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yāsha Jul 2016
I stood still like a frozen pole
when you held your hand out to me;
With that one swift movement
I felt my lips suddenly turning pale
I felt it resonate–mumbling what ifs
I felt desperate
Of these comforting misfits
I was fine when there
was no hand in front of me,
I was fine with these lips
uttering my own apologies,
but then you held out
your hand just like that–
hands that I have been waiting for ever since.
You only came when I felt comfortably numb
so tell me why,
why would you only show up at times like these?

I would love to take your hand,
I would love to–
but every time I try to reach it,
anxiety starts to hammer my ribs
and I cannot let these break just like that
for these ribs are the cages that protect my heart–
cages that assures I am safe.

I returned my hand to where it belong,
to where it feels safe–
I put it behind me
and found pure bliss,
this bliss murmuring that I was safe—
you were safe for now.

I felt afraid
because holding another person’s hand means,
“I trust you”
“you are safe with me”
“I will fight for you”
but you see,
these hands are perfectly shaped weapons
I try to keep to keep close
for I cannot witness another
person bleed with pain,
I cannot witness another person
look at me with shame–
for these hands are guns
that learned to shoot bullets instead of flowers
to keep me sane,
and let you know that
people like me are dangerous for you to keep.

Here as I speak,
I give my deepest apologies
for the souls I shoot with bullets–
with the reasons that came out selfishly.
But I want you to understand
that I did it because I stood for my own defense–
because no one ever did.

When you held out your hand
When you tried to give me a flower–
I had this silly thought
that you knew I was dying.
It petrified me
that you would enter my life
to **** me even more.
To let me die even more.

I pointed my hand at your head–
now I hope you do not ask
any more questions,
I hope you realize
this is the end.
(a long *** poem)
they say love is complicated.
no,
people do make love more complicated
wes parham Jun 2016
The reflecting pool lay long and flat, a massive mirror door...
I stepped up to it's concrete edge, and looked down to it's floor.
I saw pale tiles beneath the water, some pennies, a dime, a nail.
I dropped my thoughts beneath this sea, which quickly grew in scale.

One foot of water became, thus, ten... A hundred... thousand... more.
My view was that of one who's soaring many miles above some shore.
I was, at once, consumed with fear at how this made me feel,
That is to say, I convinced myself that this height was truly real.

That was when I dreamed I fell, but before I'd be no more,
I had much time to think awhile on what had come before.
I had much time to regret the past, and dread what was yet to be,
Saw images of fortune, ruin, the dust of you; the ashes of me.

Small joys helped to bridge the gaps where fear eroded hope,
The terror of  my empty room, the makeshift hanging rope.
My thoughts of death reminded me that the moment should be much more,
I opened my eyes to the rushing air, my throat felt raw and sore,
Looked down to see a blaze of leaves and the fast approaching forest floor.

Asleep, I fell, through sunlit leaves that seemed to fill the space,
Awake, I stood beside the pool when you had touched my face.
Something in your eyes was telling me you were concerned,
You somehow knew the man who left was not the man who returned.

We stood at the shore then, you and I, expressing futures yet to pass,
Fishing out mythologies and illusions that might last.
Our mouths were full of histories and secrets that we bared,
The reassuring comfort that illusions can be shared.

Look east and see the brightening sky, but not yet see the sun,
Look west and see the shrinking black,
The place where last night's stars have run.

Look up and see the limbs and leaves of the high forest canopy,
The ones above the gloom that's half obscuring you and me...
A bright gold glow suffuses them, but only way up high,
Where they already see the dawn, and the guiding star that fills their sky.

I'm reminded by these tall trees rising high into the air,
When shadow darkens my small world, but light is everywhere,
You do not need to see the sun to know that it is there.

So as I lifted up my face,
To where sunlight paints the highest tree,
In this expansive time and place,
I felt the same; beautiful and free.
Read here by the author:
http://wesparham.tumblr.com/post/145722638622/tell-me-what-this-poem-means-to-you-this-is-a

This is a collaboration with a poet friend.  We have traded original titles and tasked each, the other, with writing anything at all under that title.  No rules, just the title as a touchstone; a point of departure.  My friend's titles are sometimes long and descriptive. This one made me think of a sensory experience I have had in dreams and waking hours, too, where I play with the reference of world scale inside of my head, my relative spatial perception becoming expansive and colossal.    The title evoked the memory of this feeling, so I set about describing it in verse.
Macy Opsima Jun 2016
I am a writer, a ****** of words. I am a pen that's skipping ink but I still continue to write despite the broken lines because that's what I'm made for in the first place. Maybe the reason why I get hurt so much is that I fall in love with words a lot. I'm in love with people who is in love with literature. These poems and letters may not be made for you or because of you but their main purpose of being written is to move you. I want you to do something about that girl who works in your favorite book shop because I don't want you commiting the same regrets as I did. I want you to raise your voice and write about the oppression or the wage gap. I want you to write about something from the deepest part of your chest. I want you to write about something I cannot write about.

But some days, I feel nothing. I could write about being in love and about the color of their eyes but nowadays, their eyes look exactly the same. I could write about sadness but sadness itself is what hinders me to grab a pen. Now, I could write about happiness. But I rarely feel this way and when I feel this way, ******* I feel this way. I could gather these words about being filled with the color yellow but happiness will say that those words are not enough to fathom the euphoria I feel in me. Maybe one day, I could explore enough dictionaries to find the perfect words on what I have to say.

You don't have to be the greatest writer there is to make someone feel something through your words. Write about everything, every emotion, and every person who finds their way to your heart. When you can't write anymore, get outside and get your heart broken. Go outside and experience an experience that you never thought you would experience. Soon enough, you will write the words you never thought you would ever write. Don't hold anything other than offensive and oppressive thoughts back. Let the poetry run through your veins and drip down your fingertips. Write, write, and write until you can't write anymore. When you can't write anymore, seek a perhaps to write about then write, write, and write until you can't anymore. Even when the poem is below my satisfaction, I continue to share it anyway because being stoic and still would lead me to madness.

I am a writer, a ****** of words. I am a pen that's skipping ink and even though my lines are broken and unappealing, I continue to write anyway and because that is what I am made for in the first place.
Maillane Morison Jun 2016
Tea
A tea cup
cold and no longer fresh on
the granite countertop because
I made it this morning when I
woke up with a feeling in my stomach that I would
need the comfort I
didn't find at home whenever I
opened that door and walked into a
place that made my heart cold even when I
turned up my collar against the
chill.  It's like when you hear the song that
answers all the questions in your head and
you feel the acoustics embrace you and
everything is soft and warm and you feel sad but
safe in phantom arms but then the
song ends and you are
alone again and afraid because
the pain of being alone did not prepare you for
the emptiness of being left and
there's this
whistling in your head,
a tea kettle warning, begging as you
take the pill bottle from the medicine cabinet and
the whistling grows more urgent as you
take off the cap and pour the
pills into your steady hand and then it
shrieks as you raise the pills to your lips and everything it
so ******* loud and frantic and your mind is chaos in
this one second before everything goes black and quiet and in
the second before the kettle is silenced all you
can think of is the tea cup you left,
cold and no longer fresh on the
granite countertop because you
woke up with a feeling that
you would need it.
-mm
Pam Zaragoza Jun 2016
your words-

a fire in my heart

a hitch in my throat

senses tingling

skin prickling

lips craving

toes curled

soul bared

a being aware

of the love you feel

for someone far away.

-save me
Macy Opsima Jun 2016
if i were a little taller
maybe i could be big enough to be your sun
if i grew a few inches overnight
i would be able to fix that broken light
i could talk to people without
hurting the back of my neck
i could reach that blue canvas above
i could see the city
the endless stretch of a green scenery
in all of it's light and glory
maybe if i were a few inches taller,
i could strut that outfit
without looking like a
child straight out of the 90s
i could run faster
towards that goal
i could dream higher
i could finally stand out
you could spot me in that picture
with the face i drew earlier

but i guess
i'll just be down here forever
that girl who was nothing more
than a person below your elbow
somtimes i walk alone
and i feel like the world is drowning me
although i see the sky
and it keeps on screaming
"this is vast"
"this is yours"
"the world is yours"
but i cant always feel that way
i cant feel among you
when your arm is resting
on my shoulder
it pushes me further
into the ground that holds
all of the demons that'll tell me
that im not good enough for this world

i am not a barricade
i am not a post
i am not a doll
i am not an object
i want to see what's in front of you
i want to be seen
but i guess
i'll just have to accept
that this will all i will ever be.
Macy Opsima Jun 2016
They told me your first love
will always haunt you and the were right.
You bang on yhe doors of my heart
every minute of every night.

They told me first love will always
be the most special and they were right.
You are still the blood that rush through my veins.

They told me first love will never die
and that's where they were wrong.
Because why am I still in love with a ghost?
Pam Zaragoza May 2016
You don't know me.

Please stop pretending that you do.

-a conversation with my brain
Maillane Morison May 2016
You know,
One of those times I was
Looking out the window at the
Night I asked out loud who
You were. It
Wasn’t the first time.
Sometimes I
Cried your name but my
Voice was too heavy with
Tears. And another time I
Screamed your name and my
Hands were in fists. But
Lately it seems all I do is
Whisper your name into the
Dark and hope you’ll hear me
Because I couldn’t speak much louder
If I tried. I won’t
Give up on you though because I
Know someone was there and
Was there all along
Sitting beside me when my
Wrists ran red with blood on the
Cold bathroom floor. And
Someone was there in the
Corner of my eye when
He lay on top of me and held my
Shaking hands down. You were
Watching in silence and I
Kept screaming your name because I
Wanted you to sweep me into your
Arms and I started to lose hope when
You didn’t come like they
Told me you would. But
Now I see you were always there,
Always standing a
Little distance off and believing in me
When I was putting all my faith
In you. And now I see
As I look through the window at the
Night that you were swimming
Behind the reflection of my eyes and
You were there all along,
My unbreakable soul.
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