When he's gone, I'm not well...
I wonder where is that protective shell?
I wonder where he is...
I wonder when will he ever read this?
I hope I will survive until he comes back...
I know it is my best friend that I lack...
Without him, I'll die...
Right now I want to cry...
But my tears may not flow...
I just can't let it happen right now...
It's hard to wait...
It is getting late...
But I can't stop thinking of my one friend...
I wonder when this eve will come to an end?

18:
Probably at midnight...
I will give my sister a fright...
She will scream high...
As she thinks she's gonna die...
I will laugh very mercilessly...
Then she will cry helplessly...
And when I dissappear...
I am someone to fear...
For my stubbornness goes beyond death itself...
My evilness is in great wealth...
So beware...
I'm there...

What has happened to my dear friend?
Has his life come to an end?
I so dearly hope he is fine...
My inner light doesn't want to shine...
I wonder if I lost my heart forever?
Why does it feel like I come from the nether?
Am I just dreaming?
Or does it feel like my heart is dying?
Maybe it is dead already?
Maybe that is the reason why I feel heavy?
Is someone able to fix it back?
Is it my best friend which I lack?
Maybe Gabriel knows what must be done?
Maybe he knows why I feel so alone?
It feels like time has captured me...
I have no idea what I must be?
Sad?
Mad?
Scared?
It all feels so weird.....
I wish Gabriel was sitting beside me...
I wish he could make me see...
I wish he would wipe away a tear...
I wish he would call me his "dear"...
I'm literally sitting alone in the dark of the night...
And there are no stars or moon to give light...
I feel rejected by everyone...
Maybe it is because I am alone?
My dreams seem so far out of reach...
They seem so dull and they have turned bleach...
Why is there no one for me in my darkest moment?
Why do I feel broken and bent?
I know Gabriel would help me somehow...
But he is not here right now...
What have I been doing all these years?
Why am holding back tears?
Why am I stuck to the ground?
Why does gravity keep me bound?
Why can't I fly like birds in the sky?
Why can't I go so high?
Why is my life so confusing?
Why is my character so boring?
Why do I only realize now how much Gabriel means to me?
Why did I make him so very angry?
Why did I let go?
What should I do?

I miss the good days...
But I must choose between ways...
And whatever I choose...
No matter if I go loose...
I will stay like a ghost...
Roaming Belgium the most...
Why do I feel so lonely?
Why do I feel so empty?
Why do I feel so dead?
Is something wrong with my head?
Why do I feel so stuck?
Have I run out of luck?
What has happened to my emotions?
What is wrong with my actions?
Am I fading out of existence?
Have I spoiled my last chance?
Have I lost my way away from the herd?
So many questions which are unanswered...
Luckily they don't drive me crazy...
Because I have someone in this world that makes me happy...
He lifts great lifts from my shoulders...
He is so unlike others...
He is funny...
And when he is angry...
I know he can become sorry...
He is so lovely...
He is so trustworthy...
We were both so lonely...
But then we met each other...
And then happen the wonder...
We laughed together...
Our lives turned to the better...
We had imaginary adventures...
We had pet vultures...
We rode in battle side by side...
We didn't even think about where to hide...
But now...
I wonder where he will go?

Oh, Gabriel where are you now?
I need to talk to you, but how?
You are so far...
I hope you are not at war?
I am just so desperate...
Is it already too late?
It is past noon...
And I wonder if I shall see you soon?
Will time bring it along?
Or am I totally wrong?
Time drags past so slow...
But I want to see you now...
Why can't I teleport?
Or will that hurt?
I don't care a thing...
I would do anything...
Just an hour with you to talk...
Remember when we went for a walk?
I cherish those precious memories...
Sometimes it is like a bunch of lies...
As if it never happened...
But then I get reminded...
The letter you wrote...
Or shall I call it a note?
I can't thank you enough...
Every time I go through my media I laugh...
I discovered something and I want to tell you...
You made me smile and you still do...
I found out that my heart is still on fire...
Even though I have tripped over a wire...
You helped me up to my feet...
And I type this as I feel my heart's heat...
I am sure of it now...
Don't ask how...

I got tired of trouble...
And I turned my back on all the rubble...
Now I'm feeling better than before...
I'm going to take a few steps more...
Even though I fell from the sky...
I got up again to try...
I'm going to run once more to fly...
I was soaring so high...
But then I hit the harsh reality...
And I turned from happy...
To hurt and sad...
I missed the lad...
The last few days it's not so bad anymore...
I'm just worried that he will wither to his core...
But I don't think so...
I must decide whether I stay or go...
I want to stay...
But maybe I'm looking the wrong way...?
Maybe I should go far away...?
Maybe I should fly night and day...?
Maybe another guy is meant for me...?
But where could he be...?

Don’t worry about our lives
Were doing just fine
So don’t worry when we cry
Or get high
Because we all want to touch the sky
Sometimes.

You may not see the damage,
but it's there
beneath smiles and politeness
deep inside the laughter and
within every crevice of joy
lives doubt

You may not know you caused it
but don't deny it
inside every tear and worry
deep inside the sorrow and
within every doubt
you live