Pain and anger
It feels as if it's not me
I feel like a puppet doing and saying as you command
I feel like a fool only meant to sit still and lifeless until you say otherwise
I am not a human anymore but an object that does and says what I am told to

you pasted scars all over my back
And showered it with salt
"Did you shout?"
Darling, how I wish I could.
I struggled to make a sound.
Any sound.
A mere whimper is enough to suffice my ears,
Ears that have been worn out by the walls.
Screaming at them.
screaming at me.
only the sound of the whip slashing against my bare skin has been keeping me company.
Hell, it almost sounded like a song.

I have so much to say
but nothing comes out
my heart breaks
when people make
it seem like happiness is a facade
undeserving, unwilling, and it's all my fault...
right? because I'm causing the pain,
the tears on your face, it's always the same
I can't win this fight, can I?
I can never fall in love, so I
don't know what to do
and it hurts so much more than you
think
it's not just dark when I blink
anymore, I think I reached the brink
of what is sane and what is taboo

maybe, I just want something... new
someone... new
someone who won't make me cry
someone who won't say goodbye
when things begin to collide
and people look away to the side
when I'm finally gaining my strength and peace
I am no one's property, no one to keep
me from living the life that I deserve
because I have always been so reserved
and maybe it's time that I stand up
and say that enough is enough.

yes, I am in love with someone new.
someone who loves me as their muse
I don't want
to keep
having this
fight
over what is
wrong and
what is
right

I am in control.
it's time I free my soul
from the grasps of those who believe they could chain me
to the ground
no, not until my old past self is found.
never again, I'll fight for true love.
Instead of a love that seems to shove
me into guilt and sadness,
imprisoned in loneliness
while you are free to do whatever you want
as I stand in the blackness

No, I will not stand this sickening torment
these conflicts, or as you say is heartfelt comments
If I want to save my heart
I have to tear apart
reality from fantasy
it isn't easy
but...
maybe then, I will be free
to breathe, love, and kiss who I please.
I don't need to commit right now.
I just want to get through this life somehow.

My lady,

Oh how I love those rosy angelic cherry cheeks.

Oh how I admire your foxy corn-stranded sunshine hair.

Oh how I drool over the caress of that fair sensual oil skin.

Oh how I fiddle with them refined full blood lips.

Oh how I’m baffled by that Cleopatra spine-tingling smile.

Oh how I analyse your swift throat gulping movement.

Oh how I observe them bones of glistening bewitching talent.

Oh but how I love every part of you but beg you not to return my looks.

Oh how can I learn to love them
Delicate emerald tear-stricken eyes.

If it cripples me even for a second to dive within its grief-stricken ripples of a stare.