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ash Jun 6
i remember
a memory —
it isn't mine.
someone else's.

being the kid we used to be
(yes, i'm writing it in their pov)
we drank lemonade under the summer sun,
watched the bulb in the sky brighten,
heard the promises of forever
where no voice resonated.

echoes of my woes
learned to yearn within these walls.

it's a contrast: sweet, distant, aching.
have you ever heard of feeling nothing —
like the silence after chaos,
a void so deep,
there seems to be nothing it's composed of at all?
an absence that has screamed louder since its presence.

i listen to skyfall as i write,
and no, the sky hasn't fallen —
but it seems it would have felt better if it did.
a way to express what i feel deep inside,
since the breaking.

there are regrets.
like a flower blooms under the sun,
my regret bloomed under the skin of love,
whispered between lines,
composed of all the maybes it could have been —
the ideas, the fantasies,
versions of you that never came to just be.

perhaps i'd dreamt different —
not of someone,
but of how things seemed to me.

but it's nighttime, and i sit,
and like a building collapsing, i think —
stars falling, heavens opening, illusions crashing,
my heart strengthening.
it rubs painfully against the chest — or so.
i wish it hurt just a little bit more,
for i feel it tends to lack intensity.

how you simply waved a goodbye —
i felt it like waves in the sea.
yours was late, brief —
mine drowned, delivered me to the ending.

i have my window open.
i'll try to describe the night sky.
it still seems impossible,
like it did that night.

the stars — they watched me silently.
maybe they witnessed the fall as well.
and then i wondered —
did i even know it all that well?

maybe they were the lovers who never made it home.
maybe they were the parallels to what was meant to be alone.
i kinda hoped it'd be one way —
either you'd become a star, or me, or us together.
and whoever remained would have watched it
as we grew old together.

alas, what remains of it now?
the memories, the hauntings —
are they simply the nothings in between the heavier things?

wave after wave,
they take me with them,
bring me back
to where i began.

we were kids once,
with lemonade hearts —
not the sugary kind,
but the one filled with zest and a spark.

the sky remembers all that i've forgotten.
the same track on repeat —
i wish i'd heard it the night that brought me to hit rock bottom.

i want to write and write and write
and let it devour you and me
and all the eyes that ponder over these words whole.

for that nothing
felt like everything for a moment.

and i can't believe
you missed out
on becoming the lovers —
the ones i dreamt for us to be.



that was indeed just the end, then.

like the sounds of tires on gravel
when the track twists just right —
hold—wait—stop—
i need to catch up to my memories.
but what of all the ones you left with?
bled into them: the last gaze, the lasting wounds.
oh, look — it crumbled.

had you promised to stay
and followed it through,
i'd have torn the sky apart
with bare hands,
set ablaze all those who came in our path.
but alas, easy way out —
i saw nothing (that was enough then),
never saw beyond you
(but now i see all of you).

and i shall wash away,
off the shore, at the edge of the boat.
i shall let go and watch.
you've slipped from my hands
like dust in between fingers.
the sandglass broke,
so did the beats at which my heart spoke.
i wish you the best.
i shall hope you find rest
in places that aren't filled with me.

it's a closure,
it's my closure —
turns out,
that's all i've ever seeked.
got the words, made the prompt, wrote something- i think i entered a different head.
Hall Jun 5
I had not thought my face would ever
seek the sanctuary of my hands,
but there it was,
not bowed in grief,
not merely mourning
the life unlived,
the love deferred by fear,
but wrecked by something else:
the animal heat
of language gone rancid,
the static hiss of what I said
when the body was full
and the soul was not watching.

I remembered, yes, remembered
that there was once a chance
for tenderness to grow untainted,
if only I had spoken
with less theatre,
more skin.

And now, this morning,
the carcass of words
I do not recall releasing
lies curled in green bubbles,
sweat-slicked commands,
the syntax of a stranger
panting in my name.

I read them once,
and again,
then never.

There is a violence in revision.
There is no such thing
as un-saying.

And so, palms;
these awkward altars
receive my penitent skull,
not to hide
but to listen
to what silence might have said
had I let it speak first.
alex May 12
what if I’m waiting
for something that will never come,
what if I was not who I am,
what if I never questioned

what if I don’t want to look on prospects drear
what if I want to be the mouse, not man-
who only lets the present toucheth thee,
to not be a human
that guesses an’ fears.
What if I accept that
even the best laid schemes
gang aft agley,
that often my whimsical dreams
are to keep my actions at bay
tucked under my hat,
kept from leading me astray
because after all Burns said,
in proving foresight might be vain.

And maybe a humans life is what I was destined to get,
but I will not be stopped yet,
though plans may falter and not be met
I will keep here set
In my human form of pain and regret.
Deaneira Feb 12
i’m a functioning mess
or am i too depressed to move in this life like a chess?

am i not worthy enough,
or am i too stiff to fit in a formal-attire environment?

i thought i had made my best moves
but oh i forgot i am not the only writer in this life
as i breath the air that we are in, i feel suffocated, caged, and confused

i think i am too dumb and too numb
so i burn myself in the hearth of fire
they say “do not self-diagnose”
but i sink, quietly, into the idea of death

hey mom, your daughter’s not herself anymore
she forgot how to make important conversations
and lost her mind in the abyss of emotions
i guess my sadness is not worthy to be known in the media
so i’ll be leaving a lot of trivia

i befriended my worst of self and let her live
she laughs at me and i let her thrive
i don’t think i am deserving
i feel like i am abdicating
instead of sky-rocketing

should i turn back to where once i felt safe?
or has the door closed behind me, locked with the grace of my own farewell?

i promised not to go back, because i’d make nothing out of my old life
i just let myself sit in my room, zoning out with my own intrusive thoughts

my mind drowns in the ocean of “what ifs”
twisting itself to the past,
rewriting memories at speed i can’t control
too much what ifs leads to overthinking
and i am suffocating

i wanted to sit down and tell Him my stories
but too ashamed since i have a lot of unsaid sorries

the prayer mat stays untouched,
like a letter i was too afraid to send
i am a never-ending guilt-ridden, self-sabotaged being
all i do is weeping
counting apologies i don’t know how to speak
hazem al jaber Nov 2024
What if ...



What if we met ...

After the absence ...

On the balconies ...

of distances ...

And gathered us ...

The longings ...

And nostalgia ...

To talk ...

Anew again ...

About memories

That left ...

Past ...

Enveloped by years ...

With the most beautiful words ...

and whispers ...

On that river bank...

There ...



what if the time stopped ...

even for a few moments ...

until we meet again ...

As we always did ...

through ...

An imagination's mummeries ...



hazem al ...
What could have been?
It’s something that crosses my mind every once in a while,
And no matter how hard I try not to,
I always end up thinking about it.

Would it have worked if I walked up to him?
If I had complimented his pretty smile and beautiful poetry?
If I had stared a little longer than just a glance, would he have noticed me?
Would me just being blunt, and confessing to him get me the reciprocation I wanted?
Would that have gained me the pretty boy with personality, that now haunts me like a ghost in campus hallways?

What could have been?

If I followed through with my plans to get him,
Would I currently be calling him?
Would we be exchanging good morning texts and poems if I had listened and just talked to him?

What could’ve been?

If I had wished him more than good luck,
would I be wishing him a safe return when he leaves?
Would I be sharing with him my deepest of thoughts, and all the love I put into my poetry?
If I was honest would our story be one for the books?
If I played my cards right, would he have been mine?

What could have been?
It’s something I can’t help but think about.
The thought lingers around my mind the same way he lingers around my heart
What could have been?
For the boy with pretty brown eyes I let pass by
It's hard to see from so far away-
at least, from what I can tell,
you are happy.
Happier? Probably.
Lounging in the 9th stratosphere,
maybe even so far as
just past the moon.
And who wouldn't take that trip?
The most I could offer was a pig
and some ****.

Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe you would have lived life on the ground
but I never believed it.
Never wanted to squish you down to earth
and keep you contained,
bursting at the seams beside me,

waiting for you to understand what I had always known:
The ground under your feet was as needed
as the wind through your fingers,
the sea in your lungs
and the stars in your eyes.
And that you were always going to leave.
thyreez-thy Jun 2024
I got the message today, the finality is alarming
How all veils have been removed, as its regarding
Or would be love story, If I could be the One
Who takes you to see the moon and not get boiled by the sun

I shiver, I cry, I hope you didn't take to heart
The anger I spewed and the hope it doesnt break us apart
I came like a volcano, and you a Tsunami
Only now does it dawn for me how you're so far from me

I said thing to instill a reaction
But instead of satisfaction
I get the realization that this extended vacation
will be our dedication to what was and will never be

A girl and a boy manage to become best friend
But boy falls in love and girl follows suite
Unknowing they'd be each others rock, person
Now one stands firm and the other uncertain


Does it end tonight, do angered words repel honeyed apologies?
Can love conquer all and fulfill their destiny?
Do they become ones Soul mates to now polar opposites
Or day even more distant, now used to be's and Pessimists?
A poem on a current situation, a sequel of sorts to whale call, it hurts to type this all.
leeaaun Feb 2023
what if you are not
the only one
waiting
for
love?

what if your
soulmate
has been
destined
with the
same
wait?

will you consider
the possibility
of this
what if?
emily Oct 2022
I am often told that i give up too quickly
But the answer is I never fully give in to begin with
I keep my admiration locked away like a precious jewel
All my love is just unsent postcards I keep in a packed suitcase.
I am afraid to give in to my heart
Because what if my heart is lying to me?
What if my heart is playing a cruel trick on me?
What if the nervous beating of my heart is just the roller coaster I have yet to leave.
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