i am afraid,
someone will not like me.
that someone will judge me.
that someone might look at me and think,
she makes my life miserable.

"Whats wrong"
                       I can't tell, is the water on my face rain or tears?
                           I can't say it out loud! Please read it in my eyes....

"Can you just not be so **** sad for once?"
                          The wind claws at everything, a welcome pain.
               I'm trying! Can't you see the effort? Oh stars, it HURTS!

"You can talk to me..."
                             I look away, I cannot bare the pain in your eyes.
                           Oh darling I know, I want to but... I can't.

"Talk **** it."
                            Your eyes are hard now, your angry with me, please don't be mad.
                        Don't you see? My voice betrayed me!

"You know, you make it hard to love you sometimes."
                              The song playing is fitting "I'm searching for something that I can't reach."
                               Your words are cutting me. Stripping me to the core, please for the love of God, don't say you can't love me anymore...

I will never admit to my faults
i will never admit that sometimes
you seem too much to handle and my brain goes into overdrive
and pounds, oh my god does it pound

louder than my heart against my rib cage when you say my name
harder than a jackhammer hitting concrete
a constant pounding, fuelled by this almost
palpable fear that you're just too good
and good never stays so I am waiting for you to leave
like the rest of them

I'll never admit to you
that I'm terrfied
and that sometimes tears fill my eyes
and my hands shake
and I get cold before I have to see your face
because I am so terrified of these
feelings? I guess they can be called that,
but they feel more like daggers rather than anything else.

they say that infatuation shouldn't feel painful
but my god it is
even writing this my heart is hurting
and that is what i cannot understand

why i have to make something that feels so safe
into a danger zone
in which, i am bound to get hurt
but this time, it feels like I am the perpetrator
of the mass destruction that is to come
and I don't know how to stop it.

The head tilts I usually face
After every troubled story
Are vanished

It seems, I’ve felt loneliness
And came back
To a good-minded woman
Who listens well
But doesn’t want to ignore
My hurt feelings
She just wanted to see more
Better things to happen
To the person she talks to

She chatted for a long time
Knew the truth about me
When in return, she taught
Several other valuables
That can cost trust and love
And some times, even life

What is the matter with me?
When I connect, I tend to abort
I lean to intentions
That makes a man a beast
That pollutes the calmness
Around us
I don’t want to be that person
And you’ve always balanced me

Until now,
You haven’t even been near me
But in my heart lies, your soul
And mine, in yours

Once I thought,
"THE WORLD IS FULL OF dumb HYPOCRITES"........
I criticized them....
The next moment...
I turned to look back...
Nd there I saw was.....
MY OWN FACE.....in the mirror!
Nd....guess what!
I was speechless!......

Hi there
I believe we've met
I saw you sitting all the way over
                             next to me, quiet.
"Are you ok?" - I ask because I care
tearing apart myself
can't bear to not remember
I need to ask you better questions
questions like "Are you ok?"
                           Am I ok?
I'm so bad at conversation and I am
robotic and expressionless but
you help me express feeling that
           screams alive
I saw you sitting all the way over there
so I came closer and
put my arm around you
and you...
                   flinched