Lili and I disliked each other growing up.
But with age, we learned the act of being patient, of feeling heard, seen and learning how to love and trust one another.
And quite frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way.
It taught me the value of working for a relationship with someone you hold so dearly.
It taught me the importance of,
“If one wanted to, one would.”

The thought…no, even the idea of losing my sister kills me.
Because when the time comes where our parents will pass, it’ll just be Lili & Karla.

She’s the only I’ll have.
The only living proof of my childhood,
the only living proof I had a loving family.

I cannot bear the loneliness that may arrive one day.
I must have her with me, to accompany me through this lifetime.
It’s us until the end of our lives.

For when the sun awakens, and when the sun sets.
For when the moon rises and falls again and again.

My heart longs for us to be together until the end of time.
But I know such things are not promised.
A soul can only wish.

So with each passing day.  
my heart quietly breaks, preparing itself for that treacherous moment.

She is my cherry flats.
The ones I treasured so dearly as a child.
She knew how much I loved those shoes.
And just like those flats, I truly do love you Lila.

Your shadow and mine
are one and the same

They fill up with shame

We swallow the tears
of our once young years

so we don't meet eyes
afraid of what we'd find

but my body still aches
with every pain you take