smother me in my sleep
leave me in my dreams forever
i can find peace in the dark
meaning in overrated anyway

...centipedes underneath big rocks in the dirt.
...worms on the pavement in the rain.
...rotting roadkill you drove over today.
...maggots writhing inside of dead brains.
...rainbows in great puddles of oil.
...fakest person you'll ever ******* meet.
...weeds and crabgrass polluting the soil.
...reason I hate humanity.
...nightmares preventing your sleep.
...dreams making your knees weak.
...scab you can't stop picking.
...ulcer you can't stop licking.
...spider in the bathroom sink.
...shakes you get if you don't drink.
...doubt whispering inside your mind.
...lies you've been fed all your life.

I haven't talked to you in so long, so long that you'd think I'd forget,
that I'd forget the times you could capture my heart with a glance
My heart, damaged and scarred like your cheek
the thing under your eye that you thought caught everyone else's
because you were too vain to realize that everyone was staring
not at your cheek that you were so ashamed of,
but rather your irises so piercing,
reminiscent of the battles you had fought so fiercely
though you'd been in too much pain to realize it was you who had brought those problems upon yourself,
And when into my life you emerged, your anger and resent snuck in too
You'd insisted you needed me, but I grew to need you
Addicted, I couldn't exist without the reciprocation of the love I gave to you,
you taught me to manifest my insides on the outside
For yet another six months I never could exist without scars on my wrist
I hid them, ashamed, like you hid your scars on your face
We connected so well for so long, up until you became ashamed of me as well,
leaving the both of us to wallow in memories and things that remind me of your songs

A game, you played me like a ******* game
You convinced me I was the key to the lock you chained around your own heart
I thought you were the answer to my questions; you turned to create more that I still ask myself today.
Why shouldn't I cease to breathe? Will I ever be good enough? How much do I need to change? Is the only way to change this terrible existence ending it?
I could "fall" off that bridge we used to walk on when I wanted to see you and you insisted you missed me, too
I could jump from the tree we sat under last summer, holding hands while we watched the waves
I could even drown myself in that very water, the last thing I smell being the thing we used to relish in
No I only relish in the thought of getting carried away,
carried away like you said you had when you kissed him
I'll do what I want, not what you want
I want this in the same way you wanted him
I guarantee you you'll believe me when I tell you I'm okay;
I'll put on a better acting performance than you did for all our time together.
This is the first time in so long that my decision is dictated not by you, but by me,
In death I have control, and in ceasing to be I feel release
Thank you for teaching me what it feels like to love and lose,
Now just teach me how to let go as easily as you let go of me
Alas, after all,
If you talk, I'll listen to you

Maybe I'm different
For I am the king of arogance

when someone says they'll do anything for you
they're lying
unless they want to quit every second but don't as
they're crying
inside at the mere thought of letting you down while
they're dying
because they want to see you live life like you should

Your poetry is a lot better than mine
Professional
Clean
Passion-filled

I write.
I wrote?
I write.
From time to time.
But not like you.
I've seen your work.

Verbs brighter than a Sunday comic strip
Reminds me of playing dominos with my sisters after church
Play-dough sculptures
My hands can create anything, Mom!

But what now?
Broken hands
Broken mind
Broken poetry

I write.
But it's all ****.
It's been **** for months.
Not a **** analogy to come to mind
Except cliche darkness and awkward fumbling

So when you take my hand in yours
And kiss my forehead
And ask me if I write
I say
No

some connections can't be adequately explained
freezing wind and gilded ceilings, mousy brown roots
on bubblegum hair
keeping a scarf in place is too hard, and staying inside is too easy
(the bottom has cobblestones)
why is there is only such thing as effortless
when the air is cold enough to burn?
(the best veins are beneath the lids of my eyes)
if footsteps don't echo there's neither point nor interest
menthol, sorbitol, glycerin, xanthan
I exhale mint when I breathe in the world.

Grateful for you
That's what I am
Blissfully unaware of how hard it must be for you to love me
With my irrational moods
And my seething rage
And my hastiness to say that you're wrong
I'm a ******* nightmare
I don't know what it is that makes you want to stay
Maybe you were cursed to love a girl so intolerable
So intolerable that everyone else in her life leaves

Maybe that's why you stay
You see how few people can even stand me
And you've taken it upon yourself to stand me
And stand me for the long haul
Because you look in my eyes and you tell me you love me,
That you want me,
That you need me.
And I can see it's the truth.

But sometimes I pity you
And I wish I were strong enough to sever the connection
To protect you from further torture of loving me
But I'm far too weak to let you go
And I'm far too selfish to think of you over me

But I want to say that I'm sorry
For all the moods I go through in a day
And all the stress I must cause you

But if it's any consolation,
I love you from the very bottom of my heart
And you are the most important thing in my world
And if I could change myself,
Become more tolerable,
More lovable,
I would for you.