Revenge is just like chasing ghosts...

Live with it for too long in your heart and you’ll just end up becoming one of them

is this clarity
or hormones?
how awful
i cannot tell the difference

is that even fair?

the body i am meant
to love
to trust
to protect

can't even tell me
the truth

I let my trust run wild until it turned into paranoia
I let my paranoia go untouched until it turned into resentment
I let my resentment fester until it turned into depression
I let my depression grow until it became doubt
Now my doubt had turned into confirmation
It wasn’t a kiss or a word I was scared to know of
I was afraid while I strangling my tears so you couldn’t see them
You were building a dam to keep others away
I was afraid while I was trying to mend my heart with bullets
You were acting as a tailor for someone else's
I was afraid that you had become someone else's safe haven
While I was learning to be my own
But still I let my trust run wild

I am telling you things
I would never dare
tell my own family

I would worry
that they would worry
about me

But I need to share
my feelings
I need to write

So I write to you
I trust you
to keep my secrets

The night falls...
Do you hear all the different calls?
There flies the owl...
But I follow the wolf's howl...
I can already hear it louder than before...
There he stands, lonely and poor...
But still, head high as he looks me up and down...
Strong and proud he has grown...
Even though he looks fierce and scary...
I'm not scared by how he is, big and hairy...
I know he is loyal and true...
I don't always know what he'll do...
He has disappeared, many a time, nights and days...
It's almost like a game he plays...
But I end up hearing the familiar yelp...
Then, I'll always answer his call for help...
Sometimes it's a howl of loneliness or power...
Rising high above any other tower...

I recently called out a mate over text for ghosting me
And he actually apologized
Yes, you were a ****** friend
Glad you admitted that

And yes
I am still quite hurt
You are on this website
So the odds of you seeing this are high
But you really did hurt me
I love you
But I'm hurt

I can't be open with stuff again
You broke that trust
I'm not gonna tell you stuff

I want to reach out to you...
I want to help, I really do...
But somehow I feel like you won't let me...
I discovered, it's not my job to let you see...
The powerlessness is heavy...
But not too much to carry...
I know you'll get there...
You just need to realize who's job it is to steer...
God will take you to a place where you belong...
Even after everything goes wrong...
Inside, there is a voice that is always right...
It will never force you or fight...
It will grow louder and stronger, the more you listen to it...
It will show you the way out of any pit...
No matter how dark your circumstances have become...
There is a voice that will always lead you home...
God lets us go through rough times so we can learn...
Sometimes we go on till we are more than worn...
All God wants is that we listen to his voice...
But it's all your choice...
I've decided and I'm happier than before...
There is only 1 thing missing from my core...
I don't see the need in telling you what is gone...
You know why I'm alone...

your eyes touched me
before they even knew
what they wanted

they carved your desires into me

you were deceiving

and when i got too close

i didn’t know better until

the rash that followed.

-i was wrong about you.