I cannot tell you
The remedy to your emptiness,
But I can share with you
That of a treatment of mine.
It can be hearing of progress
On any front
In the forms of beautiful ideas
And new expressions,
The world of us humans.
Of newfound love
In many kinds of companionship
Whether by person or by animal,
Or even by plant.
Of new discovery
Which betters our understanding
About the fundamentals of the universe,
Like walking in the wild;
Cherishing all that is natural.

Being a humble observer
In the courts of law
Under honorable nature.

Just by being an animal.

I am an ant in a needle eye.
A spot taken, oh so small,
But filled with my eternity.
A passage blocked
By my being—content
With feeling whole.
A nook to fit daydreams;
Not grains of nightmares.
Insignificance unattached
From a speck worth a world.

Considering hostility
    I feel violent.
Considering wonder
    I am awed.

I heard a French widow
say that there is
someone in each of us
    who loves
and someone in each of us
    who kills.

My walk to freedom;
There is no tomorrow.
Yesterday is gone.
There is only here, now.
Let the forest speak:
The mountains and the water,
Hear their voices, they become
pathways to wholeness, giving you
Freedom in thought.

I was the crescent moon, a sliver in the night,
Yet in his gaze, I found a radiant light.
He saw me whole, beyond my fragmented part,
Love's alchemy, merging soul to heart.


In phases of shadows, incomplete and bare,
His eyes unveiled the beauty hidden there.
A crescent's curve, a tender, silver arc,
Yet in his vision, a masterpiece embarked.


His love, a symphony, the missing tune,
Transforming fragments into a whole monsoon.
I, the crescent moon, in his orbit swayed,
Completeness found in the love we portrayed.


Through waxing and waning, love remained,
A cosmic dance where wholeness was gained.
In his embrace, the crescent found its grace,
Love's magic turning fragments into an embrace.

Tale of the none, with silence
The risks we endeavor, are forever?
And a daydream, that has a moment to suffice
Create me an avid soul, shrewder thoughts for lovers...

People of charming since
And guarantee's hence, with a smile
Of recourse, I will know a rage, insight lends
The times of virtue in calm, and duty to shyness...

Mercy in a carried few
Witnessing the gifts and presence of mind
With the senses of curiosity come patience, we due
To a passion of simply asking for help, in time

Allied solace, the terms and needs of equity
Privileged intuitions of a charity in call, and prowess
The turn of composure into gold, absentia in divinity
Suggesting hope, is a long cool look at love we guest

Many days like these
Energy in forms we can understand
Solitude forth a response, to aging tomorrows we please
First and foremost, the basis of comparison to answer a land

My needs are my promise
Salutations in couth, the liberty to accept austerity
With the sincerity of kind, a sharing seemliness of the wise?
And to a shrewder how in the season of now, the candidness of disparity?

Compartmentalized;

..An elevated view  of you
shows booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,
after booth, after booth,

.. after booth, after booth
   Each one  partitioned  with

an impenetrable  curtain
hanging off of  a bone-frame
stainless steel  pipe structure,
Built high enough  for the
different parts  of you
to sense, but not   feel..

what part of you
is in the other booth.

   Problem is,

You want and expect
me to orbit around it all
as if each isolated part
   is,  in itself..
actually the whole you..
when I know it is  only
a  tremendously-lonely
    part of the whole.
And you take love  to be
some form of blindness
  on my part

--to the elephant in the room,
And I tell you I love you..
And I tell you,  

               "No.. I won't do it"

--And your shame  kicks in
causing you to  feel
     I'm too harsh..

        or being judgemental.

Yet all along, you are knowing--
That just a few moments  with me..
and the walls come tumbling down.
   .          .          .          .         .          .          

When the partitions  drop
(that is your terror)
(that is your horror)
You will not annihilate
into a million fragments  
   of nothingness

The you(s)..  of you
will meet one another
for the very first time
since you were first  dismembered
(fragmented, so very long ago.)
You will not  disintegrate, love..

You will  Re- integrate.

Love does that.  It does.
But you already know that.
Yet still you hide (.. from me.)


You are addicted  to the 'comfort'
the partitions's isolation brings.
Your relationship is not with
the sum of the parts  as a whole..
but with the internal  "construct"  within you--
  the chasm..  the gap..  

--the empty space between those parts;
as it uninstalls one part of the intricate you
and re-installs the next

And you have no idea   how to
   orchestrate
the many different parts  of you
   like a conductor would do
   with his orchestra..   therefore,

You can only be in relationship
with one part of yourself at a time--
..Each partitioned  'self'
has an e-mail address
Each one  has
a separate account  of its own..
Each one,  within itself..   convinced
that it carries within itself
its own, separate genetic imprint

Each one,  you can  milk  
within its incompleteness
     as if it in itself,   is complete--
    .. Flaunting it, flaunting it;  
    as though it is the complete you
  while all other necessary  parts of the whole
  remain dangerously dormant..
   --being Unholy-ghosted  by

    whatever currently-visible part of you
    now  has control of the ship.


--And throughout the years
I am expected to weather the storm
and gather  pieces,  from pieces..
and then magically (oh.. I can..)
piece them all together as I speak to you
without you having to even  feel
the tension (absurdity)  of the
mis-placed  accountability
   (and responsibility)
    to enter into love
    as a Whole (the sum of many parts)

And so here I am..  orbiting    
    orbiting  orbiting--
around your ever-changing  mood swings;
        the   "Paul-is-good,"  one day
        and  "Paul-is-bad,"  the next,
       (those ever-changing perspectives,
       gaslighting.. gaslighting.. gaslighting)
   --in order that you might  remain   'the same'
   based on whatever current-visible  part of you
   is currently at the helm..

       The current pilot of the ship
       wholly unaware of the leadership styles,
       opinions and views of that  of the last.  
Harsh sounding.. I know..
(but you know..)

And so, here's the rub--

You are feeling your days
to be numbered..
You have been around me
too long, love.
(that is your fault)   You knew.

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4159831/tourniquet-smiles-yeah-that/

I wrote that  such a long time ago


We are getting closer to Home, love.
I wrote this strange little ditty
before I wrote that other one..

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3383529/fragments/

What you have feared  most
has now given way
to the sound of inevitability

   (You should have ran
             ..but you didn't.)


..The sound of inevitability
 isn't really a sound at all..

..It is the  sound of you  still
  standing there.❤

My friends,
We try to stay safe through doing what is familiar
By avoiding those places of pain and discomfort within ourselves.
And we may stay safe...
Safe within the walls of our self constructed prison
Safe in our loneliness and isolation
Safe in the same old patterns which keep us narrow, small...
But safe.

And in this place we fear to open the unlocked door to our own liberation...
We fear to step out into the light
Because we know that to find our glorious presence
We must travel through some dark corridors in our minds
Through some fearful rooms within our soul.
Confront places of pain in our hearts
And release the tears which are trapped there.

Lean into the mystery
my friends.
Lean into the discomfort...
It may be that there is a force there to support you
That you will remain buoyant as the winds of life flows past around and through you.

But it may be that as you lean... you fall....

You may fall into the abyss of mystery and unknowing.
Fall into a new and unknown space,
Where you do not know who you are
Or what to do next...
And in that dark obscured space you must feel you way forward with your heart,
Step into your wholeness and be guided by that deep ancient force with in you
Your old familiar ways will not work here.

What will you find there?
Deep in that space of mystery
That none may charter except for yourself
What new wonders will be uncovered?
What new gifts are waiting?
If we only have the courage to abide with our selves
If even for a moment?
How will you know unless you take a deep breath.
Still your mind
And lean forward into that Abyss...

Lean my friends and find out...