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George Krokos Oct 2018
I've had some thought of writing about love in measured dozes
and how it could be applied in daily life for therapeutic poses,
where love is generated in certain amounts and directed to one
for them to use it for recovery purposes once they have begun.

It wouldn't matter at all what the ailment or condition might be
the love generated for such purposes would be used medically,
in the treatment and cure of just about any known life disease
where a patient or those suffering received right love to please.

We could debate and argue about the implications and scope
of what this would mean for one who didn't have much hope
of ever getting better or to living life without further distress
once they would come under the regimen called love's caress.

Take for example someone accustomed in life only to hate
and how love would turn things around for them to abate
those feelings toward their fellow human beings that stave
or so impede any beneficial relationship they might crave.

Even a genuine simple smile or a random act of kindness
would go a long way or could be used in such a boldness
to make an initial impression on one who was so in need
or show them that love was what they're missing indeed.

So then, a look, a wink or even a gentle loving touch
could also be employed with a positive effect as such
like the unconditional love in life of a caring mother
towards her children suffering in one way or another.

The wisdom of love applied in such ways wouldn't ever be
found to be wasted or seen to have anything unnecessary
that could do harm to anyone receiving a treatment of love
as the real source of it we know comes from heaven above.
___________
Written early in 2018.
Alex Smith Oct 2018
Medicate me, I’m a mess.
A ****** up forgotten trash bag.
Smiles begin to sag,
And I feel less like myself.
Trapped in an everlasting personal Hell.
My life has always been a scale
Of playing it safe and false alarms.
I gave myself scars to prove
Pain on the outside doesn’t match up
With what I feel inside.
Disgusting depression degrading me still
Fill me up with a happy pill.
Don’t spiral me downward,
Sustain me with sweet serotonin.
I want to feel mania
Wash over me.
Artificially make me happy,
I am your robot to program now.
No longer to live of my own volition.
A pill can save me,
Less likely to be stuck with
Worthless self-pity.
Prozac, Lexapro; other reuptake
Suppressants.
I am coming to love antidepressants.
A junior ***** to be;
Pop these drugs,
Be set free.
Ironic, isn’t it?
Jail cells made from
Prescription bottles
Are supposed to liberate me
From constant sadness.
But, how can that be?
With a chemical to rely on,
I am not actually free.
I am doomed.
I am crazy.
This is who I am.
I will never be normal.
Just a little longer,
I’ll be fine when life kills.
Guess I’ll **** down more happy pills.
Lydia Sep 2018
Now that I think about it,
I always want people to like me
and respect me
and realize how valuable I really am,
but why do I expect other people to see all of that in me,
when I don't even see it in myself?
Belle Aug 2018
“You will never regret recovery.”
I am regretting every minute of it.
VOID Aug 2018
my therapist asked me how it felt to be bipolar
i never answered but i have been thinking about it
it feels like you are in a plastic bag, and the oxygen is gone and you can't help yourself and it feels like everyone who tries to help you gets trapped in a plastic bag too
it feels you are swimming in an ocean on top of the world and suddenly something grabs your foot and drowns the life out of you and fills your lungs with water
it feels like the sun is so bright it's staining your eyes' point of view
like the earth was made in your image and nothing feels, taste, sees,or hears better than this moment, it feels like you want to rip your clothes off and be touched by anyone's hands.
it feels like you are watching yourself from a different body, and you are wondering why you are acting out like that! and there is nothing you can do can stop you from this mess you created
it feels like someone is controlling you like a puppet on strings  
it feels like you have no control over anything
the lows make you think of creative ways to die
and the highs make you ruin your future plans
Blake Jun 2018
Can you really label it as self harm
           If it saves you daily
                     From a detached
                                      Senseless
                ­                              Dazed
                                                   Abyss.
Belle Jun 2018
don't tell me it's going to be okay
when all i've eaten today was my own fingernails and a smoothie
but i want that ******* cupcake---
when i eat it though i dont even enjoy it, i force myself into hating treats so that i dont win.
so i take a bite and i just want to cry
don't tell me it's going to be okay
when no other treatment center will accept me anymore
and my insurance barely covers me because they're so fed up
i've left AMA twice and have been kicked out three times
now it seems im about to go to my seventh round of residential and people are saying i have control over it
"the eating disorder is not a separate entity" they say
then why do i want to eat but i'm literally being forced not to
then why do i want to say sorry to everyone i've hurt and every person i said "im not eating" to that has just wanted to help me, but the eating disorder tells me to focus on myself
then i must be the dissappointment,
then i must be a ****** person
don't tell me it's going to be okay
when i want to go home and just be with my mom
when i'm scared my dog is starting to like my mom more than me and it makes me want to crumble in agony everytime he follows her and not me, and won't sleep on my bed anymore any time im home. because all ive done to him was leave him for treatment
i understand if he hates me
don't tell me it's going to be okay
if all i want to do is isolate
and nap
and cry
and cut everyone out of my life,
even the ones i love dearest
dont tell me it's going to be okay
when i see my weight go up not even a pound
and i want to rip my skin off
and throw myself in front of a moving vehicle
not quite die but feel the pain i believe i deserve after gaining
don't tell me it's going to be okay
when i THRIVE off the look people give me when i say i havent eaten all day
or have thoughts of harming myself
and everytime someone says "gee you look sick"
i feel like im doing something right
don't tell me it's going to be okay
when i couldnt even get through a semester of college
without nearly dying
and am supposed to be going into my junior year but i've only got enough credits to be a first semester freshman
im a failure in all aspects
don't tell me it's going to be okay
because it wont be.
Alicia Allen Jun 2018
It would seem, so it seems
that I have more time than anyone else
not in the mean time
or in between time
but real time.
It would seem, so it seems
that I make time for things that take time
not air time or prime time but
my time.
you have to know the difference between when someone hit you up only on their free time and when they free time to hit you up.
Glenn Currier Jun 2018
The bald little boy
turned to his father
sad entreating eyes
wordlessly
both hands up
clawing the air
as if squeezing
invisible rubber *****.

Dad reading Newsweek
a distraction from his local terror
saw the silent request
turned routinely
pulled out of a canvas bag
a fuzzy white lobster
handed it to his son
who held it to his chest.

What cynic said
love is not redemptive?
Written back in 2009 as I was waiting in a doctor's office.  Came across it the other day as I was working on compiling my poetry of the last 17 years.
She hates herself and wishes she was dead
I'm imagining our hands locked as we wed off into a honeymoon in my head
She's so beautiful inside and out that I can't fathom her self hatred
I was made for something, I was made for this
Meet me halfway
Or let your misery stay
I think about your well being all day
To the point that all I want for you to is to get better
I sincerely hope a man out there treats you like I did
It's never been about me
So I won't end that
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