i think my heart is too bold because i have feelings that i forbade to be told. no matter how hard i’ve tried, they’re starting to come out of the cold and they’ve began to unfold. i wish i could put them in a box and say they’ve been sold but these feelings are gold and i can’t let them go. it’s so hard knowing the things that i know. i know: you’re the hand i can’t hold, you’re my truth be untold. you’re the one i love and can’t have but i can’t let you go and i can’t let you know...though i’ve told you before, you dunno what i’m feeling deep down in my core. i know i’m not “easy” to handle but i won’t be a bore. these feelings are hard but i’m begging for more, i’m down on the floor because my head and my heart have started this war and it’s hard to ignore, you’re the one i adore...but i’m not gonna implore, that would be wrong and make you walk out the door. i’m just gonna keep feeling these feelings and begin to explore and see if there’s anything more to us and maybe i’ll be one you fall for, til then i’ll just hope to be yours.

My knuckles turn white from holding onto a foraged memory of an existence of what we used to call hope and it will shout into the void, echos of shadows that dance in the back of my brain that circumstance could not fore see that picture of us hanging from inside a two story house somewhere lost in rural California where white lace suffocated your skin and red silk flowed over the scars of my past lovers there is a smile that is shown under neath a cascade of fabric which displays a world in which you to could have wanted that white picked fence in the home we built in our dreams but reality is like a hurricane and eases all the evidence of what was once love