In blink of an eye your demeanor turns around
Within hurtful remarks self-esteem is drowned
You have the power to make house feel like home
With one blow ease is crushed like walls are made of styrofoam
I long to seal emotions behind bars made of steel
Wounds inflicted by tongue of man take too long to heal
I want to be the person you view potential for
In this room feel the opposite of all you adore
By side I feel privileged being the partner you chose
Pressure is weighing on the roof and steadily it grows
Patiently waiting for me to evolve into the image you desire
Continue striving for perfection but muscles are starting to tire
Pause just a little longer so I can prove my worth
Not only you but also myself
Show purpose on earth
For too many years I have convinced myself I'm not enough
Inner voice whispering I'm ugly because my edges are rough
I see you standing there
I'm so glad to call you mine
A distant star in space you warm skin with your shine
I carry heart everywhere heavy as a stone
Worrying I'll drop it and I'll be left alone
I like how you are a gentleman
Treat me so **** nice
Your touch excited my nerves
Thawing my armor of ice
On top of body
My problems fade away
Long as we're connected I know everything will be okay
Till I am on my deathbed about to meet the reapers touch
Even then I'll have no fear of your hand is there to clutch
I forever will do my very best to witness your handsome smile
May not believe in God but discover myself praying you'll stay awhile
To be cause of your happiness is what I yearn for the most
Whenever we're apart haunt my cranium like a ghost
From gods above to the devils below and all that lies between
Your presence what provides color and vibrance to every single scene
And the meaning I've unveiled since the second we first kissed  
Resulted in realization you're an angel radiating endless comfort and bliss
When I began writing poem I wrestled with a conflicted frustration
Skepticism making it hard to understand your expectations
To reach compromise each must learn how to slightly bend
I'd don a mask for anyone else but for you refuse to pretend
You're the only one able to disarm defenses
I can't help but wonder what it will take to come to your senses
I can only dismiss so much criticism before I snap and lose control
Hate for you to dive in after to rescue me from that hole
To put up with ups and downs I'm sure puts you through hell
Hope my love also feels like a taste of heaven as well

foggy memories arise as the sun speaks
good-morning

peace of mind falls as the moon winks
good-night

                                                 - ups and downs
                                                 a life of balances

                                                      ­                  …

Life is a big road trip

nothing is set in stone, cause
every day is a new sheet of paper

you choose what can make the paper
look good or bad


just like life, it can be you eating a nice meal
or you making bad deals and not getting
the best meal

Life is pain.
But I wouldn't say
I've always felt this way.
Pain is a cruel and hateful teacher,
Demanding I fight for each and every breath.
I'm grateful towards death,
That it will all end at some point.
It's a ******* shame
That life has no real reason or aim.
What a peculiar thing

Please.
Could u find it in your heart
To give me back all those vulnerable moments?
Because I feel so stupid now
I feel stupid for going against every fiber of my being and exposing myself
For daring to say those things that come from a place so deep in my heart that it terrifies me.
Knowing that when they rise to the surface
When they escape the warmth of my chest and meet the warmth of the sun they become real
They become present
And tangible
And I need you to give them back because I regret it now
Because I dared to trust and you did exactly what I expected
Because I spent my life building walls and was so well protected
But I leapt
I dared to love fully and relentlessly
And I was all in so I put it in ink.
I put it in air
I put it in touch
I cemented it in time and space.
And I regret it.
I don't regret the relentless love but I regret letting it see the surface
I regret letting you see all those lisa Frank feelings.
So colorful and magical and childlike
And I'm embarrassed.
Cause in the end you didnt deserve it
But now it's yours
And for the rest of your life you have the privilege of those memories that were birthed from a trust you betrayed
You'll get to look back and see how much I loved you
How hard I loved you
And I'll always see how it was too much
I'll always be mad that I went all in
Yet it wasn't enough for you to go all in for me
Staggering inequity
Now how will I dare to trust again?
How will I not temper the reckless abandon that makes it so exciting?
Love Is easy,
But taking that love. Those words. Those memories
and giving it matter
Depth
Sound
Touch
Color
That's a gift. It's the purest art.
So please just give them back so I can protect it better next time.
I think
Next time I'll just keep love in my heart.

we knew it couldn’t work
i followed her into the hole in my heart and
she built a home there right from the start
she led me to the city’s edge
and i followed right to the end
we kept a mutual knowing between growing distance
between the coffee dates and
stolen glances
and restless ways
we’d wring out our hands
and i knew it couldn’t work
i told them about you
and it felt good, it felt new, it felt different
but i let me get the best of you,
and you faded away with all I couldn’t give you
our love was as good as dead and
we didn’t last anywhere
just in new york, in my dreams
in the world in my head

in a couple of years time ill ask if you understand
and we’ll do it all again
knowing we’re done before it ends