I'm falling down gently,
Gently into the void.
I know now slumber beckons,
But I work to keep my stride.

The lessons learned in life,
The ideas with which I've toyed,
Seem so minuscule in retrospect,
Before, before this void.

I used to care so much,
Anxiety was paramount,
What is all this going on?
The pain only surmounts.

I'm searching—
Hope begins to crumble.
My heart breaking—
I stagger and fumble on.
And, there,
Up upon this mount,
It’s brightness shines!
The light I see!
How foolish
—Blind!—
It was
—Of course!—
All along in me,
This slyly hidden, plain-view, visible key
Turning to unlock the secret of my ’I’ mystery.

It had always been but a flicker,
This firefly of my mind.
I stumble on now towards it,
Weariness defined.

Reaching out, I grasp it.
A soft smile brightens my brow;
I shrug off the shackling pain,
Rise from my burdened bow,
Standing up above the corner
Of one of this road’s many rolling bumps,
Where someone in the mirror once told me
I’d never even master the jump.

So I fly high now,
My destiny, the what I was searching for,
Clear in core, please—my people—
Prepare for all that I have in store.
Now I know,
Yes, I know for sure,
I will toil, toil nevermore.

I think I see
See the evil inside of me

It is no demon
Or wicked wishes

Its the absence of true love

That really brings out the worst in me

But the most frightening thing is,
she is not afraid to turn her back around the world;
Shutting the universe out,
keeping herself in isolation.
She thinks it is the path to peace and quietness,
but instead,
it was an illusion to the void.
— Y.H.

Void,
gentle fervor.

hello again--

i fell off the "write everyday because it's good for you" wagon
and instead have been reading,
and doing yoga
and trying not to wish for death,

and endless nebula of darkness and void space
cosmic light exploding over in over in the reaction
of night,
this black goes on
inside my head
this pulsing of "should i be here"
"is there a point"
"can i really do anything to change the world"

so i just float through,
sipping coffee and reading Dracula
and hoping that it's enough
for now--