I am haunted by the things that embarrass me
Every mistake, every misstep
Comes rushing out
As I lay in bed, trying to sleep
And I’m desperate to cry aloud
And I try to pretend
That I vacuum them away
Into my own Pandora’s box
But that’s the trouble—
It’s irresistible to open—
And I fight the memories as they flood forward
And I close my eyes and squirm—
How can I make them stop?
I can’t sleep for reliving every memory
Of things I wish I’d never done
The things that I question
Did I make a stupid choice
Or did he—
And I blush and I curl up
And I feel so alone
And I can’t forget those awful things
And I think it’s ruining me

In some ways we all are
Mosaics of fragments
Of the people we loved

We fill the holes
they leave in our chest
in their absence

With colored glass
That fits exactly, somehow
In their place-leaving gape

So now you listen to R&B
And have strong opinions
On a brand of apple juice

And you didn’t before, no
But now you do