You thought you'd left the days of make believe behind by the time you were nine.
And yet, years later, here you are
making yourself believe you'll be okay
so you can make your baby believe the same.
Somewhere along the way,
we seem to correlate imagination
with maturity.
But what if it has less to do with growing up and more to do with surviving?
What if it's a defense mechanism?

Then, at the abyss,

a flame shoots up from us, licked --


by the total fire.

Dear death,
I have dropped the rope
I have crossed the road
I am at the other side
Where I see life,
As I have always known
With struggles although
But I won't break.
I'll live and thrive
Until my body is weak
And my soul you seek
Till then,

With love and light,
I choose life again

the goal was to survive.
but the dream was to live.
I was ready to give it my all.
I just had to stay alive.
then, one day, my whole world came crashing down.
first, I lost someone I loved.
then, I lost myself.
cutting through my grief,
the demons in my head suggested I was better off dead.
but another voice said "you know that's not true."
that's when I remembered.
she always told me
"the goal is to survive but the dream is to live."
I was ready to give up.
but if it means I can keep her dream alive,
I will live. I will survive.

We have forgotten
who we are really looking for
when life doesn't hold on to dreams
then live it without love,
and people are getting busier
to see which place is the most comfortable for themselves,
among the boisterous people
vying to be someone else.

We have forgotten
who actually survives
of a life they call a journey
without understanding
where to go home
and they don't realize
that everything had gone too long.

We have forgotten
who actually fell first
when we don't achieve
everything we chase of
what we didn't have
in the first place;
dream,
hope,
love,
or even ideals,
and we feel
we are no longer worthy.

We have forgotten
that actually words
don't want to escape
from the collection of prayers
that we have recited
over and over,
even if it's repeated
we always insult
and berate ourselves.

We have forgotten,
the simplest way
to be a happy human.