What are you doing here again?
I'm not your lover and I'm not your friend.
Why are you sneaking round my door?
A familiar face....that I've known before?
And just what do you bring
in offers?

If I do as you'd like then what will become of who I am?
Will I drown in in the deepness of your sea
Or find the very deepest part of me?
Will I feel lost
or will I feel free?
Will I light my soul and keep a smoldering fire?
To fill my heart's deepest desire...
And feel like I cannot get higher?
To the highest place that I can take my myself?

To soothe the deepest ache inside my soul in the deepest deep
You make me nervous
And so I'm intrigued...
So I just might invite you in
As long as not committing sin?
I wonder...

The things that I've been yearning for
You'll release me from this ache I'm sure
And the smell of the sweat and the sweet perfume
A fear embraced of what dangers loom
What it will mean come tomorrow
Could be my delight or such sweet sorrow
When I'm alone again.

Senses I've rarely tapped into before
Just the one time that you rapped at my door
I do not trust you though
Your last visit was so bittersweet
So pardon my bashful and modest retreat
As I feel this all the way out.

If we start with a just a slow sweet kiss...
to find a rumored thing called bliss?
Then I wonder...
if we could we take this...
one moment at a time?

Because before we know it
I could be gone.
Lost in your Temptation

And as you know...
I fear for my salvation.

All Rights Reserved May 26 2016 - Cherie Nolan

I search for bliss
Exchange my dignity
For chemical cures
Wrench my soul
From my anxious body
To sink ever deeper
Into the abyss  
Waves of ecstacy
Fill charred lungs
Resurface
Only to have lost you
Pain, red and hot
Scars my skin
Sell my heart
Ache replaces love
It is an all consuming hurt
Shatters bones on red brick
Cravings; deceptive serpents
Twist around me
Suffocating me
Forcing me to drown myself once more

A thousand moments drip by
One millisecond of time seeps through the cracks
If only happiness could flow through this river indefinitely
Instead it seems that it's feliz is dampened with melancholy

How one instant you can taste the sweet lips of harvest love
After the heart has ripened and fully blooms for you
But then suddenly meet the crow that rips your stability away
As the river is plagued, the crow steals your heart to the sky
Dangling it miles above your head
Taunting you with the feeling of being truly dead.

If my river is sorrowed and my sky devoured
The land seems the only place to go.
I search for refuge in the barren wasteland
Yet find myself solely longing for a swim
And being tempted by the clouds to take to the sky.

It is in this moment that epiphany finds its true meaning.
I can not simply search in these respective realms through solitary actions
Only the transparent soul can navigate these barriers
Finding its purity to make travel worth while.

Therefore I shall roam the sky
Therefore I shall bask in the sea
Therefore I shall embrace the land
For I know that when one is injured, aid is found in another.

I'm standing on the ledge again
How did it all begin
I was minding my own business
But it struck with such quickness
Where did that razor come from
I'm afraid I might succumb
It was like magic it just appeared
The temptation to pick it up is something to be feared
Because if I do I'll slice from ear to ear.

Temptation crawls into my thoughts,
Like a micro- bug,
Planting seeds of inception

& suddenly these wants are birthed.

First,
I kind of wanted to get drunk
&
I kind of wanted to message you.
Now
I want to hold you so tight
the walls between my chest, lungs & heart could break.
I want you to set free these wild creatures behind rib cages,
I can not tame them but, like whales, they sing for you.

However
While in my heart I feel that I should,
in my head I know that I shouldn’t.

So tonight
    I’ll sleep
& awake with regret.

The sad part is
Not that I’ll be regretful
for ever contemplating
these forbidden thoughts

But knowing that I did not perform them.

M

There are two voices
Behind my shoulders
Giving conflicting advice.
One says, Reach;
The other, Draw back.
It's a crisis of decision
For the left or right.
These voices meet
Between my ears,
For a synthesis.
So I listen to the third I hear,
One that avers,
*Live life right.

Three times I was tested
out in the wilderness -
the wilderness of waiting.

My accuser said,
"is that really 
what God told you?"

So, I lifted my eyes asking,
"Father, is that voice 
You, me, or my enemy?"

"Do not doubt my word."
my Father replied,
thundering from heaven.

So I will trust
the word of the LORD
and act upon it.

parked along the blurry perimeter
trying to skirt around the realm
of madness and red lights
prohibiting anyone who moves on curiosity
to investigate the ****** shades of sin
and a greenlit intention to sink
into the soulessness of the underground
we are all screaming
yet we don’t want you to listen
lest you be transfixed with what you hear
exchange a dollar for your dignity
to spend an infinity
reckless in chaos, cowering from the light