Friends forever
Doing drugs together
Until I pulled a lever
And tracks were severed

****** barreling
******* caroling
That would make pharaohs sing
Now memories embarrass me
From negativity that shined
I thought fit me fine
But I crossed the line
Of wasting time

End of wits
Tracks were split
Dodging a candlelit
Snake bit
Break pit

Years passed
Pain amassed
Trampled grass
From feet so fast
Things don't last

Now I'm gay
And he's a ****
What can I say?
Maybe it's our posse?
The change I did not see
But pain it has brought me
My sinful past has caught me
Returning shame that had fought me

Show and tell
Sowed in hell
A golden well
Sold then fell
Into two paths
One of laughs
One of wrath
I need a bath
To undo this math

This guilt built
Quilt kilt
Tilts
My mentality
Of congeniality
Back to reality
And functionality
Which devours me
Powerlessly
Struggling to get free
From this depression disease

This bullet train
Bull of pain
Calls my name
From the grain
Of the game
Of my blame
For what remains

Take my lifeblood
And my night flood
Be my right bud
Instead of plight mud
Become invincible
And principled
Not instant mold
Born from cold

There's a track mark
Left from the dark
Of my regretful ark
That seems so stark
It spreads through my body
Making me feel so naughty
Doing mental karate
To say it's not me
It's not my fault
But my complicity
Opened the vault
Filled with salt
Festering inside recovering scars
So even if I'm discovering stars
I'm still locked behind bars
For crimes committed on Mars

Back cracking
Backtracking
Packs stacking
Tacks lacking
Any relent
To my lament
For what I meant
Versus what I sent
But tracks were set
And stations were met
Now I can't pay this debt
When the only way is death