I wish I could see your name pop up on my phone.
It always used to make my day
but now I feel so alone.
Every time I hear the text tone
I am so eager to see if it's you.
But deep down, I know I won't be hearing from you.
You said you would text, but let's face it
it's just something you said.
You made a promise, and it's not even something
that is going to be kept.
I want you
but you don't love me anymore
If it was me that you wanted
you wouldn't have left.
And now it feels like I have nothing left.
The tears I shed
are the ones that I've kept inside for so long
the fact that you are gone
means I have to move on
It was you
the one I cried over
you made me feel wanted
you made me feel secure
I wasted all this time
when you could've been mine
I didn't know what I wanted
but now I do.
I guess it isn't right
to admit it now,
because you are gone
and there's no way for you to be mine
I kept pushing
saying I wasn't ready.
I finally think I'm ready, and it's too late.
I ****** up.
I can't even say a word
to make everything go back
to make everything be ok.
I ****** up
I love you
it's all I wanted to say.
Putting a bandaid on a cut that needs stitches
only covers up the wound
it doesn't make it heal
it doesn't make it stop bleeding.
It just hides the wound.
It doesn't take away the pain
it doesn't make anything feel better
sometimes the stitches are needed.
Sometimes stitches are what you need to heal
It makes the wound turn to a scar
but it helps you get through
whatever it is you're going through.
HA it's a reference to the mental health world.
I don't think I can go on
living with you
you tear me down
make me feel incompetent
and I need to be me
If I can't do that
with you by my side
I am never going to be able to fly
I think it's time for me to rethink my decisions
decide which is the best place for me to live in
I really don't want to leave you
but I think it's what I am going to have to do
Living with you is just not helping me
I am scared to think that I am going to have to leave
Leave the normality that I call my home..
and change up my life and make things different
If I could
I would do it all over
Redo what I did wrong
Go back to listening to my sad songs
I really would
Contemplate it all
Decide whether or not
Should I have come this far?
At first I didn't think it would help, but look at me now. I am standing here, very much alive. Standing tall with my head held high. Feeling like I can reach the sky. Crawling up in a ball hoping to die, doesn't make you fly. Poetry helped save my life, all because I decided to try. I took the extra steps and elongated my stride.And look at me now; I am ready, I am ready to thrive.