i wish i knew if what you said was true
and i wish that you would fight for me
but you can't even fight for yourself
you tell me to stop when i'm drinking
that it's bad
and that i'll die young
but i think you're always forgetting that i don't care
i'll sleep forever one day,
with my muscles lax and my bones weightless,
and i'll evaporate into the soil
and nourish the worms and the weeds
i hope that when i'm gone
you won't mind too much
and hopefully i'll leave you a gift
because i don't want to disappear
worth nothing to you

You're not so great
Look at how you treat people
Look at how you treat yourself
Actually, that's all you ever do
What's so important about You?

You work all week and visit me
frequently
You take me in your hands and kiss me
oh so deeply
Quickly taking me into you
Steady handed at first,
but how soon you turn sloppy

A ghost in the room
You're all but dead
No one remembers you,
But you blame it on me
See?  
I didn't come to you
I never sought you out
Not on Fridays
Not on long weekends
Not on bad days,
or just because days.

I never even told you we were friends
Nope!
You know what they say about the word assume
The only thing I ever did
was let your monster out
Oh!  He was already there
It's in all of you,
but most do a pretty good job at caging it…
til I come around with the keys to the kingdom

I'm still not taking responsibility though
No way!
You knew what I was when you were just a boy
Your father showed you,
but you forgot
It's okay
Everybody does, and it's not his fault

Look at yourself!
You're the gatekeeper man!
I'm just the ******* with the key
Don't let me in

Look at yourself and solve the problem
Leave me on ice
Unopened
Untouched
Let somebody else play with my fire, boy!
Keep that monster within, ya hear?
Keep the fire in the pit

Look at yourself….

The wall is a place where dreams can happen
Look to the left. Why?
Nothingness
Screams emptiness at you
To make you regurgitate your thoughts
Into a blank place.

Give me your mind
The wall screams silently
One colour one tone one grey
Wall, another grey wall
Making up my grey home

I am in the corners of your mind
Says the wall
The wall laughs at me for it can be as still
As I ever could be
I long for quiet- I long for space
I long for emptiness no emotion no pace
Forever still like the wall

I envy its maker. Man.
Man made wall.

I want to LISTEN, and not think.
I want to SEE, and not blink.
Be SATIATED, without drink.
I want to LISTEN, and not think.

when people have faith in you
and believe you are a good thing for them
will it hurt more to disappoint them with the truth
or disappoint them with the lie

i am not what you think i am,
and i will not be what you believe i can be

you say you'll take your chances
and i grit my teeth
and disagree and disagree and disagree

your smile softens as my edges burn
and the heat brings tears to my eyes

you can't afford to believe in me more than i believe in myself
but it looks like you're willing to go broke trying

You wake up every morning,
Head's banging and your mind is drowning,
And you promise yourself,
Last night would be your last drink,

Sometime you make it till noon,
When your feeling big and proud in an empty room,
I should give myself a pat for a good job,
May be a glass full of rocks and a good scotch,

You find yourself back to square one,
Downing bottles like its "day one",
You spring back to where you started,
Waking up in the morning heavy hearted,

You need to decide where to stop,
You need to decide when to turn,
Its a fight that both your hands need to grasp,
Its a either you are all in or you've lost,