It’s my fault
I shouldn’t have found meaning in anything
I shouldn’t have believed any of your words that could implant hope
I shouldn’t have thought that you driving two hours to pick me up meant anything
I shouldn’t have seen any significance in your kiss
I shouldn’t have believed that sleeping together meant something
I shouldn’t have thought that you holding my hand meant anything
I shouldn’t have thought your telling me a happy ending to a story similar to ours meant love.
I shouldn’t have hoped that you would defy the world around us
I shouldn’t have trusted your words that said I was the only one you wanted to see
I shouldn’t have believed your honest eyes
I shouldn’t have thought you meant it when you said you missed me
I shouldn’t have been surprised when you ignored me
I shouldn’t have done any of these things
And I knew better
But it doesn’t change that my heart is breaking worthy of the Richter scale
And I shouldn’t let my world crumble before me, but
This feels like a force of nature under which I will be crushed.

oh my darling!
you make my head spin ever so wildly
drown me in wine
yell that you love me!
as i trace a master piece on your back with my fragile fingers

and they'll call us both mad
the lovers that danced until their feet crumbled
( though you claim you cannot dance )
as we will disregard them all, humanity, and however cliche our midnight rambles may become

I feel good, I feel like if I could find you, we could kiss all night
I think you'd like that version of me,
I think you'd love me with no clothes
I want to reveal who I never was to you,
I want to make you blush, get you drunk on not just alcohol
And we could kiss all night
I won't dare
Feel
A
Thing
Because I won't fall apart, oh no no no

Drowning,
I am Drowning.
As water fill my lungs,
There is a pounding.
As my life comes into perspective,
and i FINALLY understand.
Stupidly, my last thought is:
"Oh, I am finally dying."

Suicidal tendencies
My shirts may be green
But I don't seem to be too lucky
The puddle of purity turned murky.
I have no faith in Gods or people.
Everything nowadays just seem evil.
I'm no different.
I admit it.
I like to smile when I hear you get ******.
My emotions are gone but they aren't missed.

Um hi, my name is Dayton.
I'm a weird fellow who pretends I'm on a permanent vacation.
I may have ideas and wishes
But you can tell I'm not ambitious.
I'm ******* loony
I wanna go all cartoony.
Drop all ideals of common sense,
Conform to the insanity that corrupted my innocence.
You can't see me, I wear my cloak well.
Meanwhile I'm trapped in my own Hell

Knock four times to grab my attention.
I don't mean to ignore you, it isn't my intention.
It just happens when I get lost in thought.
Maybe I'll just get stuck in it and simply rot.
I'm not that stupid though,
I understand when is enough and I should go.
They say good men die young.
What about all the bad who should be hung?
Do we let them live out of generosity or anger?
We let them live their days as a broken shell with without danger.

These are just the ramblings of a mad man.
Just be another lost picture, a "has been".
Another fool who's imagination plays tricks
Deceives all the sane people and turns them sick.
Did you say happiness?
I call it beautiful ignorance.
Maybe I just have a mind of a critical hypocrite.
It's something I hate and just can't live with it.

by loose definition:
to build a muscle,
you must first tear it apart
and let it heal over
and over and over
and over and
over
again before it grows into
its utmost potential.
my heart is a muscle
and let me tell you,
it keeps tearing over
and over and over and
over
and over
again
and so one day it should overtake
my entire person
and spray the whole world
with scar tissue and my greatest,
biggest love.
right?

"I'm sorry..."
I feel a pause,
As I hear myself say the words.
Were they meant for *me
Or someone else?

So many times I tried to convince myself you actually might have cared and you didn't just use me and throw me out like worthless trash. For so long I was fooled by those beautiful **** blue eyes that used to make me smile but now makes my heart ache and my head hurt and my mind yell at me for being so foolish. I asked myself so many times how you can go from saying that you needed me, needed me or else you’d fall apart, to forgetting my name, acting as if it never slipped passed your lips, forgetting that I was the first person who stayed up with you late and night and went out of my way to wipe away your tears...were those tears even **** real or where they a way of getting me to actually believe you cared. Those late nights I stayed up worrying whether or not you were okay. God, I lost so much sleep wondering about you.
I tell others who ask that I hate you and that I don’t care that you’re gone from my life, but there are nights I look down and remember how nice to was to have someone who was always, always there. How I felt special that you chose me to be the person that you’d tell all your secrets too and the first person you’d come to when you needed advice.
But now you go on with your life without even spending one second thinking about me. You go on day after day without having me cross your mind while it's been seven months since we talked and just last night I was up till 2AM on a Sunday night thinking about you and wanting to rip out my own beating heart for caring about you for so long after you long since forgot I even exist.
I tell myself daily that I hate you more than anyone, but I know that I'd forgive you in a heartbeat.