Lips so red
Looks like they've bleed
For the lies you've spread

Eyes so blue
They're soulless too
Your blackness grew

Your arms entrap
Ensnare, react
I'm imprisoned, snapped

Your heart is hollow
In evil you waller
You make me scream and holler

Out of control
Out for my soul
My heart you stole

With that self inflicted wound were she ripped out her own soul
There was things she didn't know
Things that also had to go

What went first was empathy
Followed close by sympathy
Then of course was faith
But that really died with years of agonizing wreath
I would say dreams
But those died years ago it seems

What hurt the most
And why it was so hard to cope
Was the microcosm thin string holding hope
It was crushed in the grind
No where you look, will you find

She no longer believed in yin and yang
Or karma, they where the same, nonexistent
She seemed to know it in an instant
Nothing happened for a reason
To think that would be treason
It was all just random chaos, and dumb luck
Just depends on what side of the coin you're stuck
There was only random acts of cruelty
This world is more than unruly

With these facts now planted firmly in her head
What little light within her fled
The darkness slowly seeped inside
As she gasped out one silent sigh
Now totally consumed, she would never shed a tear, it was as if she had never cried
For her former self passed away, her old personality died

and how much I miss you I cannot put into words
though your words are the ones I miss.
There are days that are easier without you
and days that I can feel my feeling going away.
I can feel myself fighting it--fighting the numbness
and nothingness.
It's hard.
I have to tell myself that I'm happy, to be happy.
I can't remember a time when I was truly genuinely happy.
when I was with you I thought I was happy, I forget what that feels like.
I wonder if you're happy, can u teach me how to be happy?
I don't think you can teach someone how to do something that comes naturally to you, right?
I don't feel anything when I think of you.
that's a lie.
I feel nothing with a hint of smiles.
it's a weird feeling and it makes me nauseous.
literally.
it makes me feel dizzy and it makes me throw up.
I still want to hold your hand.
I want to lay next to you forever.
I think of you and I think of nothing but genuine feeling.
whether it be pain or butterflies, I feel something.
i want to fade into you.
I know you don't read these anymore and it kind of makes me glad.
but it's not like I wouldn't've written this if I knew you were gonna see it. you know I don't care.
you know that for you I'm an open book.
nothing to hide.
the only lie I've ever told you is that I've never lied to you.
I lie to you every time we speak.
I don't tell you this.
I don't tell you how badly I want to run all the way to your arms and never let you go.
I don't tell you because I know that there are times where weeks can go by and you don't think of me.
I think it's strange.
I've never been able to go a whole hour without thinking of you.
I don't hate it, but I don't know how to make it go away.
I don't want to forget you the way you've forgotten me
but I want to let you go the way
you've let me go.

but the questions kept coming.

do you love him?

do you love him?

and all of a sudden my eyes couldn't speak.

from one day to another i wasn't sure if my heart wanted to love you anymore.

I look at the boxes of letters I sent to you and the empty ones I kept just in case you missed me so much you had to write me back.

these boxes they haunt me, because they could have been full of the words you'd wished you'd spoken but never did.

but they stay empty till this day, proving once more that your love was nothing but artificial and that when you finished emptying out your boxes into mine there was no use for me anymore.

"this will not end in heart break" you said to me as you entered my soul and stole all that had meaning.

now I'm a wandering crow, soulless and hungry.

haven't you heard? when you feed a bird just once, they'll always come back for more.

On late spring nights
a breeze through cracked windows
feeds silent madness
It screams louder than life
Memories flow as a river
Their resentment for my existence
once brought depression
After years of absorbing rancor
the onslaught of sandpaper words
ground my soul into flakes
carried away in the wind

Hollowed into a human cask
guilt has nothing to grasp
Hatred from others means little
Perhaps amusement
A muffled chuckle
breathed into the pillow
breaks the silence
until sleep

And be released onto the streets

Where nothing eats

Because lost and nothing is all we are.

Loose beneath the stars

Sadness has taken its toll

I gave away my soul

Soulless through the eyes but not in your heart.
We once broke each other apart.
the puzzle of love did not come together.
Until we found each other again and forever.