the thought of another human
falling wholeheartedly in love with me
is absolutely terrifying
because that would mean they would accept me, all of me
all of my beliefs, and faults, and strenghts, and weaknesses
me as a being and as a whole
they would see and look at and accept
and yet throughout all of that they would still love me

the concept of that i will never be able to accept
because there is a lot of me
there is a lot of personality, and thought, and being that goes into being me
i'm a human
and i'm a mess majority of the time
so why would someone look at me and talk to me
and thinks "wow, i absolutely love her"

and what makes it terrifying most to me
is that this human would first have to see the true me
the rough, over thinking, exhausted, emotionally inept me
they will see every inch of my soul and my existence
and they will see that not everything is exactly as i present it

and that is what is most shocking about it
to know that someone i absolutely adore does the same to me
throughout everything that i am
they still love me and accept me

the most beautiful possession of mine
are the photos i have of you
lying in my room, your beautiful face laughing
walking in the woods, admiring the sunset
sitting in front of the fire, relaxing in the warmth
you as a human are the most gorgeous thing i have ever seen
and to have marks of you in my life
is the most magical thing i've ever experienced
you've become my muse
all because of your beautiful photos
of your angelic existence

i truly which that more people my age
were shown the true beauty of poetry
i wish we were more informed of its true impact
i wish we were taught the classic poets
who did that for a living and could do that
i wish we were taught what it truly is
and not just something that rhymes
i wish that more people my age
could truly understand and adore the art that is poetry
because being a poet and writing it is so much more
than what society perceives it to be
because poetry has so much emotion and thoughts behind it
and i wish that society could understand the true art behind it

i hope that all people never forget
their own self worth
that everyone is worth all the things in the world
regardless of their relationship status
outside of this relationship you are still you
you are still a capable human being
you are capable of doing wonderful things my dear
i hope you never are confined to title of someones partner
because you are and will always be more than that
and yes, relationships may be nice
but you should never, ever, ever forget
that no one's hand will ever fit yours quite as nicely as your own

this world is full of lonely people
some of these people are surrounded by others
some of them are surrounded by no one
there are a lot of lonely people
i think that the world just excretes loneliness
and it comes to us like a disease
after that it doesn't go away
it stays, and it travels like the common cold
we are all reeking in the fumes of our loneliness
and there's nothing we can do about it
except sit, smile, and get used to it
we're all lonely people surrounded more other lonely people
we just don't even realize that we are

My whole life I've always been the side character
And in most of my friendships have been terrible
Mostly because the out of the few a few have been just horrible to me
But even along with that I've always just been the side kick
I've always been so and so's best friend
That's all I've always been
Every time someone greeted me and I said my name
I got "Oh, name's friend."
I felt very small, but I was comfortable
Because it was all I had ever known
I always knew to keep my opinions quiet so I wouldn't lose them
I always knew to just listen in on conversations
And I always knew to smile whenever I was called the side kick
So when my best friend of 7 years moved away
And I had no friends whatsover
It was weird just being called Hannah
It was terrifying not having friends but it was liberating to be me
It was liberating to be recognized as a human and not as an accessory
And it was then that I realized I was always a side character
In my own life i was playing the **** side character
And I also realized I loved being the lead
I now make it a point to be equals in all relationships
With friends, partners, and all people
Because I know how horrible it is to be belittled
And I want all people to realize how amazing the main stage is

I wish that sometimes I could pause life
I wish that I could just take a break from all of this
I just need some time
To get through all of this
I need time to stop feeling like this all of the time
I need to feel something, anything at all
It's been like this for months
I just need to pause everything
So i can get through this
If only I could