got
up yesterday

and took
a ****

straight into a

can of heinz baked
beans

then placed
back into the freezer.

some days down
the line

an acquantence
found the beans
and took a bite
and complimented my culinary ability.


branches
were swining outside
from the coming
hurricane
and few
lizards
rolled underneat the carpet so as to escape the elements
and absorb the warmth.


suzy
is still crazy,

but she died in december.

george is ugly
like a cancerous bat-faced
ectomorph
but has a heart of gold.

larry is just a ***-

and he knows it.


but some nights
i still cuddle
with dawn
and speak to the mermaids that kiss me goodnight
as i stroke myself
to sleep
in a dull
memory
and voided
receipt that is the 'hour of beguilement'.

How stupid of me
To push people away
Afraid
They might pretend to care but actually don't

How stupid of me
To isolate myself
Destroying an avenue
Where I could've been helped

How stupid of me
To be like this
Attempt to ask for help
But too scared to speak up once helped.

you use love
like a magic word
to get what you want
and gosh,
I'm so stupid
for believing
in sorcery.

I don't know why
every single time
we have a fight
I remember that time,
the time you hurt me the most.

My view just as yours, no better or worse
Everyone’s right in his eyes

Of nothing I’m sure except there is nothing sure
A contradiction in itself, certainty of complete uncertainty!

I do as I please, and despite what you say, I will not seize
Do my actions make you feel distraught? Change my ways, you cannot!

The earth goes around, some may say; and others the reverse
It’s neither here nor there; it’s all based on what you can bear!

Of all things I know I’m right, because I feel them in my heart
How dare you disbelieve me? My faith makes me care free!

Be released from your prison, release your mind and be set free!
There is nothing absolute in life, only what kills your internal strife

You cannot offend me, in my beliefs I am firm – they are shaped after me!
Like my god - I am a clone, he looks just like me!

I overlook my deity, by defining god I become He.
My god would do no other, I am right and he can do no wrong – did I stutter?

How do I know I’m not wrong? Because I am head strong
My defenses are fully placed, my time to doubt I will not waste

I am right in my own eyes; we tell ourselves all kinds of lies
In the end, this it changed: our life and after have been exchanged

Do you ever wish you could turn it off?
Your mind, your heart, your saddest song?
The part of you that lays awake
until the crack of dawn in tears and shaking.
The part that wants to hide away
the one inside who stays
only to make your day horrible before it's even begun.
Don't you wish you could turn it off?

What is waiting for me? I hate the unknown
Does this what makes life beautiful? Or the tomb?

Darkness sets in and i bleed again
I close my eyes and wait for my end

I lost faith in humanity and myself
A tear escapes my eye before my last breath

I hold my wound and curse my luck
Coward or brave? I know not

A shining silver nail and my stitched veins
A story of a lonely kid experiencing numbness and pain

Words Of Harfouchism

Idiotic girl,
ranting in the form of a sentence
in this forum full of nonsense
about how an old friend
felt her up despite knowing
she has sexaul trauma issues...
but that's just her post today.
Tomorrow there will be something
else that actually triggers me,
but she doesn't care about that possibility,
does she?