My phone screen is too bright
Parties are too loud
Work is exhausting

And what I’m doing for my mental health isn’t enough

I hope this ends soon
Not with death, I just want whatever this is to stop
I’m getting through it, don’t get me wrong
I’m just worried to see who I am when I come out the other side

I never knew I had my walls down until you made me put it back up again

Hear those Friday beats drop
from hard to soft
as seconds elongate,
minim rests to pause
until all too belatedly
you are freed to remember

3 months in
I gave it my all
I thought it was secured
How wrong I was
When you give 100%
When you are at your best
It doesn't guarantee your place in a company
Or guarantee a job
It's just you giving your all
So take my advice
Nothing is guaranteed
So don't waste or ware yourself out
Giving your all or your best
Its just you wearing yourself out
for something you won't be
recognized for
and can be taken away
So give yourself a break
And always have a backup
plan ..
That's my advice to you
© Jennifer L DeLong 🦏
2/1/22

I wish my imagination glistened
as it used to

I long for the rush of enthusiasm
with dreamy violins and brassy horns
of Tchaikovsky and Mahler

Where has the music gone
the tingly feeling in my chest
the excitement
now replaced by numbness
and in the midst of silence
shrill electric strains between my ears