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Vic Sep 2019
My parents made me
Wear a skirt, and a short sleeved t-shirt.
The only reason they didn't see
The scars that covered my arm
Is because they bought make up for me 2 days ago, in which I hid the scars.
"Because you're a girl."
Right now, I ******* feel like
'Micheal in the bathroom'
Anyway, I'm gonna continue crying in closeted trans now, bye.
A "poem" every day.
Morgan Alexander Sep 2019
An X is cool
An X is Wolverine!
An X is someone I never have to deal with again!

:::))) (Super happy face)

An X is me!

I don't like the Q.
That's a Star Trek character.
I'm old fashioned too.
It's still like N to me.

So I guess there are many Ls though.
:) Big Smile

"I'm supposed to be a T."
But I don't feel like a T.
I don't want to be a T.
A T is 50/50 and I'm 100/10. (Sort of).

I'm not sure,
when I was a kid
I just wanted a G (No, not a Geeee, a G)

So that's it then!

I'm a G! Cuz it's right for me!
looks down
(Ah ****... ******* Y)

:( sad face

Well,  I'm an L then, at least!
looks down
(Ah ****... ******* Y)

sad face :(

So I'm still not a G (Because of the Y), and Not and L (Because of the Y yet a-*******-gain), but not a Geeee a T, a B or whatever's left.

Can I just be a crooked G-L?
looks down at the ******* Y

:( sad face

Q is a nerd from Star Trek.

I'm an X because it's cool.
Trans people defy labels. Sorry, I didn't choose that. I can go nuts trying to figure out if I'm gay or straight or straight or gay all day long.

Why? So cis people can feel better about their ***-pees?

FU!
Morgan Alexander Sep 2019
I sit around chewing bubble gum
Its flavor dull, and flat.
I spit it out into the greasy, stained waste bin.
It stares back at me angrily, lying next to
Some brown boxes, random yard waste,
An oily blue rag, and a raging red
Hunk of plastic, which once was a fire engine,
My misery reflected in its misshapen contours.
I’m trapped in my world
Of fake “How-do-you-dos”
And tepid conversation about the weather.
Each day is an agony and every moment, surreal.
I cry for a body that is not mine.
My soul burns with each passing lie I tell someone
When they ask who I am.

I hate love songs, happy songs, and celebrations!
They are never for me.
They are the bubble gum I scrape off my shoe
As I walk down the aisle to watch the latest horror movie.
The violence on the screen,
Only slightly assuages the rage… in my female soul,
Bound for eternity in a hairy, meaty prison.
I always feel like ****!
A female mind forever warped
By this absurd male body.
The lies I tell become my little deaths.
Little deaths are pain and envy.
Pain and envy are like bubble gum…
Endlessly mashed together and sticky.

A woman sashays past me,
An unknowing feminine tyrant
Enjoying my salvation with the
Parting of her pretty red lips,
The sway of her baby-making hips,
And her graceful, yet sleek fingertips.
She delicately sits, her soft pleasant voice
Floats back up to me. Dysphoria level: CRITICAL!
She dictates my days and nights...
Inadvertently taunting me as she giggles with her friends.
But my eye’s long drinks
Of her crisp, cool water were never
About my thirst.

-MorganLA
I truly love women.
Vic Sep 2019
Boy
When I stare at my face,
And look deep in the mirror,

It's never the love that creeps in,
Always the 'horror'

I see a girl standing there.
An average looking girl.

She's not to tall,
But also not short.

She has brown hair up to her shoulders,
With blue and indigo streaks in it.

She's wearing pants that are a little bit too big,
Because her disorders make her lose weight.

She's wearing a red and black 'lumberjack blouse'
It's a little too big, it's from the men's departement.

She has a pretty small mouth,
But her lips are pink, and kind of plumped

She has bushy eyebrows,
But not in an ugly way?

She has beautiful grey, blue, green eyes.
It depends on the day and her mood.

She has a little bit of a crooked nose,
That a tiny bit too big for her face.

She has a chubby face, not so much
But she's a little chubby over all.

She has braces on her teeth,
But that's pretty common these days.

She has a pretty normal body,
Normal figure, a little on the "fat" side.

She has an arm full of scars,
But they have always been there, so it's fine.

And all of the above,
Every day that's what I see.
But what I see in the mirror,

She's a girl.

She   is   not   me.
Dysphoria Days.
Mia Sadoch Sep 2019
My body is a temple
To which I’ve lost the key.
Everyone thinks its outside is wonderful
But I, inside, see how vile it is.

It’s easy to judge beauty
When you’re beholding, and not being.
I feel trapped inside a giant of stone
Unwavering and unbearable.

I want to be vulnerable.
To feel pain, joy, and sorrow.
So why, why?
Why must I remain in this stoic prison?
I've lost sight of what I am. But I know what I am not.
Vic Sep 2019
"Well, if my parents aren't gonna let me wear a suit to the dance, I'll wear the most extra dress of the whole year."

"What if you wear a dress with the trans colours?"

"Y e s"
A "poem" every day.
Vic Sep 2019
The conversation went like this:

J: "Hello daughter"
(It's an inside joke, we have a whole family tree :)
Me: [Looks at J]
J: "uh, Son"
L: "Son!"
L: [Smiles and hugs me real tight]
(L is trans too)
J: "How dare you ignore your mother"
Me: [Hugs J too]
Us: [Laugh]
A "poem" every day.

Binder update: I tried to order them, but the site won't accept my credit card in any way. I'll try again tomorrow, we'll get there.
Vic Aug 2019
I'M GETTING A BINDER
A "poem" every day.
Vic Aug 2019
I drew the word "pride"
But it's the Pan flag.
Underneath it it's the same
But it's a trans flag
I couldn't draw a demiromantic and/or a genderflux flag with chalk.
Now we wait for my parents to see
If they don't see it within two weeks I'll bake a cake that says
"pan, trans, demiromantic and also genderflux"
Maybe I'll need two cakes tbh.
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