The chains binding
Have been broken
I still have the cuffs
I may be walking free
But my hands are still weighed down
Now I’m finding
Me, myself and I

I wish to see clearer
Past imperfection
Yet, chains are heavy
Even after they have been broken

Look in the mirror
I hate my reflection
I feel infected
Self-hate as my infection
Have I lost my direction?

"No, you aren’t the definition of perfection
That doesn’t mean to hate your reflection
Maybe you have lost your direction
You see you have to be lost before you become found
Don’t forget you no longer have a need to be bound
You have been crowned
There is no one just like you
A ruler of yourself you are
When you look at the night sky
Admire the stars
You are a star"

I try to forget everything and
Dissolve in my surrounding
I listen to different voices
Each voice has it's own role in my story
The birds chirping in the morning reminds me of the time
When we were holding hands in the dawn
The sound of traffic reminds me of the time
When we were walking down the street holding hands
The voices of couples talking reminds me of the time
When we used to talk to each other
I listen to your voice calling me
May be it's hallucination
But I just get up and smile
I listen to the voices and
Each one of them reminds me
The different parts of the incomplete story of mine

long ago
the dead would drink
from a certain river to forget
their mortal lives

shades and silent voices
populated blank shores
as the dead patiently
waited to forget

their memories vanished into
thin air
yellow heavens
sparkling bits of color
would lighten up
the dark lights of day

shadows scurried from place
to placelessness
voices sighed and you couldn't
tell if it was the sound of last breaths

I hear voices,
Sounds are striking the inner walls of my head.
Alot is going in my life,
But I'm happy to wait.
I'm happy to wait,
For the things to be okay again.
My mind needs some peace,
I wanna throw out the pieces that are piercing it.
I wanna shut the voices up that I hear,
But I'm afraid to dare.
I'm afraid of being lost in this vast world,
That is full of fake people with fakeness in everything.

I am repaying my
wounded soul a visit

A distant voice tells me
“I am no longer welcome here”

There is this memory of you and I...a time when all we did was graced...all  that was said was gold and all we felt was the blood of the earth and the sky pumping through our veins
... Simply meant to be  
  
Now the lines are blurred like the ripples in the water.  I can't see clearly anymore I can't see the defined lines.   I don't know the rules and I'm tired.   I want to know your love and I wish that you could want it as much as I do
But the blood of the earth ran dry and the sky is covered in grey.  
... simple rantings of the forlorn  
  
Time has stolen the youth on my face. It is taken away moments that can't be recaptured. They say hope will heal that.   I'd like to believe that hope still existed, that there is a higher purpose to be found in these moments of solitude and void. I want to believe... so very bad .
...simply my belief lands on you  
  
Sadness is irrrelevant here. The madness of letting go of the wants and needs of the mind and the heart... leaves me in shallow water  wandering constantly.  It's the memories and dreams that  make me sad. Thats what takes me into that dark night of the soul where I question everything.  
... simple renderings  
  
Ankle deep in shallow water... blurred, ripples with each  movement...  I doubt if I could drown here even though they say it only takes a teaspoon of water.
  
Where I feel my air getting cut off from my body is in the moments when I think of our future...the one we can't have because it's been blocked by fear.

How foolish can two people be to let go of those kind of dreams? Maybe we're just the kind of people that like to feel pain, that like to drown in sadness while pretending...that we're all ok.
...simply it's not ok
  
So today we turn another blank page...while the pen has run dry. The words of all been spoken... so the heart and the voice have fallen asleep...shh

The voices in my head are louder than all the others,
they say I'm pretty,
pretty enough to sell my body,
pretty enough that I don't need to work.

They tell me I am strong,
strong enough to keep the tears in,
strong enough to hold you
but not let you in to the hidden chambers of my heart.

They say I'm okay,
okay enough that I can keep going,
They say it's all good,
they say it's all true.

But I want to be beautiful for myself,
not for someone else,
I want to be strong with someone,
not for someone,
I want to say I'm okay,
and really mean it.