I've had some thought of writing about love in measured dozes and how it could be applied in daily life for therapeutic poses, where love is generated in certain amounts and directed to one for them to use it for recovery purposes once they have begun.
It wouldn't matter at all what the ailment or condition might be the love generated for such purposes would be used medically, in the treatment and cure of just about any known life disease where a patient or those suffering received right love to please.
We could debate and argue about the implications and scope of what this would mean for one who didn't have much hope of ever getting better or to living life without further distress once they would come under the regimen called love's caress.
Take for example someone accustomed in life only to hate and how love would turn things around for them to abate those feelings toward their fellow human beings that stave or so impede any beneficial relationship they might crave.
Even a genuine simple smile or a random act of kindness would go a long way or could be used in such a boldness to make an initial impression on one who was so in need or show them that love was what they're missing indeed.
So then, a look, a wink or even a gentle loving touch could also be employed with a positive effect as such like the unconditional love in life of a caring mother towards her children suffering in one way or another.
The wisdom of love applied in such ways wouldn't ever be found to be wasted or seen to have anything unnecessary that could do harm to anyone receiving a treatment of love as the real source of it we know comes from heaven above. ___________
Medicate me, I’m a mess. A ****** up forgotten trash bag. Smiles begin to sag, And I feel less like myself. Trapped in an everlasting personal Hell. My life has always been a scale Of playing it safe and false alarms. I gave myself scars to prove Pain on the outside doesn’t match up With what I feel inside. Disgusting depression degrading me still Fill me up with a happy pill. Don’t spiral me downward, Sustain me with sweet serotonin. I want to feel mania Wash over me. Artificially make me happy, I am your robot to program now. No longer to live of my own volition. A pill can save me, Less likely to be stuck with Worthless self-pity. Prozac, Lexapro; other reuptake Suppressants. I am coming to love antidepressants. A junior ***** to be; Pop these drugs, Be set free. Ironic, isn’t it? Jail cells made from Prescription bottles Are supposed to liberate me From constant sadness. But, how can that be? With a chemical to rely on, I am not actually free. I am doomed. I am crazy. This is who I am. I will never be normal. Just a little longer, I’ll be fine when life kills. Guess I’ll **** down more happy pills.
Now that I think about it, I always want people to like me and respect me and realize how valuable I really am, but why do I expect other people to see all of that in me, when I don't even see it in myself?
my therapist asked me how it felt to be bipolar i never answered but i have been thinking about it it feels like you are in a plastic bag, and the oxygen is gone and you can't help yourself and it feels like everyone who tries to help you gets trapped in a plastic bag too it feels you are swimming in an ocean on top of the world and suddenly something grabs your foot and drowns the life out of you and fills your lungs with water it feels like the sun is so bright it's staining your eyes' point of view like the earth was made in your image and nothing feels, taste, sees,or hears better than this moment, it feels like you want to rip your clothes off and be touched by anyone's hands. it feels like you are watching yourself from a different body, and you are wondering why you are acting out like that! and there is nothing you can do can stop you from this mess you created it feels like someone is controlling you like a puppet on strings it feels like you have no control over anything the lows make you think of creative ways to die and the highs make you ruin your future plans
don't tell me it's going to be okay when all i've eaten today was my own fingernails and a smoothie but i want that ******* cupcake--- when i eat it though i dont even enjoy it, i force myself into hating treats so that i dont win. so i take a bite and i just want to cry don't tell me it's going to be okay when no other treatment center will accept me anymore and my insurance barely covers me because they're so fed up i've left AMA twice and have been kicked out three times now it seems im about to go to my seventh round of residential and people are saying i have control over it "the eating disorder is not a separate entity" they say then why do i want to eat but i'm literally being forced not to then why do i want to say sorry to everyone i've hurt and every person i said "im not eating" to that has just wanted to help me, but the eating disorder tells me to focus on myself then i must be the dissappointment, then i must be a ****** person don't tell me it's going to be okay when i want to go home and just be with my mom when i'm scared my dog is starting to like my mom more than me and it makes me want to crumble in agony everytime he follows her and not me, and won't sleep on my bed anymore any time im home. because all ive done to him was leave him for treatment i understand if he hates me don't tell me it's going to be okay if all i want to do is isolate and nap and cry and cut everyone out of my life, even the ones i love dearest dont tell me it's going to be okay when i see my weight go up not even a pound and i want to rip my skin off and throw myself in front of a moving vehicle not quite die but feel the pain i believe i deserve after gaining don't tell me it's going to be okay when i THRIVE off the look people give me when i say i havent eaten all day or have thoughts of harming myself and everytime someone says "gee you look sick" i feel like im doing something right don't tell me it's going to be okay when i couldnt even get through a semester of college without nearly dying and am supposed to be going into my junior year but i've only got enough credits to be a first semester freshman im a failure in all aspects don't tell me it's going to be okay because it wont be.
It would seem, so it seems that I have more time than anyone else not in the mean time or in between time but real time. It would seem, so it seems that I make time for things that take time not air time or prime time but my time.
you have to know the difference between when someone hit you up only on their free time and when they free time to hit you up.
She hates herself and wishes she was dead I'm imagining our hands locked as we wed off into a honeymoon in my head She's so beautiful inside and out that I can't fathom her self hatred I was made for something, I was made for this Meet me halfway Or let your misery stay I think about your well being all day To the point that all I want for you to is to get better I sincerely hope a man out there treats you like I did It's never been about me So I won't end that