Im a 2 upper.
Its just what i do.
You one up and one up
And i two up you.
You think you're all clever,
...That your one ups have class.
I could two up in my sleep
And still kick your ***.

You like 55's
Im a cool 57.
Your one up gets you purgatory
My two up gets me heaven
You could 'one up for days'
...I can two up for years
You'll lose every race
I've got two extra gears.

These two extra gears
May not seem like much.
Youre all just the hop
Im the skip and the jump
Youre riding the short bus of witty satire
...Youre playing pickup sticks
Im playing with fire.

Youre stuck in the mud
Youll never get out
Youre one ups are silly
My two ups have clout
I know youre all jealous
...My two up you desire
But accept your defeat
And from one ups, retire.


Im a new kind of genius
And now that its past.
You can take one of my two ups
And put your one up your *.
its all in good fun
...I mean you no harm
Who'd think someone so clever
Grew up on a farm.

Your one ups drink warm milk
And tip toe off to bed.
My two ups shoot whiskey
And smoke cigs in the shed.
Your one ups wake up crying
...And screaming for mom.
My two ups raise hell till
The nights early dawn.
Your one ups are old news
All wrinkled and grey.
My two ups run like the wind
So stay out of the way
Your one ups might speak german and
Arabic too.
Pero no tienen ritmo
como los que yo hablo do.

(c) 2011 CJG