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Eleanor Dec 2020
I wish I had a pain medication strong enough to cure this headache we call life
I'm being a bit dramatic, don't mind me
T R H Dec 2020
It's getting bad again
Snuck up unexpectedly
Simple tasks leave me drained
Won't sing to my favorite songs
And the things that used to excite me
Just leave me feeling numb.
Laundry piling up
Dishes in the sink
Don't want to move
Too tired to think.
I have to try to push it down
Been doing too well to backslide
But I can't even mutter the words
Or fake a smile to hide behind
Doing the bare minimum
To keep myself alive
To satisfy my friends and family
But what if one of these days
That's not a good enough reason for me
Abner Ros Dec 2020
You're on watch, you cannot sleep.
Torpor looms as fingers twitch,
Stay up, stay alert
Now is your time.
You mustn't give in to fatigue.

Sterility encapsulates the ironically termed 'living' room,
With beeps and hisses battling for supremacy
In a growingly discordant manner.

Until the living interferes
And proclaims 'No more'.
No more shall rhythmic tunes stake their claim,
No more shall the room of white become stained
With the pain of a world unknown.
No more shall men of Earth be lulled by your faux swan song.

Though, sounds of 'life' carry on.
"You're on watch, you must now sleep"
Purrs a cloaked figure.
J Dec 2020
I can just simply tell you how tired I am
but it's something that's been done before
over and over
so I will describe it.
arms are loose, hanging down in defeat at my sides, knuckles dragging against the ground, hair unwashed for yet another day because I just can't get myself to stand and walk into the bathroom, much less turn on the shower, much less let myself stand under the droplets.
I'm screaming, eager to be normal, to stop feeling like this, but nothing changes, ever. muscles in my face pull, then I'm smiling, and they smile back, and it falls.
the pain in my chest grows sharp, both in pain and in realization; I'm dying.
I reach for a star, and it stings in return. I drag my hand away, muttering apologies, and cradle the wound against my ribs, swallowing back my words.
walking is hard, sleeping is hard, moving is hard, breathing is hard.
I'm not going to get any better.
I long for that shower, but I'll stay in the mud. I'll roll in it, until the dirt sticks under my nails, painting them mocha. I'll have grass for hair, beetles for eyes, and a worm for a thin smile. I can't wash this away anymore.
I'm but a drumset playing in an empty room, falling out of tune, angrily bashing myself in until I'm nothing at all but unrecognizable pieces, floating away with a whisper.
I take a drag of the world, it corrodes my lungs, and yet I dare not cry out in pain, there's no room for that right now, I have to exhale.
but with the breath comes my guts, pooling out and piling onto the ground, wetly smacking against one another like slabs of meat, wriggling like snakes, hissing as if it were a spark doused in water.
I'm being emptied out, to make room for something else, perhaps the hit will create a new little ecosystem, maybe they'll create serotonin enough to fill me.
I'll rot, and the maggots will dance across my flesh, digging until they find something worthy to feast upon, spreading the flesh with their want, I'll be a part of something that lets creatures live, and then I'll one day become something worth loving, saving, caring for.
but for now, I'm nothing but a sensitive overdramatic piece of complete ****, sitting alone in their room with music no one gives a **** about on repeat, praying to the Gods and Goddesses their girlfriend calls them so they don't **** up their arm again. but there's no ringing, just the drum alone in the white room.
Bailey Dec 2020
I can feel myself drifting
The white noise so loud
It blurries my already hazy vision
I don't know where I'm going
I'm not sure if I'm scared anymore
Or if I'm just tired of it all
My body feels so heavy
I don't know how it moves anymore
I'm so angry at me
Why cant I get off of my drifting sea
I don't know
Bailey Dec 2020
It hurts to breathe
In this empty place
So end me please
I'm only wasted space
SquidInk Dec 2020
some people feel anxious a lot
some people feel overly tired all the time
some people have anger issues
some people enjoy life
some people are happy, or sad, or mad
but i am numb

when i wake up, i am numb
i stay in my room because i feel numb
i cry to try and feel something, anything
but i suddenly stop because feelings are exhausting

i hate going to school because my friends give me ****
i already get enough at home, i dont need it here too

its like everyone has their place in this school and im floating around groups
its hard to be happy when you work so hard to make everyone else happy
its hard to laugh when youre always making sure everyone else is laughing

they dont realize how easy it is to fake a smile
to tell a lie for the sake of their feelings
to act like you are just fine

they dont realize that when i look the happiest is when i feel the numbest
an easier, less painful way to live
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