Time is an unusual concept
Perspective I have yet to understand
Current washing us clean of everything
Seconds slipping through fingers like grains of sand

I am sorry for ways I've treated you bad
It was myself
Not you
Making me mad

Over my rage have no control
You suffer unfairly for the darkness in my soul

I do not mean to take out my insecurity
On anyone else
It can be too much for me

Sometimes I am bothered to the point where I snap
In black and blues paint on my thighs a detailed map

So everyone sees how I got to where I am
Somewhere between point A and point B stopped giving a ****

On my flesh insanity artistically explained
Story written myself not in shades of ink
But pain

Come closer so maybe you read and undestand
My efforts did not work out as planned

I do not have what it takes to improve
Instead of striving I hardly move

Trying to make your problems less difficult than they are
Another layer to the puzzle already too hard

I do my best
Hold my tongue instead of cuss and yell
No words could convey why  being with you is hell

I do not get my irrational emotions either
I try to calm myself
You won't let me take a breather

Because you are convinced I will do my health harm
Do it for me accidentally with restraining arms

I vainly attempt to maintain my composure
You start flinching and it's all over

If you say I am crazy
Crazy is what you'll get
How you speak about me makes me upset

When I work my *** off
Be perfect and chill
Make me out to be a psychopath still

Your idea of me clearly set in stone
You only are with me because you fear being alone

I am writing my thoughts as if it will matter
You won't read between lines scattered

It is easier for you to act as if it's all in my head
I have no reason to ache and should be satisfied instead

You may be right about mental state and such
I only flip out because I care way too much

You cannot create more passion than you actually feel
Quit deceiving both of us and for once be REAL

Your love for me the only thing of which I have no doubt
It is all the other ******* I am unsure about

If I am your best friend won't you confide?
Closeness we used to share must have died

Or maybe made that part up as well
So confused at this point can no longer tell

To avoid your displeasure try to be tough
It literally kills me knowing I'll never be enough

Do not ask me why I'm sniffling from now on
There exists no right answer because each is wrong

I am the reason behind everlasting pain
It really doesn't make sense to complain

I just wish knew why you manipulate and lie
Say you just want my happiness then do things that make me cry

Be honest
I don't supply what you need
Don't expect commitment if you can't return the deed

I am losing my mind
You're slipping away
If you know what is good for you you won't bother to stay

I'm losing control
I'm letting it all go
It's slipping through
My fingers now
Everything I believe

There's just too much to hold
My burdens feel so heavy
I'm just not strong enough
I'm too weak to hold on any longer

You told me I could do it all
So I did, but you were wrong
Now my faith is scattered
And I don't know how
To pick up all these pieces

I haven't let go
I don't want to
But I can't hold on alone
Everything is already slipping
Spinning out of control
And I need
CONTROL