I can fake a smile to the unconcerned
But feel myself break down when asked
I’m so angry I’m driving myself insane
I try to distract myself with lists of tasks
I watch life progress without me
Can’t seem to match the pace
No matter how my speed increases
There’s no way I’m winning this race
I’m treading water, head barely afloat
While I watch everyone else coast by
Why does nothing I do seem to matter
I’m losing my motivation to even try

Dear old Mom
Can I go to sleep now?
I've done my chores
For forty years
I made my bed this morning
And used the soap when I took a shower.
My clothes are folded and put away
Not sure if I'll need them another day.
I kissed your check
And I love you more than words can say.
I'll wait till you've gone to bed
But my eyes are heavy
I'll rest here for a bit.
Wake me up when you turn out the light
For the last time....

When I was little my mother was always near
I did as I was told no questions asked
Until the age of twelve when everything was clear

I began to quesiton the things I was tasked
Caring less and less if mother was around
Acting reckless keeping my feelings masked

My friends and I would terrorize the town
Giving no regards to others and acting like fools
It was five years before the old me was found

I found relief in music so it became my tool
The stress of my parents was too much to take
I wanted to give up on everything including school

I rarely asked for much and made my own cake
But I was sick and tired of not having freedom
So I signed my life away for some rank

When I graduated I left for a few seasons
The confidence I gained was what I'd needed
Although my absence was for no clear reason

As my eyes open wide my mind becomes heated
Everybody is ignorant whether they agree or not
I have new standards for how I need to be treated

I promise I've been through more I've been through alot
Treat me with resepct and understanding when I speak
Being right sometimes doesnt add value to your thoughts

Thinking a lot means not that I overthink
Listening not to me but others is destructive
I know from experience not from a link

I'm not a child anymore that little boy is rusted
I'm a grown man that has his own views
But I still make mistakes on who should be trusted

If the effort is mainly on one side who has to choose
When nobody wants to make up I have to grown upwards
Because my sidekick Watson surely doenst get the clues

Yet I'm still competing against myself for no rewards
The effort I put in doesnt reciprocate
So I get edgy because I have a goal I'm working towards

Every conversation feels like a new debate
My relations are irrelivent and you don't listen
You aren't honest most often being fake

No being mad you're never wrong in your vision
Of course those rules never apply to me
Tu eres el hefe and thats your mission

The point is that I've matured in ways you wont see
I grow weary of your demands and lack of understanding
and I still find myself wanting to be free

What goes up must come down and I'm landing
I hope I maintain my composure and retain sanity
My last one took that from me without my planning

In the process I was filled with vanity
I pray you're not the same resulting in a tragedy

How easy it is to fall into bad company

Misery is like getting into a hot bath after standing in the rain , the heat soothing bones and setting skin aflame

Loneliness, like a familiar face in a crowd, greeting you with an outstretched hand and a smile

The tiredness is a long car journey, the destination known but not unwelcome

Sometimes I get caught
In a thought.
Humanity.
I see all these humans,
In the lives they
Ought to bloom in.
Often I'll get a glimpse.
A lover winks,
A mother sings,
A friend laughs.
and in between their breaths,
A sigh.
In the space between
Where words can't be seen,
There is always a deeper sadness.
I think everyone is tired.
You can see the weariness in
Cracks on aged skin.
You can see the desperate
Grasps of youth
Trying to find their purpose
Before it's too late.
Time moves fast.
But who is to say that we can't
Make the most of it?
It is true,
You can close the lid of
Your eye
And in a mere blink,
Years have gone by.
Don't waste it.
Live the best life you can,
Full of laughs, love, and excitement.
Don't dwell on things too hard.
For in a second,
It'll all be gone.
And you'll wonder
Where the time went.

Of you
Of your voice
Of your lies
Of your fake smile
Of your fake love
And when I see you with her
After you called to say your flight was late
I know I’m tired
Of my love for you