It dances on my tongue
It’s like fire in my lungs
With every sip
I forget
And my body feels numb
My brain finally calms
I feel a peace now
My eyes start to close
Some momentary bliss
I’m numb
Just drunk enough to feel better
Not drunk enough to die
That’s the way that I like it
Somewhere in between awake and not
I just can’t stand to feel anymore
I hate myself
That ***** but
That’s the truth
I have nothing to offer
And even though I know that’s a lie
I still can’t help but to believe it
I try so hard
But I always come short
They tell me I’m wrong
That I have so much to offer
But I can’t see that all the time
Only some times
And the times that I don’t
I feel that it’s wrong
So here I am
Drinking what could be coffee
And what could be *** and coke
But I think we all know it’s the latter
I just want to quit
Quit life
Quit existence
But I know that’s no option
And I’m sorry that crossed my mind
It’s another way I failed
It seems like that’s all I do lately
But I try
I swear to God I try
This God that I want to believe in
And I see all my friends on fire for him
And I want that
I crave that
But I don’t even know if I truly believe
Do I?
Or do I just want to?
Maybe that’s what’s really wrong
I don’t know
I hate not knowing
But you can’t know
Not with something like this
But there has to be
I refuse to believe there is not God
Because if there is not
Why the hell have I suffered so
There has to be a reason
I need there to be a plan
Is it so bad to believe in God out of desperation?
What if that’s all I have?
Have I completely failed?
I have
And I hate that
I can’t even survive on my own
God, I just want some release
And that is such a dangerous prayer
It’s like asking for forgiveness or patience
You know what they say about that
You ask for it
Then get opportunities instead
That’s not what I want
I want an answer
I want to release the fire in my veins
I want to know that my life meant something
That way I can leave this place
I can die
Knowing I left it just a little better
But I will never know that
And I can’t leave some of these people
And so my sentence
For all the wrong I’ve done
Is survival
And it feels like a violation
Of any claim I have to the eighth amendment
And I’m sorry
I’m sorry that this is how I feel
I’m sorry for being this way
I’m sorry for making your lives harder
I’m sorry
So if this was my letter
That letter people write to say goodbye
I’d tell you thank you
Thank you for helping me live this long
For making me smile and laugh
That you for giving me things to look forward to
Thank you for so so much
There is no way I could write it all down
But that’s not what this is
I won’t die tonight
I’m just drunk
And even if I wasn’t
I wouldn’t
It may be trivial but
I have conventions to go to
My cat to snuggle
Cows to meet
And people I love
Even if I can’t love me.

They say that the good things in life are worth waiting for,” she says.
“Are they?”

“Definitely. The wait *****, but when the good things finally come, you appreciate them way more. So when life gets rough, just remember that. Remember that it’ll get better soon.“

He was a curious lad,
       with a broad chest and strong shoulders.
        His eyes were a deep brown,
        his jaw line sharp and defined.
        He loved action,
        he also loved adventure.
        But most of all he loved to run
        his hand along my legs,
        making me flush in all his
        favorite places.

Many  things


                       are  not  be  counted
                       to   adjust  the
                        life  with   them.



Money  minded  students
can  build  good  profit
earning­  start-ups
to    unemployed  mass.


  
   Moving  vehicles
if  those  are    rushing
speed  may  create
blo­ody  accidents
which  can  ****
millions    job  creator
billions­  of  dollar  losses,
thousands  of  direct  earning  ways.

I enjoy many things about you.

The three undone buttons on your
white collared shirt.

Your collar bone peaking from behind
the strips of fabric.

Your large hands and messy chocolate hair

the simple things in life
lift my spirit

and the simple things in life
crush my spirit

a sweet word can mean so much to me
yet the happiness fades within days, hours, or even minutes

I wish I could invite joy into my heart
and make it stay.

A rainy day
A dead rose
That picture on the wall
My little sisters test
Hanging on the fridge
The project I used to stall
My Polaroid camera
A broken mug
My mom's excuse of fun
A walk outside
A kitty in my lap
The trophies I forgot I won
A forgotten poem
A silent scream
A whisper of the untold true
Little things
Little dreams
All ending with you