this cigarette that I press against my lips, will do way less damage to me than you ever did.
the taste will reside in my mouth momentarily, but it will vanish unlike your cherry chapstick that I'm trying to forget.
smoke clouds swirl around me before the wind blows it all away— reminds me of the lingering memories of you I can't help but to replay.
I might have a smokers cough someday, that's still better than enduring constant heartbreak.
the pack in my back pocket is the only sense of relief I get from the agonizing daydreams, I still see how your dress ended at the seams.
I was temporary to you, but you were permanent to me. . . exactly like all my bad tendencies.

Silence. Wait by the phone.
Tears. You feel alone.
Deep cuts. Addiction prone.
Aroma. Fangirl, full blown.
Protective. You treat me as your own.
Singular. You left me to get ******.

Headache from smoke intake
Heartbreak from a mistake

lessons are learned
and hatred hurts
but i'll slip away from your grip
just to feel the burn
on my lips
down my throat
in my lungs
overdose
i might not live
my body could reject this poison
boys &
***** &
smoke filled rooms
where'd you go my girl?
overdose
don't get too close
recovery only lasts for a time
but then times up &
it's back to the bottle &
drunken kisses &
rolled up death notes
overdose
no one knows
i can't help it
relapse many times in a row
third times a charm  
that's how life goes
you get real high &
then down you go
*overdose

Trying to Breathe**

I'm sure when my Mom brought me into this world,
She would have never imagined I would have done something so stupid.
That day 1964 is still clear as hell..blowing clouds of "killa" with my very first smoke.
Kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette all on the sameday..Milestone..NOT
Nothing but a cool fool...So Cool.....My *** was frosted over!

This COPD death sentence reeks of a smell you never get rid of.
Shallow strained breathing keeps time with syncopated heart beats.
And if your a smoker my friend I know this message is gonna get your attention.
Let the message sink in and swirl around your head like those clouds of "killa".
And remember this................

"You can't delete racism. It's like a cigarette, you can't stop smoking if you don't want to and you can't delete racism if people don't want to. But I'll continue do everything I can to help!"

-K.E. Carman 2015

You know you have good bud when finger tips are sticky
No seeds
Stems bend not break
Dank aroma sparks desire to elevate
Roll
Burn
Puff
Laugh
THC makes me lazy
Left sober with nothing to eat

Mom yells beacause an empty plate is left from what was eaten
A fork and syrup remain where flapjacks once layed
Lips sticky
A flying saucer lands on carpet
Ants investigate because I am lazy
Brain stimulation allows for barriers to be broken
Stress lives on the first floor but on A roof dwells laughs
So often I catch an elevator

Only mellow tunes can be heard on this elevator
Food for thought is french rolled not eaten
Worries drowned out from laughter
Now no situation seems too sticky
Ambition for new ideas can't be broken
At these heights interest has home field advantage over laziness

Nothing good ever comes to the lazy
Full potential could never elevate
Bad habits leave you broke
If you don't work you don't eat
Situations become sticky
When it's  back to the first floor where presense is absence of laughter

Only to keep from crying do I laugh
No longer high I mope around lazily
Mouth salivating for something rank and sticky
No alternatives for an out of order elevator
Kitchen cabinets bear nothing to eat
I am broke

But my spirits never broken
Sadly I watch other people laugh
Watch other people eat
Who's is really to blame for being lazy?
Stairwells are alternatives for elevators
There's nothing like being high on life
Less sticky