Massive, gray, these leaden waves
bear their unchanging burden—
the sameness of each day to day

while the wind seems to struggle to say
something half-submerged planks at the mouth of the bay
might nuzzle limp seaweed to understand.

Now collapsing dull waves drain away
from the unenticing land;
shrieking gulls shadow fish through salt spray—
whitish streaks on a fogged silver mirror.

Sizzling lightning impresses its brand.
Unseen fingers scribble something in the wet sand.

Originally published by Southwest Review

I had built my confidence out of fragility
It was like a sandcastle, so beautiful and bold

I almost believed in it; I was almost convinced
That this confidence will endure the strongest of tides

But then and with the first wave of reality
The sands moved under the castle that was swallowed by the shore.

And denial swallowed my presence along with the storms of insecurity and fear ...

I'm in the middle of this ocean
which seems infinitely extending.
I try to swim
even though I don't know how to,
but all I ever see is water,
and more water
surrounding me.

I'm stuck in this cycle
of trying to swim all day
only to be tossed by the waves at night,
back to square one.
It just starts all over again.

Sometimes, I think, maybe it isn't worth it
to hope that the waters will be calm
until I reach the shore.
But I always, always end up hoping,
or maybe I'm not hoping,
maybe I'm just fooling myself.

I drown sometimes,
but I still, somehow, manage to breathe again.
My lungs hurt from trying to go for air sometimes.
I guess I don't have much of a choice.
So I breathe.
And swim.
And swim some more.

Sometimes, I swim
not to reach the shore
but to go away
from the place
where this all started — the middle.
I hate being in the middle of the waters.
It doesn't feel safe.

I am lost.
I swim but I don't really know the way to the shore.

I'm not even sure if the shore even exists, anyway.

Waves that cry love,

rage within me,

crashing violently against your shore.

You hold me firmly for a second or two

Then gently, through your fingers

Let me slip through.

You know,

I will come back to you.

The stars gather across the night sky,

To witness our love

As you and I form a rhythm,

Breath against breath,

Your chest against mine,

The music of our heart beats

Synchronize.

Reaching the depths of my dark soul,

You unravel me,

Stripping each layer,

Worship me.

Unhinged by the expectations of the world,

I’ve never felt so beautifully naked

In my own skin.