This is for the boy.

The boy whom I watch drag his heart around, getting bruised and battered from the rocks thrown at him.

I see you. I see your despair and I see your hunger.
I am your season. The temporary breeze to help end the insufferable inferno of torment.

Let me be that cool water dripping down your chin as you numb the pain.
Bury yourself deep inside my kindness.
Allow my nurturing hands to touch your scars and rather than run away, allow me to run my fingers on them as I trace each imperfection into hope.
Let my heartbeat steady yours.
Let me be feed you confidence and love.

Your heart is still dragging behind, you must be so tired, so let me use mine for you to rest your head.
Then I hear that sigh of release, thinking I am helping you. I am healing you.

The light of the moon leaves my skin that’s soaked with your kiss. As the moon leaves, so do you.

You leave my bed and allow your rested feet to lead you back to her.
To the one who carved out your heart in the first place.

That’s when I remembered, a snake’s venom injects itself without approval. The flower’s nectar is only accessible if you truly want it. One is poison, one is nurturing. I am the flower, she is the snake.

We are all serving something
Be it external, emotional
We are all serving time, thus temporary

Eating away at our identity
These garments we call self
They’re nothing but illusory

I am born to serve
I am, Sat chit ananda
And the Lord’s arms is where i reside
For i am anything..
Anything but, temporary

it could be a sign;
that the ring
didn't fit easily
on the finger
effort was needed
it had to be forced
or it could
just be temporary
joint effusion
perhaps an unexpected
weight fluctuation
meaning nothing
yet i'll assign significance
to fit the narrative
feed anxieties
and support
a predetermined belief

I'm just trying to understand, what I am to you...
more than songs we've exchanged.. midnight calls..

Sleep is a trial period for suicide
You lay there, try to fall asleep
          trying to end it all
Your mind doesn't quiet down
You run through everything from that day
          everything in your life
And slowly the talking quiets
Slowly you start getting peace
          slowly you start to hear everything around you less and less
          every voice, every noise is fuzzy
Your eyes get heavy
          your eyes get heavy
You let the idea of temporary sleep take over you
          you let the idea of sleep take over you
You sleep, for however long you can
          you sleep for forever
But you wake up
          you don't wake up
And you get up and you live your life
Because you're too afraid of what suicide means
You're too afraid of what you leave behind
You're too afraid of leaving your mom
To leave her to grieve her only daughter
Her world
You're too afraid to leave your cat
Who loves you dearly
And wouldn't know why you abandoned her
When she was sent down from heaven
To save you
But you can only put so much pressure on an animal
But know matter how sad you get
You know you could never take your own life
So you go to sleep
Because sleep is suicide for the scared