Dear self,

I can lose myself,
But I´ll never lose my worth
I can be drown in an dark ocean,
But I´ll never lose my dignity
I can waste a lot of time
But I´ll never stop the clock
I can break my heart,
But it´ll always be great
I can make the wrong choices
But I won´t lose my voices
Life is right & left
Up & down
Glad & sad
Good & bad
Any other way
I will never ever lose my worth

You breathe words down my neck,
that there's no gold found on me,
that instead of gold my fingers leave dirt behind,
that my tangled hair reminds you of weeds in the garden,
that my legs are filled with bumps and scars,
that my stomach protrudes too far,
that my thighs are too robust,
that hair on my skin is only the devils invention.

The brown skin you press against,
is far from the vibrant soft metal of gold,
you'd remind me time and time again,
and I'm lucky that there's a fool looking for me.

And I,
for the first time
in a very long time,
heard the birds sing
and felt the wind against my face
and only had one thought:
"This life is so beautiful."

And I,
for the first time
in a very long time,
allowed myself to breathe
and let go of my worries.
And I looked up at the sky
and it was so clear.

Clearly I,
for the first time
in a very long time,
loved myself
and chose myself
again.

You broke her.
She couldn’t go a day without crying.
But it wasn’t because she missed you.
It was because she missed herself.
She didn’t know where she was and it took forever to find her.
You suffocated her, nearly killed her.
But the crack of light she thought was blinding her
became the beckon of hope she never knew she needed.
She crumbled your jagged walls of isolation to the ground
and now nothing can constrain her.
You hate seeing her happy,
but that’s not anything new, is it?
Your weight no longer keeps her beneath you.
She’s always been stronger, better, worth more.
It’s a shame you knew before she did.
She could have avoided you all together.