opposites
Karma
Rebirth
Take responsibility for your actions
Trust to your instincts
Accept truth and speak it
Prayer
Meditation
Dare to question

I'll never settle for less than
In this case
Nothing whatsoever
Fun dissension pops up
Name and address withheld
Uphill battle wages on

Feel the vibration
See the wonders of the world
Healing
Purification
Gain your perspective
Be grateful for it
We are all blessed
Protected
Faith
Grace
Unity

Go, grow, go, grow

Love
Joy
Peace

I'm certain of all of this
Call me old-fashioned
In contrast to convey
So uncanny
The ladder and the former
Steam powered
The naked eye has seen everything

Always doing it the hard way

Remain patient
Stay gentle
Always be giving

Our notability

Closed off

The method, the message

Goodness
Confidence

Without alarm we would never wake
The Top dog is not playing dead
The offspring of hope looking for a laugh
Did they see what I heard? It was silent and bright
Quiet

Be humble
Know moderation
Have total control of yourself

They want to go speak to the lawyer
To whom it may concern
Rather speak to the jury
Couldn't be bothered with our testimony
Left them all and walked the earth

Laying awake in my squeaking bed
I cannot sleep, I bash my head
Now my sheets are running red

I cannot stand for this

Like that
Men must man-up

Can you feel the world moving as you sit there sealed within yourself?

This is what you're here for
To discover and learn
Build your own destiny
Decide your fate
Through generosity
Strength
Sacrifice
Your intuition will guide you

Modern harvest
Commercial compensation

Plucking between her eyebrows

Making us dance

Agartha

From me, to you

It's just the wind
It's never just the wind

Could it be?
You would be hard pressed to believe
It will all come to order
Unhindered
It will be natural

Let it come naturally
Body
Soul
Mind
Spirit

The temporary
The permanent
The starts
The stops
The solstice
The equinox
The opening
The closing
The beginning
The end
We are complete
It is finished
It comes back again

I'm not nervous
Fire away
Not too long
But it will be a while
A pity laugh

Unconventional methods of scribbling
I'll tell you again
Symbolic chicken scratch

Compassionate

Stylized specimen
Putting you on

Why do it?
Honest
Full of faith
Going West

State to state
Be sad somewhere else
Alone

Because why not
No one left
Just me
My thoughts

Extinct visions
See the world
Through a spotty car window
Skies, suns, stars, seas

Expand
Reinvent
The charity of the cosmos

I found Quincy Valero
Extrovert
Felonious
Random  

Lets go

Unperplexed or confused?
Fire and ice
Rejection and acceptance
***** and *****

Has no grasp of the underlying meaning
As a meager happy tune come from the mouth
And a barrage of bullets disperse from the automatic
A song of love sung in a whisper as the lives of complete strangers are ended

Undertakers in the delivery room
Can never have enough
Already have too much
A cradle and a coffin to set the mood

Hello
What’s your name?
Where you from?
What do you like?
What do you hate?

I see
Tell me your story
I’m curious
So amaze me
You’re so pretty

Come on
Tell me your sign
You know
We got nothing but time
Don’t send me away
My interest is peaked
Make my day

So please
What’s your talent?
What can you do?
There’s got to be something
Maybe name a few?

Well now
I have no idea
Where this will go
I’m an inquiring mind
Wanting to know

Visually you’re pleasing
And my brain is twitching
From your teasing
Tell me what’s on your mind
Baby we got nothing but time