One day
Woke up feeling randy
No one else was handy
What's to do?
Get dressed
Satisfy the horn
With badly acted ****
On pay per view
Hopes sink
Cable's on the blink
But twitter lends a helping hand
Bang, bang, come and have a *******
Gain entrance on demand

Have a *******
Come and have a *******
It's a *******
Come and have a *******

Went out
Followed the directions
Battling erections
All the while
Red cheeks
Granny at the bus stop
Let her vision drop
Then cracked a smile
Half four
Knocking at the door
It opens and a voice proclaims
"Bang, bang, come and have a *******
We've far too many dames"

The host was a sight to see
Not far over seventy
And wrapped in a silk dressing gown
I thought I would walk away
But saw that the sky was grey
And it star-
-ted *******
It down

Stepped in
Blinded by a deep gloom
Ushered to a dark room
Curtains shut
Deep breath
Air is old and musty
Carpet feeling crusty
Underfoot
Sprawled there
Women lying bare
And fellas with their organs free
Bang, bang, cover up your ****, ****
Regain your decency

Pretty *******
Pretty ****** *******
****** *******
Pretty ****** *******

Look round
Writhing on the ground
With squishy little sounds
But something's odd
Fat lass
Itching at her *** crack
Isn't that a *******?
Oh my god!
Jaw drops
Granny from the bus stop
Wearing nothing but a grin
Bang, bang, pretty ****** *******
What ******* let her in?

She's nothing but skin and bone
With ribs like a xylophone
At least several decades too old
To use the vernacular
It's like bumming Dracula
She's wiry
She's wizened
She's cold

Oh (pretty) no (******)
Rasping on my ****
With fingers like a sock
Filled up with ice
No (scary) chance (hairy)
Giving her the slip
My todger's in a grip
Just like a vice
It (saggy) seems (baggy)
Like she's in a dream
While scraping with her ancient hand
Bang, bang, ****** ****** *******
My sore and swollen gland

Granny bang bang
Granny granny *******
Granny *******
Granny ***** *******

Knock, knock
Coppers at the door
Go crawling on the floor
And off at speed
What fun
Looking at the punters
Myriad of munters
As they flee'd
Cold, wet
Drowning in regret
With trousers round my knees I stand
Bang bang ****** ****** *******
Next time I'll use my hand
Bang bang ****** ****** *******
Next time I'll use my haaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!

Dear Johnny, Dear Jane,

We never really got along,
I never like you from the start,
so here's a little song I wrote
about your ******, ****** heart.

You have a ****** way,
you're a psychopath with pride.
The things you do to those around you
show your shittiness inside.

It's really a pity
that you're so ******,
you're ****** to the core.
You never feel love,
your ****** fits like a glove,
and each day you get ******* more and more.

All you'll ever be is ******,
you'd steal from the poor and the blind,
you'd poison the food of your neighbors kitty
and you wouldn't even mind.

You're a terrible, mean  person,
you lie and cheat and steal.
You take what you want and leave nothing behind,
you probably don't even feel.

It's really a pity
that you're so ******,
you're ****** to the core.
You never feel love,
your ****** fits like a glove,
and each day you get ******* more and more.

Your just a big, steamy, smelly, reeking, ****** pile of ****!

Sincerely, Me

There are ****** people in the world. There are ****** white people. There are ****** black people. There are ****** mexican people. There are ****** asian people. There are ****** short people. There are ****** tall people. There are ****** smart people. There are ****** dumb people. There are ****** people that act nice. There are ****** people that don't care. There are people on this earth that would punch a disabled child in the face in order to hear them cry. There are people that **** because nothing great was on tv. There are people that **** for money. There are people that **** for power. There are people that would **** a woman and leave her on the side of the street for someone else to deal with. There are people that would beat a child's head in just to see what's on the inside. There are religious people that do awful things. There are non religious people that do awful things. Some people would cut off a cats' paws one by one because they liked the way the purrs changed. Some people would do it regardless of the purrs. There are people that would hack off a mans testicles just to see his face after he realizes what has happened. There are people that just want something for the mantlepiece.

To disagree is stupid. These people exist. Which is why it makes no sense to talk of peace.

When we are clearly living in Hell.