if you would look close,
you would see the agony kept inside my chest
and dead butterflies killed by myself ages ago
you'd see the unspoken thoughts
repetitively playing like music in my ears
no one can hear
you'd recognize my shadows dancing on papers of unwritten poetry
kept inside my treasure of hope
you'd understand the scribbled words written on the walls of my heart secretly wanting to be noticed just by someone who looks close enough

but if you decide to look closer,
you'd see the pain running through my veins demanding be felt in every inch of my body
you'd see the little girl that lives inside me
still trying to be let free
you'd see the hatred trying to be restrained by the idea of destiny & that tomorrow will be better
and the whisper in the back of my head always telling me that it is not good enough yet
but after all,
you'd still think it's pathetically miserable
what a wreck i actually am
you'd never think i'm worth reading
never worth looking closer
and you'd put me next to all the unfulfilled stories remaining in the shelf of yours
and always kept in mind that some day
you may rummage in your old books
and find me again

never fall asleep
or never wake up
that way you never dream
satisfied when it's crushed

the idea of you
weighs me down.
sinking to the bottom of the ocean,
I attempt to quiet the commotion,
of my emotions.
my heart is too frail,
to withstand the hail,
that your being releases upon me.