you say you really love me
but still you call me stupid *****?
i dont think you really see
how much you make my arms itch

i do love you cuz afterall you are my mom
but we argue all the time
i dont know where this anger come from
and right now im living on a really thin line

mom i hate you go away
no i need you please, please stay!
get out of my room stupid *****
your face reminds me most of a witch

i sit here alone sad and afraid
but it wont be long back anyway...
im gonna **** myself, not today
but i will cuz i know i wont stay

my daily routine is tragedy
i just want to be happy...

*(c.m.h)

The depression no longer ****** me
Nor does it bite or scratch
Or tear its way to my skin
From the depth of my core, outward
But occasionally, on my dark days
I will feel a nibble
On my lung or my heart
Reminding me that its still there
That its hungry
It wants feeding. So I do.
I give it my grief and my anger
And everything that keeps me whole
Until I am a little less complete
But it is no longer hungry
And it can no longer nibble
Or scratch, or bite through
My every capillary
I am incomplete
But I am happy
Almost.

i'll never know
when my heart will blast
i'll let out my words
but the happiness won't last

it'll get bad again
worse than before
i'll go to my room
and lock the door

when the darkness
sorrounds me
i'll know im alone
silver turns red
my thoughts are thrown

they're gone for a while
i'm happy again
but will it last
no it's still here
haunting me
tearing me apart
and changing who i am

**(c.m.h)

she's proud og herself but she won't tell you why
it has now been a month since last she even tried
but they voices won't stop today she still won
she put down her razor and put down that gun

after hours of thinking to herself
she goes and picks up her old friend from the shelf
overwhelmed with emotions she picks up her blades
and disposes her devils, drops the charade

for the first time in a while her lips crack to a smile
this wont be easy but in the end it will be worthwhile
her cuts will turn to scars and those scars will fade
and this makes her feel stronger she's no longer afraid

**(c.m.h)

i'm invisible
you see right through me

you see me
but you never notice me

you talk about me
but never to me

you know who i am...
**but you dont know i exist

The jingle-jangle of pills,
in a bottle, now in the trash.
The honey-sweet scent
of liquor in a glass.

The eye-searing shine
of an untouched blade.
The Cheshire cat grin
of a boy who doesn't know my name.

Life,
Should come with a CAUTION sign.

I crave to feel something
No matter what it may be
Even if it hurts
To feel that would be better than not feeling anything at all

A small cut
One
Two
Three?
Another one won't hurt I tell myself

My legs covered in blood
I cry and scream
But at least I can feel something
Even if it is temporary

The pain passes
And the numbness returns
Until I give in to my urges once more