Sometimes I like to think I'm a lady
Them I remember I'm wearing ***** shorts and a satanic tee

Sometimes I like to pretend I'm smart
Then I panic and fail another test

Sometimes I like to believe I'm all better
Then I have another panic attack

There is always room for improvement and acceptance

i wish there were more ways to say that i found an oasis in the form of your touch
i wish i could count the pains that i carry like satchels everyday
strung off my shoulders
i wish i knew why i refused to let them fall
i wish gravity would just have its way with me
toss me aside and find a new giddy little thing to run this so called world
i wish i knew how to tell you that i want to be a bird
not because they can fly away from here
not because they grace their homes with bright colored feathers i could never adorn
but because they are hollow
they are hollowed out, weak, frail and somehow it makes them stronger
or perhaps i wish not to be hollow
but to filled with something other than you

And I can sometimes feel myself
spiralling down the stairs of your heart
Slowly drawing away from the affection
we once intertwined our fingers to
Like,
Is anything ever enough for you?
My deepest fear was by far losing you
but at this point in time I think
my deepest fear was actually losing myself
through loving you
I drew a picture of my self portrayed as an attachment
beside your being on canvas
That was my first mistake
Being an attachment and not an asset
Being an attachment and not a soulmate
Being an attachment instead of being a part of you
You let me grow onto your skin like fungus
refusing to scrap away from your abuse
in belief that that’s how we’re supposed to be handled
You left me mistreated as if abandonment was the definition of my name
And although I may seem like the stupid one here
the reality is that I was only blind
You played all your cards right
with the all so attractive face
I saw your lips constantly promise me lies
and that’s when I knew for sure that
the three special words that are most often used,
are rather quite abused and in many times by you
That it’s people of your replica who
**** out the saucy meaning from pleasures
and scrap away it’s taste
Both when it comes to words
and when it comes to sacrifice
I gave up my purity
for the desire of your heart and
for the feel of your touch
It’s quite sad and rather embarrassing
to realise how mislead I was
A dog, I felt like, astray
and pushed away
with plenty of dismay
when I thought I was okay
And even though I can sit here today
and proclaim a testimony,
my prognostication is the continuous witnessing of acrimony
When women generalise that
‘men are trash’,
it’s sad to know that only a few spoiled the rest
Because it’s true that not all are the same
but once so much has been taken away from you,
it’s difficult to try and stay sane
But now, as I keep
spiralling down the stairs of your heart
Slowly drawing away from the affection
we once intertwined our fingers to,
I’ll always remember that it was not only you
who had the souls of our girls
but rather the influence of the ***** grains
that claimed they had the world in the palms of their hands
when really, all they were taught too
was the misinterpreted identity
of what a dominating male is perceived to be like

I’m being burned:
Burned by the water.
The water’s hot,
But I am hotter.

I hide my feelings
Intermittently
Under a juvenile behavior
I am but a child
But only in the eyes of fools.

Wise men see what's beneath
The unspoken words covered up in a heartbeat
They learn to watch more; say less
They understand there's more to things than meets the eye
They see through the facade
But give no comment
They wait for the right time
To dig up the whole truth
Then they wipe your eyes when you cry
Hold you together when you breakdown
Raise you up when you hit the ground

Somehow I'm surrounded by only fools
No one can be blamed for this but me
For the kind of company I chose to keep.