I've always wanted to walk down railroad tracks
Balanced on rusty rails
Arms outstretched
Taunting the behemoth
Hit me, hit me

Maybe they lead to my youth
Where mornings were warm
And the air tasted like dew
I would wear a dress just to feel the wind
whip at my skirts

Maybe I could lie down
In the middle, maybe
I could watch it pass
over
me
Or maybe I would lie across
And watch it pass
under
me

Maybe I'm just taunting god
I hear lights and see the wails of sirens
Is it dawn or dusk? I can't
remember
The trees on either side reach out
I wish I could touch them

Hit me, hit me
I'll watch it pass from above

Friends forever
Doing drugs together
Until I pulled a lever
And tracks were severed

****** barreling
******* caroling
That would make pharaohs sing
Now memories embarrass me
From negativity that shined
I thought fit me fine
But I crossed the line
Of wasting time

End of wits
Tracks were split
Dodging a candlelit
Snake bit
Break pit

Years passed
Pain amassed
Trampled grass
From feet so fast
Things don't last

Now I'm gay
And he's a ****
What can I say?
Maybe it's our posse?
The change I did not see
But pain it has brought me
My sinful past has caught me
Returning shame that had fought me

Show and tell
Sowed in hell
A golden well
Sold then fell
Into two paths
One of laughs
One of wrath
I need a bath
To undo this math

This guilt built
Quilt kilt
Tilts
My mentality
Of congeniality
Back to reality
And functionality
Which devours me
Powerlessly
Struggling to get free
From this depression disease

This bullet train
Bull of pain
Calls my name
From the grain
Of the game
Of my blame
For what remains

Take my lifeblood
And my night flood
Be my right bud
Instead of plight mud
Become invincible
And principled
Not instant mold
Born from cold

There's a track mark
Left from the dark
Of my regretful ark
That seems so stark
It spreads through my body
Making me feel so naughty
Doing mental karate
To say it's not me
It's not my fault
But my complicity
Opened the vault
Filled with salt
Festering inside recovering scars
So even if I'm discovering stars
I'm still locked behind bars
For crimes committed on Mars

Back cracking
Backtracking
Packs stacking
Tacks lacking
Any relent
To my lament
For what I meant
Versus what I sent
But tracks were set
And stations were met
Now I can't pay this debt
When the only way is death

Saw her standing on the tracks
Dressed head to toe in black
A smile sat upon her lips
Eyes were sad like sinking ships

So many people talk about the
Light at the end of the tunnel.
But they don’t talk about
What comes after that.
They don’t talk about how
The light blinds you when you get too close,
How it completely swallows you, and
How you’re left confused and bewildered afterwards.
No one tells you that change can hurt you,
Internally- the worst way-
Turning your whole world upside down.
No one talks about how the
Light at the end of the tunnel can also be
The light of an oncoming train.

We run across the tracks,
A horde of desperate children.
Our tears are raked off our cheeks
By the wind that slams into our faces.

Crouching, cowering, gritting our teeth,
A fruitless attempt to make ourselves smaller,
To dodge the never-ending stream
Of lead teeth that eat into our flesh.

Gripping the clammy fingers
Of our only hope,
Until they are pummelled into the floor,
And we leave them behind.

We live to impress,
We walk a tightrope every day.
God help you if you fall,
Because you are on your own.

They’ll only hold your hand
If there is something in it.
They don’t love you,
So just keep running.

Running, running,
Stretch out your fingers,
To the other side.
Because when you fail…

Well at least you can say
one part of you made it…
Right?

end of the line my friend
end of the line
well
it was only a matter of time
time
time
time
time
time                         A train conductor
time                                               sounds the
time                                                   horn crossing
time                                                  the tracks.
time
time
time
time
time           Never to go back.
time
time
time
time
time
time
time