Walking a straight line
It’s not so easy even with a Bible and love for your children
That’s what they say anyway

But my thoughts are not so still
I can still smell salt near the ocean
My breath quickens in mountain air
And I feel humility in every moment

There are no obstacles I cannot recognize
Because the path is my own
All that is required
Is the strength to overcome my sin

What sound cannot be summoned from within
What memory cannot be recalled at will
But I see you watching me
As I watch you
Your distance is the same as mine
I can only wonder if my journey is the same as yours

Could you that I would with you as I could if you would with me

The confusion of a life constructed to endure
The questions of loyalty to decisions already made
It does not mean I could never love you

It only means I do not know where to begin

Lethargic energies found on the corner street
Dreams devoured by their caustic cigar
Infatuated with not what to eat...
All the seek is the next bottle of liquor


The women selling mealies and vetkoeks
Hoping for at least, a penny
The kids are back from school but too hungry to entertain books
No wonder these kids grow to be as fatuous as Lenny

Forgive me my Little One
That you have to see and endure this crunch
I know you long for your old man
But he chose to leave and will never have the chance.

My heart aches when you look for him
You’re way too young to understand his whim
But know that I’ll never leave your side
However things turn out on the other side.

Hush dear child, Mama's got this.
Fear none, my shields are endless.
You and I, we're infinite;
Forever threading the waves of life.
Highs and lows.
Scars behold.
Together we'll rise unscathed.

You cheated on my mother with your insignificant other.
She was carrying your child, whilst you were in bed with another.

You had a family.
A child on the way.
A loyal wife on your side.

How could that not matter?
I suppose we don't matter either.
In all honesty I never expected more.

All the Father's day cards I never sent.
All the I love you's I pray you never get.
All The I love you's my mother never heard.

She deserves better.
Your "marriage" is absurd.
Your "commitment" has been murdered.

Don't tell me what to do!
God knows you haven't done a thing.

The Demon inside my heart,
Running through my veins and my mind
You damaged me without showing  your face
Yes I am Stronger,
Than I would be if you were here.
I would thank you
But the thought of it makes me ill.
The thought of seeing your worthless face alone will make me want to *****.

You could have been worse.
Could have stuck my mother.
Molested my siblings and I.
But to leave five young children
With an Ill mother,
To me, Is unforgivable.

If you had beaten us,
I would have a real reason to curse your rechid soul as I do.
Perhaps the rage and hatred is all in my mind.
But I care not.
For you now hold no breath, and no claim to me.

Before I turn 20 I had to make a real decision I'm three weeks away and I still haven't came up with a realistic proposition for myself who am I kidding here? We all have a future thats destind for greatness and its on me whether or not Ima take it! Run wall street with heavy feet, steel toe for anyone or anything standing in my way! The universe is huge but this money game is tight only a broad few really making it to survive, and I be **** if I dont produce income, for moms to retire before Im 25! Seems like im placing the bars high, truth hurts an honestly this is why I grind!